To continue: ....
The match begins after the comercial break. Kane starts out with some quick punches to Matt, leading to a sidewalk slam. Matt eventually fights back with some quick offense that leads to a side effect. The two are down on the matt. Both struggle to their respective corners. Kane tags Christian in, and christian runs across the ring to attack Matt, but it's too late! Matt tags in Lita....
This is the point where I strangely become stricken with a need to drain the lizard. I jump up to run to the bathroom. SMACK! I plaster the door with my face....damn. It's starting to get dark, especially with that storm moving in. I open the door and run to the bathroom. "SHIT!" with the power out, the water pump isn't working. That means the toilet isn't working. Thank god for the country. I take off for outside and take a leak knowing that nobody can see me with cornfields surrounding my back yard. Lightning fills the sky, so I quickly finish and return to my room to finish watching the match. When I get back, Lita's laying on a stretcher. Either this is an angle to show that Kane beat her up despite her being pregnant, or she botched a move. At this point I'm guessing the latter. Matt tries to play it off, but I ain't buying it. Kane and Christian return backstage to celebrate, and matt returns to his "dressing room" underneath the ring.
JR: "Wow, folks, what an amazing match!..."
Me: "Psh!"
JR: Coming up next, it's the Hurricane vs. Batista in a squash match!..er...I mean, there's a chance that the Hurricane could win this one! It's next!
Commercial break.
When we return, a segment is playing with the Coach doing the 250,000 dinar (er....dollar
) diva challenge. This week he's checking out the babes of Eastern Europe. Needless to say, this segment is filled with unnecessary body hair and an uncanny lack of deoderant. Coach looks disgusted several times and only lets one girl go to New York (because he can't leave until he picks one.)
JR: King would say those are some "hot puppies."
Al Snow walks up and takes King's seat.
Snow: "Hey, they told me to commentate....so here I am."
JR: Do you talk about puppies?
Snow: No. I can't give you any puppies talk, but I can tell you about Head.
JR: I don't think I want you to give me Head talk, just like I doubt you'd like me to give you Head talk.
Snow: Well, now that you mention it, JR.......
Batista's music hits, and Batista walks down to the ring. Hurricane is waiting for him. Batista enters the ring, powerbombs Hurricane, pins him, and leaves.
Next, a backstage segment is shown with Eugene in Eric's office. Eugene has a finger lodged a good distance up his nose. William Regal enters the room.
Regal: Eugene, my boy, we need to talk. You see, your uncle Eric told me that babysitting you would get me my job back as a wrestler.
Eugene gets a euphoric look on his face as he continues to dig.
Regal: ...and I know that you know how addicting wrestling is. It's your entire life, and it's my entire life too.
Eugene's face suddenly shows an expression of suprise.
Regal: ANd I didn't know what a charming young lad you were at the time....
Eugene rips his finger from his nose and looks delighted at it.
Eugene: I got it! I got it!
Regal: You've got what, lad?
Eugene: The boogie! I got it!
A trail of blood begins to run from Eugene's nose to his chin. At that precise moment, Benoit enters to appologise to Eugene. He's holding a large tickle-me-Elmo. Benoit sees Regal and Eugene, and notices the blood on Eugene's face. Eugene, seeing Benoit flinches in fear of the man who hit him with the steel chair.
Benoit (to Regal): YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!
Benoit drops the Elmo onto a chair and dashes across the room. The camera faces the Elmo in dramatic fashion as the sound of furniture smashing and Regal screaming in pain fill the background. The tickle-me-elmo begins to laugh and jiggle as the room becomes silent. Benoit's voice is heard as he mutters, "Oh my god....."
Fade to commercial.