Again, even if you hate all hardcore, that's fine. The Japanese deathmatch stuff went over the line a lot in the 80s and 90s and much of it was stupid.
I think a lot of the reason I can still look back at Cactus, Terry and the ECW guys and still enjoy it is because they understood the emotion necessary to make the violence work. Terry Funk VS. Sabu at Born to be Wired is a good example of that. Yes it's grotesquely violent and bloody but, Terry and Sabu made me care about what was happening.
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