Renee's Riverdance routine was so amazing it swept RVD right off his feet.
RVD was well on his way to an amazing split-legged moonsault until the glass ceiling gave him the most violent crotching in WWE history.
When fellow WWE wrestlers got wind of Bradshaw's impending victory, their brains spontaneously combusted from the lack of logic.
There was something quite disturbing about ripping a person's heart out as you fucked him.
Booker's horrendous Running Man routine was enough to knock his remaining two opponents out.
The new NAACP version of Forrest Gump was received with mild praise.
Faced with an impending pinfall, Booker knew there was only one way to possibly escape losing: Rub Cena's hair.
Despite having a banner sticking out the side of his head, Cena was still man enough to interact with the fans before seeking medical attention.
Shocked that Brock Lesnar had returned to the WWE, the referee spasmed out of existence.
Test (at home): "Sonofabitch!"
Tired of Rey stealing all the attention with his superhero masks, Chavo decides to websling himself over the crowd and out of the arena.
Rey Mysterio: yet another victim of Kevin Kool-Aid.
As Chavo worked feverishly to remove the Rhyno-tampered boots, Rey Mysterio couldn't help but wonder what referee Charles Robinson had eaten to allow him to shine light out of his ass.
Moments after this picture is taken, Chavo is once again sent to the Time Out Chair for botching the Brock Lock.
In the Escher moment of the night, Rey was able to lay on the far side of the ring apron and grab the near top rope while touching the far left ring turnbuckle with his feet.
That's Rey for ya... always holding the Cruiserweight down.
Rey: "So THIS is where the cream filling has been!!! I'm gonna ta-- ewwwww!!"
Rey was well aware Vince treated the CW division like dogs, but when he started doing it literally, that was the last straw.
Torrie: "Oooh, Funaki, are you checking out my ass? Teehee!"
Funaki: "Yeah, I figure that's where your acting skills come from..."
Even though he was in the middle of a match, Billy Gunn couldn't resist calling for a martini--shaken, not stirred.
Kenzo smiles as he watches the effects after Billy eats some of his "Special Candy."
In the Loose Cannon Markout Moment of the Night, moments after this shot was taken, Billy Gunn unleashed a vicious RKO to pick up the victory.
Torrie does what she usually does when she has to wrestle or act well: choke.
Charles Robinson found Sable's new Self Love Enforcer gimmick strangely arousing.
You know Torrie's getting a little vain when she uses a ref's head as an arm rest in the middle of a match.
Sable was crushed when she found out Lita had fucked Kane before her.
Knowing this would take a while, the ref decided to take a nap until Sable actually got Torrie's shoulders pinned before starting the three count.
Torrie was rather upset when she finally figured out a quarterback wasn't change.
Billy: "Hey, c'mon! *punch* Can't ya just lemme *punch* pass? *punch* Pleeeeeeease??? *twack*"
When Billy has a wardrobe malfunction, Mordecai the Elevating Censor steps in the make the save... in one direction at least.
"Thank goodness I'm not a WWE champion before a Bull Rope Match right now!"
Fans were horrified as Bradshaw began carrying out his extermination plan "of all inferior peoples, one person at a time."
Fans were shocked when Eddie kidnaped Rapunzel and dragged her around the ring.
Bradshaw found out the hard way why you don't swallow
Stephanie's cream filling.
The WWE Genetics Lab outdoes itself again when it fuses Bradshaw to a two-tailed monkey version of Eddie Guerrero.
With one powerful thrust, Eddie Guerrero smacks Bradshaw's head off of his neck. Internet fans everywhere rejoice.
More to come later... I gotta get back to work.