A little behind the times, the US troops saluted after blowing up a heel Sergeant Slaughter.
Vince: "So you see, O'Haire, if you really want a push, you're gonna have to go through my 5000 man army! Muahaahahahaaaa!!!"
Vince: "I haven't been naughty, Santa! I only buried Jericho
twice this year!"
Somewhere in the back of Vince's mind was the strangest feeling that a storyline stipulation was being broken.
Steve always loved to pull up a chair, drink a beer, and watch a war live.
Austin: "Hey Saddam! Want a beer? What? Imprisoned in some jail? What? Caught like a rodent in a spider hole? What?"
At home, Angle let out a curse. Leave it to Austin to steal his pose.
Bradshaw was put in charge of dragging all people who didn't blindly believe in the U.S. uberpatriotic rhetoric to their executions.
Farooq wasn't sure what to do. When the other guy lost their contacts, did you continue with the match or just stall?
Bradshaw shielded his eyes. He'd just saw his senses a moment ago, but now they were gone again.
Austin: "I'm serious, Benoit. We've enlisted you in the army so that you'll never get a push again!"
Benoit: "Get out!"
The tension mounted as Rikishi confronted Rhyno about supergluing the toilet after Rikishi's big lunch.
Rikishi held Rhyno in place as the ref slapped him silly. That would teach him to play with crazy glue!
Rhyno found out the messy way who ate his push.
Rikishi was as shocked as anyone to find Grandmaster Sexay here, out of all places.
Rikishi's superkick lesson were met with a huge pop from the US military.
Soldier: "But sir, if you allowed the Cruiserweights to operate at full speed, putting on fast-paced, high-octane matches that excited the crowd into a frenzy, you'd get higher ratings and attract more viewers!
Vince: "Ahahaahahahhahaha!!! That's a good one, soldier. Now it's that sort of advice that's why I'm the owner of the WWE and you're stuck here fighting a meaningless war against insurgents who can ambush you at any moment."
Soldier: "So we found Saddam in the hole, and he was like, 'You can't see me!' and we were like, 'Yes we can,' and then he gave up."
Cena: "Nice incorpration of my catchphrase into the story."
Soldier: "Thank you Mr. Cena."
People weren't exactly sure what to think when the WWE introduced Arsenio Hall as its newest wrestler.
Farooq: "Whoa! He's a homo!"
Rikishi: "You viewers are ALL homos!"
Queer Eye: "What's with all these gay jokes? I hope you know you're alienating a whole branch of Americans with these jokes! By, the way, Farooq, you should have used some baby powder to get rid of those ink stains on your shirt."
Farooq: "Shut up."
Dictated: "Lets go kill Benoit's push."
Unfortunately, the last word was accidentally ommited off what was transcribed.
Benoit was frustrated. Now was not the time for Eddie to be dancing the Hot Potato.
The WWE had to use armed force to get Nathan Jones to come back.
ChrisEddie, the world's first siamese no legged wrestlers in the world, made their debut.
Who'da thunk Eddie Guerrero was a kiss-ass?
Tazz: "Here comes a BELLY TO BELLY!"
Cole: "Um, the match is over."
In fitting with the night of debuts, Eric Angle made his grand entrance as GI Joe.
Rikishi: "Hey, buddy, tell them how many matches I'll win next year!"
Soldier: "Okay!"
Rikishi: "Hahahaha... HEY...!"
It's good to know that Zach Gowen ended up finding a nice job in the military.
Married Soldier: "Whore."
At last, it was time for the Celebrity Deathmatch. Vince vs Benoit. Winner gets a push and TV time, loser is buried forever.
Torrie wasn't quite sure if hunting down the Velocity wrestlers was ethical, but hey, she was getting paid for it...
Eddie reacted with childish excitement when he found out the ENTIRE rifle was made out of chocolate!
After a night out drinking, Mrs. Claus found herself hopelessly lost and away from home.
"Al! Al? Is that you honey bunny?"
It's gettin' hot in here, so take off all your clothes...
Torrie thought she'd motivate the troops just before target practice until she noticed Theodore Long in the crowd.
I didn't know Torrie was French.
Big Show, being the consumate heel, put Cena in an abdominal stretch and stole his wallet at the same time.
Selling punches was an extremely exhausting job for the Big Show.
Austin was so drunk he really couldn't see Cena.
Big Show countered Austin's stunner with the biggest wedgie of his life!
The other wrestlers laughed when Austin announced who would be left behind in Baghdad because of America's new "No Useless Sacks Allowed" policy.
Whew! That was a LOT of pics!