Hello all, I just had my first landmark post on tpww (100th post, YAY! *claps*)
so I figured I should do something special. Here it is, a little scenario I'd like to call...
THE TRAGIC FATE OF RANDY ORTONTM
*HHH is sitting backstage on a couch in his dressing room, along with Vince McMahon. Jim Ross is sitting in the corner, salivating over a book, "1001 Easy Ways To Grill With Bacon".*
JR: "Oh yeah.... that's it right there baby...."
Vince: "So then, I says to him "Sure, Bret, We can have a double run-in finish!"
*They all laugh heartily*
*Randy Orton enters wearing The Rock's sunglasses, one of La Resistance's flag robes, & the old Harlem Heat tights with the iron ring in the center.*
Vince: "Where the f#*@ did you find that all that crap?"
Randy: "I figured I needed some new ring gear, an' all this cool stuff was just lying around the locker rooms! I'm gonna REALLY get over now, right, Jean-Pierre?
Hunter: "DAMMIT-RANDY-HOW-MANY-TIMES-HAVE-I-TOLD-YOU-NOT-TO-CALL-ME-THAT! DIDN'T-ANYONE-TELL-YOU-WHAT-I-LIKE-TO-BE-CALLED-UHH?"
Randy: "I'm sorry, Daddy."
Hunter: *mumbles*
"YOU-BET-YOUR-SWEET-ASS-UHH!"
JR: "Is there anything we can help you with, son?"
Randy: "Actually, I was thinking about something... I have an idea for the "Legend Killer" gimmick!"
Vince: "That's great, I always like it when my boys give me input for their characters!"
*Chris Jericho sticks his head in the door, startling all 4 of them. He has a distressed look on his face.*
Jericho: “Vince, I
reeeeaaaaaly need to talk to you…”
*Orton, HHH, Vince & JR all glare at Jericho, who is getting visibly upset*
Vince: “I’m sorry, but as you can see I’m busy at the moment… Can this wait?”
Jericho: “This’ll only take a second. Um… Are you absolutely sure this new angle is right for me? I mean, I think I was doing ok in my program with Christian.”
*There's indistinct yelling for Jericho from the hallway. He is almost in tears now.*
Vince: “Chris, I don’t want to hear any more about this. The crowds just aren’t responding to you the way they used to!" *The calling gets closer*
Jericho: “But, Vince…”
Hunter: “DAMMIT-JERICHO-DO-WHAT-YOU’RE-TOLD-UHH!”
*Vince shouts into the hallway “HE’S DOWN HERE!”
*The Basham Brothers run down the hallway full force. They tackle & handcuff Jericho, stuffing a ballgag in his mouth as he struggles in vain to escape.*
Vince: “With Shaniqua gone, I really need you to run with the ball on this one! If you do well, there might be another Undisputed Title run down the road for you!”
*Jericho stops thrashing for a few moments, thinking about what Vince has just said. A look of complete, anadulterated horror slowly comes over his face, and he begins throwing a fit twice as violent as the first. He is dragged away by The Bashams, kicking & screaming.*
Vince: *turning back to Randy Orton* “Now, what was it you were say before we were interrupted?”
Randy: “Yeah, what was I talking about?”
JR: “You were getting ready to tell us the idea you had for your gimmick.”
Randy: “Yeah, that’s right. Like I was sayin’, I think I should kill another big legend in order ta' really cement my over-ness!”
*HHH & JR roll their eyes*
Vince: "OOOOOOOHHHHH I like that idea! Just name them, & I'll have them working for me next week! Who'll it be? Sting? Ultimo Dragon?"
*JR walks over to Vince & whispers in his ear*
Vince: "You mean that guy with the cape, or the other guy with the cape?"
JR: "I think you're thinking of The Hurricane & Rosey."
Randy: "Never mind that. Just let me ask, who's done the most in his lifetime for Pro Wrestling?"
Vince: "GRAN HAMADA! Don't you worry Champ, I'll get right on the phone & set it up. He owes me one for those clean urine samples, so it'll be an easy deal. As a matter of fact, I've heard he has a daughter that's of legal age, & we need somebody to fill that spot in the Playboy-Evening-Gown-Lingerie-Chocolate-Pudding-Battle Royale..."
Randy: "Actually, I had another legend in mind..."
*Orton looks HHH from head to foot several times"
*Vince, HHH, & JR all give Orton a look of utter shock. The three quickly form a huddle in the corner, shooting occasional glances at the young superstar.*
Randy: "Guys? Ummm, guys, what's goin' on?"
*Later that week, on Velocity*
Randy: "Darnit, this iron ring is really starting to chafe!" *He recieves a particularly stiff dropkick from Shannon Moore* OW!..."
FIN