Eric: Hunter - what's going on?
HHH: I want my belt back!
Eric: But you've got that much fake tan on that you look like Val Venis!
HHH: Uuummm.....I only put on a little bit....
Eric: I can't put you on RAW like this!
HHH: Why not?
Eric: Everyone will know that you and Dave have been 'bumping uglies' again!
HHH:
Edge realised there were better times and places to follow through on a fart.
Edge: We have to make Ric retire Mike. Keep hitting him, it's the only way!
Mike: It's...*thump*... For..*thump*...Your..*thump*...Own..*thump*..Good..*thump*
HHH's attempt to convince Dave that they could both hide behind the red cushion until Vince's limo pulled up was flawed from the start. Dave knew that the cushion couldn't possibly cover both HHH, Batista AND the legs of HHH's chair!
Welcome to Vince McMahons new and improved XXXFL, now featuring naked lesbian football players!
Matt's attempt to enjoy a quiet hotdog were thwarted when Lita walked up and bit him on the face. He wouldn't normally have bothered, but he was really enjoying that hotdog!
Hurricane failed to heed the warning in his entrance theme, and never stood back as the Hurricane came through.
Orton: I AM THE IC CHAMPION!
Jericho:
Enjoy it while it lasts....
Orton: I AM THE MAN!
Jericho:
I remember those days...
Orton: VINCE LOVES ME!
Jericho:
yeah, but he's fickle...
Orton: MY TITLE REIGN WILL GO ON FOREVER!
Jericho:
that's what they told me too.....
Orton: Hey Chris, did you say something?
Jericho: Nah, just reminiscing quietly to myself.
Orton: Look at my title. Isn't it shiny?
Jericho: It's alright.
Orton: You're jealous!
Jericho: Me? Been there, seen it, done it, got the t-shirt, watched the video, cut the promo, taken the bumps, enjoyed the push, wore the belt, had the chicks, got the haircuts, watched Vince change his mind and relegate me to mid-card hell, made the face turn, made the heel turn, had the main-event.....
Orton: Wait! What was that one near the end?
Jericho: Which one?
Orton: The Main Event - that sounds neat!
Jericho:
dumb-ass poser!
Batista: I heard that Jericho! You called Orton a Dumb-Ass Poser! Well there's only one Dumb-Ass Poser on RAW and it ain't Randy Orton!
Jericho:
and we all know who that is......
Trish: You know, Dave might have a bigger chest than me......did I just say that out loud?
King: um......puppies?
JR: BBQ SAUCE!
Trish *thinking*: Hmmm....Haggis Ravioli in a Whisky Caffe Latte Sauce or Roasted Red Pepper and Grilled Goats Cheese Tartlets? Why can't I ever decide?
Why Shelton declined the invitation to sing 'The Camptown Ladies' with Jericho was a mystery to no-one except Jericho.
Jericho: Sing dammit!
Shelton: Ain't gonna happen!
WWE Managements attempts to organise a team building day got declared formally 'stupid' after they blindfolded Tyson Tomko, got him to carry Jericho backwards, and told Trish to guide them to the ring using hand signals only.
End result: A Lita*
*definition of a Lita: Botch beyond normal human comprehension, despite instruction, coaching, demonstrations and other assorted learning aids.
Kane's stand-up comedy segment went down like a lead balloon, after asking the audience what the difference between Katie Vick and Lita was, and then promptly forgetting the punchline.
Victoria: Molly! It's not a wig! Stop trying to pull it off!
Eric: So we need a 20 second filler segment before we go to commercial so I thought I could use this time to get you guys on TV, don't forget in the overall grand scheme of talent on RAW, you guys might as well be this height in Vince's eyes, including you Benoit!
Chris: Then how do you explain my push?
Eric: Typo.
Eugene's HHH impression:
'I've got all the gold! I've got all the gold!'
HHH: That bastards got all my gold!
Orton: If I could just ask you to move your hand a little this way, and unclench you fist a little more, H.
HHH: Really not the time!
In a move to confuse the audience, HHH made his way to the ring impersonating HBK.
Luckily a jobber ran out from the back, and he was able to pull off the Sweet Chin Music impression perfectly.
HHH *thinking*: Roll on HIAC! No-one will be able to tell us apart, so they'll all be cheering Sean, but they'll really be cheering me! Suckers!
In an impromptu display of affection, Eugene's birthday caused all the roster to come out and give him a good hearty pat on the back. That Eugene - he's such a nice guy!
Vince (offscreen): Hunter, will you come and loofah my stretchmarks?
HBK *shouting to the audience*: IT'S THE TEETH! YOU CAN TELL US APART BY THE TEETH!