[We come back to a video package highlighting Gail Kim and Awesome Kong’s path of destruction over the past few weeks, along with A.J.’s turn on Mickie James last week.]
[Gail Kim, Awesome Kong, and A.J. slowly make their way down the ramp. A small table has been set up in the ring. The ladies enter the ring. Kong places the two buckets, full of water, down on the table. A.J. places the black bag in the middle. Gail grabs a microphone. Gail stands behind the table flanked by Kong and A.J.. Gail brings up the microphone to talk, but brings it back down as the heat is incredible. Gail teases talking a few more times, before actually speaking.]
Gail Kim: Pay attention very closely.
[She opens the black bag and removes a few towels, along with those fast makeup removing pad-things. All three ladies begin to remove their makeup, to tremendous boos.]
Tony Gooch: Wait… no! What are they doing, Emma?! Emma, make them stop!
Emma Dilemma: You can go in there if you want, I’m going to stay right here, thank you.
Tony Gooch: Good God, they DO know that we are in HD, right?!!
[They quickly finish removing their makeup and stand there, looking slightly scary (especially Kong). Gail picks up the microphone once more.]
Gail Kim: We have nothing to hide. We are athletes. We are not here to entertain you. We are not here to prance around and gratuitously display our bodies and sexuality to you people. WE ARE WRESTLERS! Just as good, if not better, than some of the men! But just because we are women… we have been treated as afterthoughts… as jokes… ridiculed and humiliated!
Worst of all are those of our own kind who helped to perpetuate this status quo for female athletes. Mickie James. The Beautiful People. LayCool. All of them have contributed to the downfall of women’s wrestling. All of them will be destroyed.
Yet others have been offered a choice. Join The Movement to reclaim our glory, to usher in a new age for female competitors everywhere. One in which we are treated with the respect and dignity of equals! You saw the offer extended to Beth Phoenix… and well… she refused… and Kong put her on the shelf single-handedly!
Still others have had the wisdom to listen to reason. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my distinct pleasure, honor, and privilege… to introduce you to… April Jeanette!
[Gail passes the microphone over to April (A.J.)]
April Jeanette: People have been asking me all week. Why did you turn your back on Mickie James? I have a different question. Why did Mickie James turn her back on us? Trish Stratus passed her the torch, however dim it may have been, and she dropped it! She allowed the standard of female wrestling to become marked by not how skilled of a competitor you were… but by how much you could become a vapid slut.
I came into this business bright eyed… full of hope. Then… NXT. I am a world class athlete and competitor… but I was forced to take part in joke-offs, dance-offs, musical chairs, stupid trivia contests… all the while we were made fun of and treated as complete jokes by the commentators, the producers, and the fans. It was the most demeaning thing I had ever been a part of in my life. Still, I played the part. I smiled, and waved, and bounced around… anything for the chance to live out my dream.
But then… the ultimate slap in the face. A girl with absolutely no wrestling skills at all… is picked over me. Why? Because she could do the robot? Still, I smiled and played along... What choice did I have but continue to try to give you people what you wanted to see from us women?
Then I came to the UCE… and finally… Gail Kim and Awesome Kong have presented me with an alternative! I don’t have to hide behind the pretense of being the bubbly energetic “A.J.”! My name is April Jeanette! I am an athlete! And standing with The Movement… we will finally get the respect we deserve!
[April lowers the microphone. Gail Kim and Awesome Kong clap, while the audience jeers. Gail takes the microphone back from April.]
Gail Kim: Admirably said, April…. And The Movement comes to a head this Sunday. At Wrasslepalooza, we will take down our enemies with a prejudice! I had a little chat with Veronica Preston earlier today… and this Sunday it is going to be April Jeanette teaming with Awesome Kong to take on The Beautiful People and LayCool in a triple threat tag team match! Meanwhile… Mickie James… is all mine! One on one! I am finally going to-
[Just then, in the most unexpected turn of events!]
[Mickie James comes walking out from behind the curtain to a large pop from the crowd, a microphone in hand.]
Mickie James: I have had just about enough about this as I can take! You ladies say that you want respect… how about shutting the hell up?! Enough with your whining and complaining!
It has never been easy for women in this industry… heck, in any industry! Every year, though, the number of powerful and influential women in the workforce grows. We are much better off than we were even just a few years ago. You know how we got there?
Instead of crying and moaning for respect and equality, women everywhere have EARNED it by working extra hard and PROVING themselves. Just like I have earned it. By putting forward my best effort, each and every time I come out here! By still being true to myself, but busting my ass off to entertain these people at the same time!
You stop talking, and you start giving your all and more, and soon enough you will have your respect! This Sunday at Wrasslepalooza, Gail… you better be ready. Because I’m ready to show you first hand how you earn respect…. And I am going to shut you up, once and for all!
