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Originally Posted by Doink
funaki on SD & val venus on raw (not my fav's but just interested to see how they'd win)
BTW the eugine one is quality LMAO as i can see this actually happening
(You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to big_bluto again)
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Funaki
Funaki should challenge for the US Title.
What happens is Funaki cuts a promo about how he's been beaten by everyone who's ever worked for the WWE and some kids outside buying ice-cream and he's had enough. He's tougher than Spike Dudley, he's smarter than the average bear, and he's got everyone's moves figured.
Then he goes on to show that he's got a counter for every move that every wrestler makes. He still gets the crap beaten out of him, but no-one can deliver a finisher on him. He manages to scrape wins by confusing his opponents and then landing tornado DDT's and then hitting them with a microphone. Eventually he enters into a tournament to see who should get the potentially vacant US Title and wins it.
The following week he gets beaten by John Cena, who has finally discarded the FU and has a decent finishing maneuver that Funaki can't combat.
Val Venis
Val Venis should challenge for the Intercontinental Title
He issues a challenge to Randy Orton, along the lines of 'come and get me - I'm a legend'. Orton replies 'You're no legend' and Venis replies 'Of course I am - I fucked your mom.'
Orton gets pissed, accepts the challenge and Val Venis and Orton go at it.
Despite Venis's extensive experience, Orton delivers a blistering RKO, but before he can go for the pin, a video appears on the Titan-Tron of Val Venis and Orton's mom starring in a porno.
Orton drops to his knees with his jaw hanging in shock, and up jumps Venis and makes Orton tap out by submission, from Val Venis's new submission finisher, 'The Deep Throat'.
Anyway, Val Venis wins the IC title, and the following week Evolution come out and beat him up and Orton gets the strap back.
Incidentally, Flair and HHH both quietly commented to Venis that they each thought Orton's mom was great in the sack, and Batista thought that Cowboy Bob rode like a bull.