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JBL: Ah've been sayin' fer weeks that Ah'm a great American. And tonight, in mah match with Eddie Guerrero, Ah'm gonna introduce the world to ANOTHER great American.
Later, during the match
COLE: Eddie's going up top!
TAZZ: He's feelin' froggy, Cole!
COLE: He's--WAIT A MINUTE!
TAZZ: Is that--?
COLE: It is! John Kerry just pushed Eddie Guerrero off the top rope!
TAZZ: Clothesline From Hell!
COLE: John Bradshaw Layfield is the new WWE Champion!
TAZZ: And Kerry has just joined the Republican Party!
COLE: That son of a bitch! Why? Why, Senator Kerry? Why?
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