With the rising popularity of SmackDown stars like John Cena, Triple H knew he'd need some backup to stay on top.
Vince and Steven Richards pose for the troops.
VINCE: Ha ha ha!
SANTA: No...
Vince couldn't help but shake the feeling that he'd forgotten something. He brought Eddie Guerrero. He brought John Cena. Hell, he even brought Stone Cold. Then, it dawned on him. He left the WWE Champion back in the States!
After finishing every beer on the base, Austin was glad he brought his baggy pants for this trip.
Unfortunately, a jumpy PFC thought that Austin was holding a grenade and the show came screeching to a halt.
Austin counts the number of soldiers who knew the REAL reason they'd been sent over here to die.
Sure, the crowd popped huge, but Bradshaw knew he'd have to answer to Brock for pulling off an F5.
To commemorate Christmas in Baghdad, Ron and Charlie prepared a good old-fashioned 21-fart salute.
BRADSHAW: Oh, a genocidal dictator, huh? Hey, Ron! I don't see so good. Is that Adolf Hitler out there?
FAAROOQ: The Chris Farley thing was funny when the Rock did it. Let it drop.
AUSTIN: So, what, you're telling me that Booker T's a FIVE-time WCW Champion?
Rhyno was confused. He hadn't read anything about an eclipse...
Everyone ducked and covered when the terror alert was raised to orange.
Rhyno sought shelter in the safest place he could think of...
...and managed to pull a prank at the same time!
Since his retirement, "Ickey" Woods had really let himself go. But, damned if he couldn't still do the Shuffle.
Vince's reaction as the soldier explained that the reason that this base was even here was because Saddam had weapons of mass destruction and posed a legitimate terrorist threat to the United States.
CENA: Yo yo yo... I just found somebody whiter than me in the desert, y'all.
Shelton Benjamin out of character was...well...he wasn't quite as cool.
CENA: And that is why this American-imposed "peace" won't last. Any questions?
Ron subtly tries to point to who's sitting on his left hand.
HHH: Best technical wrestler in the world, eh?
CHRIS: Good. Now, you just wrap your legs around my arm and grab my jaw with both hands.
EDDIE (on a bullhorn): Good. Now, you just jump out, fold yourself up, and straighten out just before you land on me.
CHRIS: I will never mock the frogsplash again...
The ref was shocked. Where had Eddie's torso gone?
Living up to his "Crippler" nickname, Benoit had already snapped Eddie's lower legs off, and he had designs on the arms below the elbow.
During the next air raid, Eddie tried to seek shelter as Rhyno had before. Unfortunately, his opponent was less...accomodating.
The ref was puzzled. What was Benoit wrapping his arms around?
SOLDIER: I wanna be a wrestler.
VINCE: You look like a white Radio.
SOLDIER: How did you know I could sing?
RIKISHI: Now how many hundreds of pounds does my ass weigh?
A drunken Austin suddenly turned to the soldier to his left and gave him a passionate kiss, whispering something about "Loving your music, Miss Lang."
KIDMAN (at home): Whore.
BENOIT: Okay, Vince. Operation Elevation is in effect. You're clear on your objectives?
VINCE: Take Triple H down.
BENOIT: Use any force necessary. Non-lethal. I want him for questioning.
VINCE: Sir, yes, sir!
BENOIT: Those hypnotism tapes work great!
Sable's role in Operation Elevation was to blast a hole through the glass ceiling. Somehow, though, something was holding her arms down.
EDDIE:
Orale, homes! This is just like being back in El Paso,
ese!
Ho.
Ho.
Ho.
Merry Christmas!
International television proved what Playboy tried to cover up. The carpet does NOT match the curtains.
Fans were confused. Was Big Show putting on a four-star match? No, wait. That's a lighting grid.
John "Exorcist" Cena performs another miracle.
AUSTIN: You're right. I can't see you. Move your damned hand.
Worst. Heimlich. Ever.
AUSTIN: No, you're a homo!
SHOW: Why, you little...