Thread: The United Paper Bags of TPWW (The UPB of TPWW): **UPDATED cabinet positions on page 1 only**
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Old 06-09-2011, 11:57 AM   #33
Shaved Monkey
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The United Paper Bag Secretary of Homeland Security (Shaved Monkey) is the head of the United Paper Bag Department of Homeland Security, the body concerned with protecting the TPWW homeland and the safety of the Paper Bag BRETHREN. The Secretary is a member of the President's Cabinet. The position was created by the Homeland Security Act following various SERVER OVERLOADS and any possible v.W.o terrorist attacks. The new department consisted primarily of components transferred from other cabinet departments because of their role in homeland security, such as the Brown Guard, Protective Brown Service, United Paper Bag Customs and Forum Border Protection (which includes the Forum Border Patrol), Secret Service, and the Forum Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), and keeping a close eye on the Vietnemese Crippler and his stranglehold on the tech forum . It did not, however, include Jabba's vise-like grip on the c-fed forum.[1]

On January 20, 2009, the Senate confirmed The Naitch's appointment of Shaved Monkey to be the 1st Secretary of Homeland Security.[2] To assure a smooth transition however, Lara Emily aka Larry Emilio was asked to use the mens' washroom if ever she/he steps foot in the Brown House for we do not recognize her/his sex change as legitimate.
I promise that no harm will ever come to us. My brown shirts will keep us safe and pure for all eternity.
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