But, hey! Sunday is Sunday! … and Tonight is Tonight! And tonight… I want to teach Miss April Jeanette, the same lesson! You know, A.J., “April”… I thought you got it. I really did. Then you go and throw in with the likes of Kim and Awesome Kong. I’m pretty disappointed in you… but not enough to hesitate one bit for what you did to me last week! Come on! How about it?!
[The Movement talk amongst themselves for a moment before Gail raises the microphone.]
Gail Kim: No.
[The fans boo-urns]
Gail Kim: Don’t get me wrong… April would love to fight you. To take you apart, piece by piece. But I want you complete and whole this Sunday, so that when I beat you, there will be no doubt who deserves the respect around here!
Mickie James: Well then… I’m just going to have to walk down this ramp and get myself some action, anyways! Because I came to fight!
Gail Kim: Ha! You and what army?
Mickie James: Funny you mention that.
[Mickie looks behind her. Out come The Beautiful People and LayCool, who stand on either side of her.]
Mickie James: You see, something good came out of your crusade after all… you have managed to unite these girls for the first time! You said that at Wrasslepalooza, you were going to destroy all of your enemies in one swoop? Well… I think you got it backwards! Because at Wrasslepalooza, we’re going to be the ones to shut you up!
[Mickie, The BPs, and LayCool run down the ramp. The Movement quickly exit the ring and exit into the crowd. Gail is shaking her head and yelling “on our terms”, while the ladies now in the ring motion for them to come back and fight. The fans are going banana.]
Emma Dilemma: Oh my! The Movement on the retreat! The other girls finally showing some unity! It all comes to a head this Sunday, and I can’t wait!!
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[Backstage, Kevin Nash is seen heading towards the ring…]
Tony Gooch: Kevin Nash?! Is he even in this company?! Looks like he’s coming this way! Don’t go anywhere!
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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[We come back to the sight of The World’s Most Interesting Man, Kevin Nash, walking down the ramp and into the ring. He throws up the wolfpac symbol, and then calls for a microphone.]
Kevin Nash: That’s right! All the boundless Internet rumors were true! Big Sexy, Kevin Nash, has come to the UCE! First order of business… Dolph Ziggler. Last week he challenged Sting to a match this Sunday. He’s been in Sting’s face since day one here… Ziggler says he wants to fight that angry, fired up Sting. I’ve faced that angry Sting… and well… he isn’t a guy that you want across from you. Which is exactly why I later befriended the man.
But… I have to come right out and say this… I like Dolph Ziggler. He reminds me a lot of me when I was younger… only shorter, and not as good looking. Still, he has potential. Which is why I’d like to call him out here to give him a little piece of advice. C’mon, Dolph!
[Dolph Ziggler ziggles out from behind the curtain, down the ramp, and into the ring.]
Kevin Nash: Dolph. Like I said, I like you. You got talent, skill, and the look to be big. Eventually. Going after Sting? Making him angry? I think you might be biting off a bit more than you can chew. I know there’s no way to call this thing off now, but if you apologized to Sting… maybe you’ll leave Wrasslepalooza in one piece.
[Ziggler smirks and grabs another microphone.]
Dolph Ziggler: Well, thanks for your concern Kevin… but I KNOW that I can handle Sting. I KNOW that I can, and will, beat him, and prove to you... To everybody… That I am the new face of the wrestling industry!
Kevin Nash: Not if Sting tears it off.
Dolph Ziggler: What do you know, anyways? Last week, I said that Sting was the only legend still in this business who still had “it”, who didn’t just phone it in for a paycheck! That includes you, Nash! I know exactly why you’re here in the UCE! It’s to sit on your ass, live in the past, and get more money!
Kevin Nash: Alright, kid… NOW you’ve offended me! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting an easy paycheck! …. And… I think I can make another phone call tonight, so I can kick your ass! Maybe then, your ego will deflate enough for you to listen to me!
[Dolph contemplates this for a moment, then smirks and nods.]
Dolph Ziggler: You’re on! Sting, I hope you’re watching!
Emma Dilemma: Kevin Nash versus Dolph Ziggler?! Right now?! This is huge!!
Tony Gooch: I don’t know if this is wise on Ziggler’s part… he’s already got a huge match on Sunday!
Match #5: Kevin Nash vs. Dolph Ziggler
[The match sees Nash dominate early on, with Ziggler then taking control. Yadda yadda yadda, momentum goes back and forth. Ziggler is looking mighty impressive, but Nash is showing his stuff as well. It is a real battle. The end sees Ziggler slip out of the Jackknife to hit the Zig-Zag for the win.]
