Eddie Guerrero: Heyyyyyyy mamacita!
Impaired Judgment. Another sign of hunger.
Bradshaw: THAT'S RIGHT. Not only are you a homo, but I AM getting a main event push.
And apparently, Bradshaw's push was too much for this long time WWE fan to handle.
Cena had a problem, he wore so many Jerseys in cheap attempts to please the crowds that he forgot the name of this town's team...
Steven Richards: Here comes the chu-chu train! (Starts moving a spoonful of medicine around in circles)
Cena: God damnit Lt. Dan, you are on my last nerves. Maybe I will leave you out here to die, you unappreciative asshole.
Chavo: Hahaha! Yeah right. Take my Cruiserweight Title? The WWE would never put that belt on a black person!
After telling Jackie he hid chocolates in his jock, Chavo reaped the benefits.
Where will you be when your constipation acts up and you're in the middle of being buried by a Diva?
Chavo: What! Someone tell me what the fuck is going on!
Ref: Well, Chavo... She pinned ya... Therefore, she is the new champ.
Chavo: What!? You can pin someone to take their title?
Congratulations to Jacqueline, the WWE Boobyweight Champion!
Stamboli: They're actually... Crucifying him? ...Nunzio... Did *we* do that?
Nunzio: Ah, I never thought of that.
Stamboli: What? That Jews killed Jesus?
Nunzio: Oh, no. Crucifying someone as opposed to breaking their kneecaps with a baseball cat. *Slaps him in the back of the head*
(8)Oompa, Loompa, Doompity-Doo, I've got a Texas Ranger for you(8)
The referee and The Undertaker played themselves a little guessing game.
Undertaker: (Chokeslamming The Bull)
(Referee begins urinating all over the ring as seen in the TitanTron)
Undertaker: (Last Ride on Nunzio) The FBI's credibility!
Referee: Correct!
Undertaker: Do you see him?
Nunzio: No, not in sight.
Undertaker: I guess they released him, I was going to bury him. But since he's gone, you'll do nicely. (SLAM.)
The Bull: *Farts*
Undertaker: ...Not cool, man. *Pisses himself*
The Bull: $&*^$&%$#%&#$&$#^
Undertaker: Fucker.
(A few minutes after this picture took place)
Ref: Whew, that was a hell of an orgy. That Richards really can pound!
Undertaker: Pfft, you should have seen what I was doing to his wife!
RVD: Whoa... Dude... Check out my hand... Check out the trails...
Vince: RVD, I'm talking to you damnit! Are you on drugs!?
RVD: Haha, it's cool man...
Torrie: (8)I know! That backwards is the only way my fart, will goooooooo...(8)
Guy in front row:
Ohhhhh yeah. (Readies nostrils)
When Vince told Torrie that they usually took care of operations to boost a Diva's "charisma," she went ahead and ordered herself a nosejob. Boy did she regret it.
Rene: Zat will teach you to wear ze same colors as me to a party, you beetch!
Cena: No! Leave me with my men! I'm supposed to die out here! With honor!
Rene: Whot ze fook...
John Cena: French Tickler.
Apparently, Cena made the mistake of challenging God to a match.
RVD: Ok, which one of you am I supposed to fight? The guy in blue, the guy in yellow camo, or the little guy with the big nose and the pipe?
RVD: Ok, now on the count of three, I'm gonna release all the smoke I inhaled, straight out of my butt... It'll get you stoned like hell... One... Two...
RVD: Hey... That Abe Lincoln guy on this penny just winked at me...
Ref: Rey, how many fingers am I holding up?
Rey: Quatro.
Ref: Wow, that's not even a number, you moron.
After waking up from crashing at RVD's party, Eddie was alarmed to realize that he was half naked, holding a folding chair, and was the WWE Champion.
Eddie: They're out to get me...
Belty: Yessssss... YESSSSS... They're all out to get you. Especially that timekeeper guy... You notice the way he holds me during our matches?
Eddie: Must... Kill... Timekeeper.