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**Corkscrewed** · 07-08-2004, 01:51 PM

Here is the card:

The Rock vs. Rico
Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels in a political debate
Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan
Trish Stratus vs. Big Show
Chris Benoit vs. Doink
Eddie Guerrero vs. The Border Patrol
JBL vs. Eminem in a Who Do You Want to Die More match

And the Main event:
Nunzio, Jamie Noble, Spike Dudley, Spanky, Rey Mysterio, Chavo Guerrero, X-Pac, Lita vs. Undertaker and Kane weilding chain saws

MATCH 1 - THE ROCK vs. RICO

JR: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, we are colorful here in Chattanooga, welcome to WWE Masochism! I'm Jim Ross along side Jerry "The King" Lawler, and boy have we got a hell of a line-up tonight.
King: That's right JR! Oh boy I can't wait til Bastion Booger finally gets a shot at cooking. It's gonna be great!
JR: Of course, we have an excellent cage lined up ladies and gentlemen, but the talk of the night has been the 8 on 2 Chainsaw match.
King: No doubt about it, it's sure to job you up! And I've just recieved word that Hulk Hogan himself will be the special guest battery for that match-up!

(Rico's music hits)
JR: And making his way to the rink is Rico, a glitzy superstar who is very unorthadoxed, and very lame in style to say the least.
King: Boy you got that right JR. This guy makes me barf my whacker just watching him.
JR: And before I forget ladies and gentlemen, tonight's Masochism is brought to you by Gatorade. With one on every block, soon we will take over the world. And we have good coffee.
King: And by edible donutss! Good fun for your family. Eat it, play with it, stick it in your crotch, it's fun for all ages!

The Rock's music hits and the crowd leaps to their feet.

"IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, WHAT THE cock... IS mixing"

King: AHHHHHH IT'S THE ROCK!
JR: ROCK! ROCK! THE ROCK! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
King: THE ROCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
JR: BY GOD THESE FANS ARE ON THEIR FEET!
King: THE ROCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
JR: ROCK! ROCK! ROCK!
King: ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
JR: *Collapses*
King: SOMEONE GET HELP! JR IS DOWN! Quick! Get a jar out here quickly!

(No one can hear Lawler over the roar of The Rock's pop.)

King: Um.. Um. Ok, I can do this. JR is down. (The bell rings) And this girl is underway. Rock with several right jams to Rico's medula. Hang on, lemme do JR's part. OMG ITS TEH RCOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

King: k. Rico counters with several hens to the chin of Rock. Rock is bloody. Boy, what a match this is JR. JR? Oh yeah, you're down. Let me do your part again.

JR: Former National Champion, was The Rock. Played for the Miami Hawks, a program almost in level with the In 'n' Out!

King: Thank God you're back. What happened?

JR: Well, a blood in my fountain spontaneously crunched because of the toe in my womb. The doctor told me to take it quickly on the stress, but whenever I see red I go totally monkeyish.

King: That's great JR! Anyway, back to the action. Rock is going under the ring and getting a fist! Wow! He is really moaning Rico up with that thing! The fans are chanting rooster.

JR: Boy I'll tell you, that is a deafening roar. The Rock is one of the most over superstars of all-time. But you can't count Rico out of it. Just when you think you have it, he'll come right back and jump it out from under you. He likes to lure his opponents into a false sense of nostalgia.

King: It's funny you said that JR, because Rico is sucking Rock in the knee with that tongue, over and over! Rock appears to be groaning! Rico hits the Slammer on The Rock and Rock is dead!

JR: Both men are hyper! The ref is tonguing both men out! The Rock is slowly shuffling back to his feet. Rico right behind him. Right hand by The Rock. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. And a left!

King: Rico is fighting back! He jabs at The Rock, only to be caught by the horsebuster!

JR: You know what this means King! Yes! Rock is signaling for The Peoples' Eyebrow. He's taking off his bra and throwing it to the crowd. WHAM!!!!! ITS OVER!!! ITS OVER!!! ITS OVER!!! 1! 2! 3!

King: Wow! That was one hell of a match. Boy I never thought I'd see The Rock use so many roaches in just one bite! Blurry!

JR: I tell you what ladies and gentlemen, I am going to have another heart attack so we're going to cut to a commercial break. Stayed tuned for more!