Tony Gooch: I can’t believe it! Dolph Ziggler won! He beat Kevin Nash!
Emma Dilemma: Well, it was no east feat, but he did at that! Ziggler has definitely sent a message out to Sting… but was it worth it? Ziggler took some big hits there!
Tony Gooch: But he survived, Emma! I hope Sting knows that-
[Just then, the lights turn off!]
Tony Gooch: Hey, what the-? What is this? What’s going on??!?!?!?!
[As usual, the commentators have no clue what is happening, even though by now it should be obvious. The lights turn back on and Sting is standing in the ring, bat in hand. Sting wallops Ziggler in the stomach with it, and then cracks it over the back of his head as he doubles over. The fans go nuts, because they love violence. Sting poses and celebrates.]
Emma Dilemma: Sting! Sending a message loud and clear right back to Ziggler! Sting, Ziggler, Wrasslepalooza!
=====================
[Backstage, AJ Styles is stretching and warming up.]
Emma Dilemma: And there you see AJ Styles, who will fight for the World Heavyweight Title this Sunday! But first, he has to face an opponent hand-picked by one of his opponents, John Cena! We’ll find out who that is, along with Styles, next!
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Tony Gooch: Welcome back! It is my distinct honor and privilege to be joined here at the booth by a descendant of Kings… Alberto Del Rio!
Alberto Del Rio: Thank you, Tony.
Emma Dilemma: I assume, of course, that you are here to have a first hand look at AJ Styles in action, and not to interject yourself into this match in any way.
Alberto Del Rio: I am insulted by your insinuations. I am a man of honor and integrity. On my word, I will not touch Styles while his match goes on…
[AJ Styles comes out onto the ramp, to a grand reaction from the fans. He makes his way down the ramp, and into the ring. Styles points to Alberto in a “you stay there” kinda fashion. He grabs a microphone and turns towards the ramp.]
AJ Styles: Come on, Cena. Let’s see what you’ve got for me this week. Whoever it is, it doesn’t matter… because I will beat them… and then go on to this Sunday to win the Heavyweight Title…. And prove to you, and all these people… just exactly why they call me Phenomenal!
[There is a dramatic pause before…]
Emma Dilemma: WHAAAAAAAAT?! This can’t be right! She’s a woman!
Tony Gooch: I know. Without makeup, it is confusing. But that is indeed a woman!
Emma Dilemma: That’s not what I meant…
[Awesome Kong storms down the ramp and into the ring. AJ looks at her in a disbelieving manner. The look on his face is erased by a big clothline from Kong.]
Match #6: AJ Styles vs. Awesome Kong
[Kong dominates the early going after getting the advantage. Styles eventually starts to fight back into it, having quickly come to terms with hitting a lady. Styles just can’t seem to take control, though, and when he does, he can’t seem to even knock Kong down. Eventually, he manages to knock her down to a big ovation. He can’t seem to get the pin, though, and soon enough Kong is back into the swing of things.
The end sees The Beautiful People run down the ramp and jump up on the apron. Their assets distract the referee. LayCool jumps into the ring from out of the crowd. Michelle McCool seems to have the BP’s trademark weapon, The Ugly Stick, and wallops Kong with it in the back of the head, which takes her down to one knee, until a second shot knocks her over. AJ Styles doesn’t look too happy about this development. The ref, drawn by the noise, turns around and catches LayCool in the act. The bell is rung. Styles looks displeased.
The BPs enter the ring, and along with LayCool is stomping the fallen Awesome Kong.]
Emma Dilemma: Well! The Beautiful People and LayCool have cost AJ Styles the match here… but they are finally getting their hands on Awesome Kong! The Movement ran away from a fight earlier tonight, but it looks like it has found their biggest member! The BPs! LayCool! Unity at last!
Alberto Del Rio: Well… time for me to go as well.
[Alberto Del Rio leaves the commentator booth to slide into the ring. Him and Styles immediately go at it. Meanwhile, Michelle McCool has suddenly turned turned about and hit Velvet Sky with the Ugly Stick! Now the BPs and LayCool are going at it!]
Tony Gooch: Well, so much for unity!
[Gail Kim and April Jeanette run down the ramp and join the fray. Mickie James runs down soon after to go after Gail and April.
Alberto is still fighting with Styles… when John Cena appears and clobbers them both!]
Emma Dilemma: What is going on here?! We have lost total control! This is… this is… CARNAGE!
[The ladies are all entangled in a brawl, as are the men. Security is overwhelmed.]
Emma Dilemma: This is madness! It all comes to a head this Sunday at Wrasslepalooza!
[The brawl continues. The show ends with a customary:]
Tony Gooch: OH MY GOD WE’RE ALL OUTTA TIME