[loopydate]

Goddamn, Mrs. Guerrero looks like my grandma...

Mrs. Guerrero loved her son's new "Turn your head and COUGH, invisible homes!" catchphrase.



Mrs. Guerrero couldn't believe it. What he was saying was true. It all makes sense now! The lack of satisfaction from her marriage, her love of "Wild Things," her fixation with Gina Gershon...



Stevie Richards - CPR Expert tried his best to revive Mrs. Guerrero.




Cena froze. He knew he had a catchphrase, but he couldn't remember what it was. WWE was flashing it on the TitanTron, one letter at a time, but he couldn't exactly turn around without giving away that he'd forgotten it. What to do? What to do?



The answer was clear. No, Doug didn't want to hear the most annoying sound in the world.



CENA: SOMETHIN' BIT ME!



Before the festivities began, Jackie needed a quick tutorial.



She's a fast learner. I'll give her that.



When Stevie tried to get him some, Jackie dealt with matters the American way!



Chavo couldn't believe it. Not only had he lost his Cruiserweight Title, but Vince had come to collect on that "I'd rather lose my right leg below the knee than lose my Cruiserweight Title" remark.



Somewhere, Madusa smiled. And a mirror shattered.



The FBI has the same reaction to tonight's booking as everyone else.



TAKER: Paul, what's that smoke? You didn't...
PAUL: OHHHHH, YEEEEES!



It was at this moment, that Shooter knew he was fucked.



TAKER: This will teach you to demean Native American heritage!
NUNZIO: How?



JOHNNY: Dude, do you even OWN soap?



TAKER: Somebody had to get the ref out of the ring. Then I noticed he was sitting on his sweet can. So I licked his sweet can. Ohhhh, just thinking about his can, I wish I had his sweet, sweet, s-s-s-sweet can.



VOICE: I'm... not... telling... you... anything... you... didn't... already... know!



Uh-oh...Torrie's getting all steamed up.

More later. I gotta go.