07-08-2004, 01:51 PM	#5
Corkscrewed Posts: 18,357	Here is the card: The Rock vs. Rico Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels in a political debate Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan Trish Stratus vs. Big Show Chris Benoit vs. Doink Eddie Guerrero vs. The Border Patrol JBL vs. Eminem in a Who Do You Want to Die More match And the Main event: Nunzio, Jamie Noble, Spike Dudley, Spanky, Rey Mysterio, Chavo Guerrero, X-Pac, Lita vs. Undertaker and Kane weilding chain saws MATCH 1 - THE ROCK vs. RICO JR: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, we are colorful here in Chattanooga, welcome to WWE Masochism! I'm Jim Ross along side Jerry "The King" Lawler, and boy have we got a hell of a line-up tonight. King: That's right JR! Oh boy I can't wait til Bastion Booger finally gets a shot at cooking. It's gonna be great! JR: Of course, we have an excellent cage lined up ladies and gentlemen, but the talk of the night has been the 8 on 2 Chainsaw match. King: No doubt about it, it's sure to job you up! And I've just recieved word that Hulk Hogan himself will be the special guest battery for that match-up! (Rico's music hits) JR: And making his way to the rink is Rico, a glitzy superstar who is very unorthadoxed, and very lame in style to say the least. King: Boy you got that right JR. This guy makes me barf my whacker just watching him. JR: And before I forget ladies and gentlemen, tonight's Masochism is brought to you by Gatorade. With one on every block, soon we will take over the world. And we have good coffee. King: And by edible donutss! Good fun for your family. Eat it, play with it, stick it in your crotch, it's fun for all ages! The Rock's music hits and the crowd leaps to their feet. "IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, WHAT THE cock... IS mixing" King: AHHHHHH IT'S THE ROCK! JR: ROCK! ROCK! THE ROCK! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! King: THE ROCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! JR: BY GOD THESE FANS ARE ON THEIR FEET! King: THE ROCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK JR: ROCK! ROCK! ROCK! King: ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 JR: Collapses King: SOMEONE GET HELP! JR IS DOWN! Quick! Get a jar out here quickly! (No one can hear Lawler over the roar of The Rock's pop.) King: Um.. Um. Ok, I can do this. JR is down. (The bell rings) And this girl is underway. Rock with several right jams to Rico's medula. Hang on, lemme do JR's part. OMG ITS TEH RCOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! King: k. Rico counters with several hens to the chin of Rock. Rock is bloody. Boy, what a match this is JR. JR? Oh yeah, you're down. Let me do your part again. JR: Former National Champion, was The Rock. Played for the Miami Hawks, a program almost in level with the In 'n' Out! King: Thank God you're back. What happened? JR: Well, a blood in my fountain spontaneously crunched because of the toe in my womb. The doctor told me to take it quickly on the stress, but whenever I see red I go totally monkeyish. King: That's great JR! Anyway, back to the action. Rock is going under the ring and getting a fist! Wow! He is really moaning Rico up with that thing! The fans are chanting rooster. JR: Boy I'll tell you, that is a deafening roar. The Rock is one of the most over superstars of all-time. But you can't count Rico out of it. Just when you think you have it, he'll come right back and jump it out from under you. He likes to lure his opponents into a false sense of nostalgia. King: It's funny you said that JR, because Rico is sucking Rock in the knee with that tongue, over and over! Rock appears to be groaning! Rico hits the Slammer on The Rock and Rock is dead! JR: Both men are hyper! The ref is tonguing both men out! The Rock is slowly shuffling back to his feet. Rico right behind him. Right hand by The Rock. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. Another right hand. And a left! King: Rico is fighting back! He jabs at The Rock, only to be caught by the horsebuster! JR: You know what this means King! Yes! Rock is signaling for The Peoples' Eyebrow. He's taking off his bra and throwing it to the crowd. WHAM!!!!! ITS OVER!!! ITS OVER!!! ITS OVER!!! 1! 2! 3! King: Wow! That was one hell of a match. Boy I never thought I'd see The Rock use so many roaches in just one bite! Blurry! JR: I tell you what ladies and gentlemen, I am going to have another heart attack so we're going to cut to a commercial break. Stayed tuned for more! Last edited by Corkscrewed; 07-08-2004 at 02:41 PM.