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Superman Returns
Superman: The Movie is the first movie I remember ever watching. I grew up idolizing Chris Reeve's Superman and loved all of the movies except #3 because Richard Pryor scared me (yes, I even loved the bastard child Superman IV: The Quest For Peace). The last Superman movie was made in 1987, the same year that I was born. I waited a long time to see the man of steel on the big screen.
I was incredibly amped about the coming of Superman Returns: it had the director of one of the best superhero movies I'd ever seen (Bryan Singer's X2), a guy who looked like a decent Superman, Kevin fucking Spacey as Lex Luthor, Marlon Brando as Jor-El, and most of all, the special effects abilities of the modern age to hopefully give us some kind of incredible super fight between Superman and Doomsday or Zod or a giant robot or something.
And then the movie crushed every hope I had. The angle with the kid, Superman being a stalker, the change to his costume, the lack of any kind of fighting AT ALL, the forceful Jesus Christ imagery, the shitty acting of Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane, a finale that saw Superman fight a GIANT FUCKING ROCK... I left feeling like I had been raped. Raped by Superman.
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