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So, I was honestly not even going to bother with this this week... but dunno. I am bored an have nothing better to do right now.
Then I wasn't going to bother commenting on my viewing experience, but... had to comment because coming out now are "The Bravado Brothers", and one of them literally looks like Howard from The Big Bang Theory. Very intimidating looking, in other words.
- Apparently the Bravado Brothers names are "Lancelot" and "Harlem". Harlem is not black. He is an equally skinny and non-threatening looking white guy. I think the term Vanilla Midget literally describes these guys.
They are facing Steve Corino and Jimmy Jacobs. Who have made a deal with Jim Cornette to get into this tournament. A deal which says if they lose any match in the tourney, they will leave ROH. Not quite sure why they would accept a deal like that.
Also, all it does is make it obvious that they are going to win the tournament. Could have maybe wrote the deal that they would not get involved in the World Title Match at the PPV or something.
Man, this match just won't end. I can't get into it at all, just because of how ridiculous The Bravado Bros look.
Also, I hate how half of Nigel McGuiness' commentary is him going "OOHHHHHHH" when someone hits a big move.
Steve Corino wins it for his team. I have never actually seen Steve Corino wrestle before. He is a bit flabby now (maybe he was always), but he seems like 15 times better than most everyone on the roster I have seen.
- Guardians of Truth come out and start beating on Corino and Jacobs. They have the most generic tights, and generic black masks on. Waste of Headbangers if it is truly them. Steen comes out to save his buddies. Rhino comes out and kills Steen with a Gore. Rhino still does my favorite Spear/Gore. Truth Martini (who was out on commentary during that match) celebrates with his guys.
- Adam Cole, the TV champ, with a promo. Talking about having to face Michael Elgin next week, and Mike Mondo at the PPV. He speeds through his promo, and sounds too much like... I dunno... someone trying to cut a promo, instead of a genuine person.
- Rhino with a promo where he yells at the top of his lungs a lot. Comes off as crazy, but I feel his time would be better spent destroying people in the ring with Gores so he looks like a Beast and a serious threat.
- Mini promo from Briscoe Brothers. These guys are kind of great. They definitely shouldn't be stuck in this suck-shack. Unless they are really terrible in the ring or something. I've just seen them talk.
- Little video package for Jay Lethal (30 secs or less). Was actually good. Said he spent six years somewhere else, trying to be someone else. Now he is back to prove he is one of the best wrestlers in the world. Would be good if he actually had a PPV match.
- Matt Taven vs Jay Lethal now. Matt Taven seems to at least have some sort of gimmick. Some sort of 90s MTV gimmick, maybe. I dunno. Lethal takes the mic, says he had a conversation with Cornette. He recaps the conversation, basically Cornette thinks he isn't "mean" enough to beat Kevin Steen. Probably going to now beat the crap outta this Taven guy.
Ok. He kicked Taven in the groin during their handshake, and then killed the referee. "Heel turn" so he can face the heel champion down the line. Fans chant "Yes". He probably could have "proved" more by ruthlessly beating the dude in an actual match, but ok. Whatever.
- Promo from the tag team of C&C backstage. Apparently they have some sort of religious gimmick. One of them talks about having a "higher power" on their side. The other starts to sing in a "gospel" style. All around terrible.
- Recap package about Rhett Titus/Haas. I am pretty sure they are using the background music from "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?" in this pack. Haas and Titus both with some words in the promo. Still makes me wonder why Titus would ever have accepted the deal.
- Titus and Haas beat the Guardians of Truth in a bland match. Haas spends most of the match on the apron, but seemed to be more of a team player than Titus. Corino and Jacobs come out and attack the Guardians of Truth and brawl to end the show as Kevin Kelly yells "WE'RE ALL OUTTA TIME". I guess Heel on Heel action is the way Wrestling Hipsters like it.
Ugh.
Ugh.
I was bored when I started to watch this... began to regret it like two minutes into the first match. Stuck it out because I figured "I might as well just watch the rest".... and now I feel like I want to build a time machine and stop myself from starting.
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