LILIAN: That's right, folks, Ortonbot V2.0 is the perfect addition to ANY New Year's party! His bent right arm is perfect for cradling dip.
Steiner and RVD show how Peter Jackson did that whole "forced perspective" thing for the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy.
The look on Steiner's face says it all. This diving headbutt was
not going to end well.
With Coach backing him up on the human beatbox, Vince busted out some phat rhymes. Somewhere, John Cena wept.
BUBBA: Did you break out of prison?
RIC: No, no, no. Look at the stripes. Horizontal means prisoner, vertical means referee!
BUBBA: Whoops, then sorry I called the cops on you.
With the heat on, Flair managed a pretty speedy escape for an old guy.
BATISTA: No! Throw the grapes in his MOUTH, ya freakin' moron!
Terri reacts to Trish's beautiful man-voice.
REF: Watch yourself, Shaniqua. You may have escaped from SmackDown, but Triple H will NEVER let you go over his boy.
Randy Orton: Master of 1,000 Impressions strikes again. His Jack Nicholson was always a hit.
Booker T shows the ill effects of having had his lip disced.
Kane had impeccable aim. When he spiked people, they ALWAYS hit the WWE logo.
Linda's
a cappella operatic aria was met with slightly less enthusiasm.
Y2J: Okay, here's the
clears throat special present.
TRISH: Ooh! Does this one vibrate?
Y2J: Shhhhhhh!
Molly had made her decision. To become the most popular diva on RAW, she'd have to hit the others where it hurts. She begins by devouring Stacy's legs.
Victoria thinks it's gross, but Jackie gets a sick pleasure out of it. Of course, she also hangs out with Rico, so...
Lita looks up in embarassment. When did that crowd show up?
Molly next tried to move on to Trish's breasts, but they just overpowered her.
Take a guess where those white stains on Trish's clothes came from...
Shawn looked up just in time to see a familiar transparent object starting to lower itself from the ceiling.
He tried everything to hold it up.
But only one could rise above it.
When the glass ceiling mysteriously raised itself back up, Triple H knew that he would have to take out Michaels the old-fashioned way. If Steve Blackman was, in fact, back, he would have to take out the threat at hand first.
That Triple H is so nice. He takes time out of his matches to help old men cross the ring.
EARL: That's right. Now, Hunter, I want you to turn to the camera and lick your lips. Got it? Beautiful.
To round out WWE Authority Figures Open Mic Night, Eric Bischoff stuns the crowd with a pitch-perfect rendition of "Let's Hear It For The Boy."
BISCHOFF: So, wait, let me see if I got this straight. The black sheep had THREE bags?
MICHAELS: That's right.
BISCHOFF: What the hell did the little boy who lives down the lane do to deserve a bag of wool?
If you play this replay backwards, you get a subliminal message. On an unrelated topic, I just enlisted in the Army.
Once again, sitting at home, loopydate begs Kane to come out and set off his pyro.
AUSTIN: Where's DX? I got something to drop on their bus!
JR: Bah Gawd!
KING: It's not 2000 anymore...