(continued)
Benoit: "Pikachu!"
Eugene: "Charmander!"
Benoit: "Pikachu!"
Eugene: "Charmander!"
Triple H: "Jigglypuff!!"
Benoit and Eugene: "WTF?!"
El Santo:
Tired of being stuck in crappy storylines, Kane unsuccessfully tries to hide under the stairs.
And the day was saved when it started raining giant Legos.
God: "Hey, just got back from the restroom, what did I miss?... Crap, Loose Cannon's gonna kill me."
Raising Kane:
Flair hated napping with La Resistance. They never stayed on their own side of the ring and always ended up kicking someone in the nuts.
How many wrestlers does it take to open a folding chair? Three. Two holding the chair and one to dive head-first into the seat.
Shaggy:
Kane: Do I have to signal this out for you. Lets....get...a...bunny.
Mayo:
Conway had to sit back and watch Eugene's brilliant moonwalk.
Benoit: Haha, I avoided the crucifix all night and still beat Hunter. Hey, what does this little button on the belt do?
*Benoit disintigrates in front of the entire audience*
HHH: I love it when a backup plan comes together.
Vastardikai:
Batista: This bending thing is cool, what's it called?
Ref: A knee.
RAW [7-12-2004]
Corkscrewed
Chris knew he should have fallen for Dave's "check my kneepads" routine.
Eugene regretted running into HHH's nose.
JR: "Rock Bottom!!!"
King: "Whoa! You actually got a move right!"
JR: "What? Oh, I mean BAW GAWD STUNNER!!!!"
asphyXy:
"Hello. I am the hottest woman alive."
Always450:
“Five time… You can’t see me… Five time… You can’t see me… It’s the same damn thing!”
Edge “successfully” pulls off the “LitaBomb.”
Ric: And then Doc Ock does thi----
Hurricane: SHUT UP! I HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET!!!
Eugene knew it was all a set up when Vince came to the ring, yelling “RING THE BELL! RING THE BELL!”
Chris: OWWWIE! You mean THIS is what I’ve been doing to people? This fuggin’ HURTS!!!!
El Santo:
Kane: "So, you know... I mean, if you're in the mood, could you, um, lie down in a coffin and hold your breath for about ten min-... what?"
Mayo:
This is what RVD saw watching on a tv backstage.
Eugene could try as he might, but he would never do the Tickler like Dupree.
SmackDOWN! [7-15-2004]
Corkscrewed:
After about five minutes stuck in that position JBL figured maybe he should have gone to Sean's final lecture of cage escape.
Always450:
Cena: WHAT!!! YOU MEAN AFTER ALL THIS TIME YOU REALLY COULD SEE ME!?!?!?!
Kurt: It was just your hand…
EXTREME PROCTOLOGY!!!!
Nowhere Man:
Rey really would have liked to finish the match, but unfortunately, the rest of the Justice League was calling for him.
Bubba and Noble use visual aids to interpret the handling of WWE's Cruiser Division.
The Playa:
Eddie: Dammit Vince, I am not Sean
Security: Ok folks, you can relax Sean is back in the cage
Eddie: Damn you people
RAW [7-19-2004]
Corkscrewed:
Hurricane was beyond grateful when RC Cola Man came to his rescue.
Dave: "Whooooooooo!!! Yeah!!! Oh yeah! Ride me! Ride me Randy boy!!!"
Chris: "Um... I'm Chris, not Randy. And we're in the middle of the ring, not backstage."
Dave: "...awkward."
Skydiving was fun, but Benoit still needed to work on his landing skills.
Dave: "And don't you EVER say Jigglypuff sucks again!!!"
Things went to hell when Edge tried a Lita Nelson.
(bad Japanese dubbing voice) "Ha-HA! I have defeated the evil villain and retained my prized belt, and my hair is still silky and smooth!"
Rock Bottom:
Helms was proud to introduce his new sidekick, the Whorricane!
When Triple H told Batista to make sure Benoit was in no condition to win their match next week, Batista did the smartest thing possible... He tied Earl Hebner to the Canadian champ.
Lita knew she found her true love when Matt Hardy botched fondling her tits.
Double Dragon Jimmy Lee had suffered the wrath of Aboabo.
USA retaliated against the Middle East by producing the first ever Weapons of Mass Erection.
Ref: Look Randy, I'm going to explain this to you one more time. Sometimes worthless people who will never draw any money will get the title too. It's part of the business.
Randy: Wait, but how can a jobber like that go over ME!
Ref: *Sigh* Look Randy, I'm going to explain this to you one more time. Sometimes worthless people who will never draw any money will get the title too. It's part of the business.
Randy: Yeah, but how in the hell is Edge going to go over Randy Orton?
Ref: Look Randy... Hey, is that a My Little Pony?
Authorities say that Loose Cannon was seen fleeing the scene with a tire-iron wrapped in barbed wire. More to come as this story develops.
El Santo:
I knew that women in the WWE were passed around like currency ... but this is ridiculous.
Jericho: "Wait a minute. Hair vs. hair match? That's not fair?"
Writer: "Alright, Chris, we talked to Dave, and we've decided to put you back in the rotation. You have to job to the following divas."
Jericho: "I have to job ten times to skinny, untrained ... shapely, sexy women? ... I could live with that."
Writer: "No. We're going to have them all pile on you in a single rumble type match."
Jericho: "... better."
Raising Kane:
Trish: Our next item up for bid... a life size, anatomically correct Stacy mannequin. Who'll start the bidding?
Silence....
Trish: Come on people! Even I'm worth a dollar Canadian... Oh wait...