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Matt Hardy seemed like a breathe of normal in a land of giants. Well, he seemed like a normal-sized guy compared to the giants around him. And he always did quite well for himself and looked really proactive out there. I always thought of him as the better Hardy. It was clear Jeff was the more charismatic of the two, but I always did like those side players.
Looking back, it seemed like Raven was going to be the guy to win the European Title off Eddie Guerrero, and I hate that he didn't -- but at the time, I marked out pretty huge for Matt Hardy's win and, I think, one title defence against K-Kwik.
When The Hardys split and Matt turned heel, it sucked. But then they put them back together and I couldn't tell if they sucked or if early 2002 sucked. Then Mattitude came along and something there worked. He was a fireball of personality all of a sudden. Many would say the gimmick had a roof, but like John Cena's Dr. of Thuganomics persona, it was at least heating him up. Then he got moved to RAW, was used as a face without the quirks and we jump ahead a bit to the Edge/Lita stuff.
He was genuinely over in 2005. People wanted him back and with a vengeance. He comes out, shakes hands with Vince -- something that I think killed him dead and was intended to -- with the final death blow coming when Edge, not Hardy, was disqualified for kicking to much ass at SummerSlam that year.
It was hard to give a shit about Matt Hardy too much after this point, but it was around 2010 that I realized he and Christian were basically doing the same "We're those tag team guys from 2000 you remember -- please cheer us" gimmick that I realized just how little I gave a shit. It was gone. I wanted things to be rekindled, but everyone was pointing out how fat he was getting. "He's not getting that fat!" the child within in me would scream -- but yes...yes he was.
He would eventually leave. Maybe he would get to change things up on his own? Maybe he'd cut his hair, act his age (apparently a problem he had backstage after being signed to the company when he was 11), get some new pants and maybe "learn a new hold" as JR would say. He got dreads and Tyler Reks started trending on Twitter. He's no Liz Hurley either. To my understanding (I didn't watch much TNA and don't feel I need to explain why), Matt was just a grumbly heel that never did anything.
There was a pretty funny video to promote a match with Kevin Steen in ROH. And now we're here. With Broken Matt Hardy. Can we please talk about this for a bit?
You guys revisit history a lot, so your contemporary views don't get out there that much. I think that's very wise, because the amount of shit one catches for talking about how repulsive, disgusting, ineffective, offensive, obscene, obtrusive, how...how...obso-fucking-lete this atrocious piece of shit gimmick is baffles me, and makes me think that wrestling fans are a big part of the problems with modern wrestling, going beyond simple "This is awesome" chants. People like this shit.
"It's supposed to be bad."
"At least it's different."
"Chris Jericho likes it."
"It popped a rating once."
Yeah, TNA's ratings went up by, like, 10%. That just means Jeff's kids watched. "Uncle Matt is trying this week, kids." I even tried to watch it to see if maybe there was charm. Abyss or Crazzy Steve (I couldn't fucking tell because it was filmed so bad) fought with Jeff in a pool as Matt caught magic in his mouth. I was done. I was not fucking charmed. Liz Hurley in a bikini this was not.
Fuck Broken Matt. It is making me hate The Hardy Boys retroactively for filling these men's minds with the idea that they could do anything and it would be brilliant and catch on like Lita in a Mexican locker-room. The word "Mexican" is possibly obsolete there and should be deleted.
I honestly believe there is still money in Jeff. If he came back to the WWE, he'd get a pop, could have an eye kept on him, work a part-time schedule and move merchandise. Matt Hardy -- well, he'd get pops and could occasionally team with Jeff. There are people telling me they want to see Broken Matt in the WWE. They want to hear that accent cut promos on Bray Wyatt. And then they wonder why nobody fucking watches in 2016.
I don't like Lucha Underground, but it exists in its own universe as sort of a Mortal Kombat-style fighting game come to life. Glacier might have worked in Lucha Underground. But there's a reason Glacier didn't work in WCW, and there's a reason that Broken Matt and his backyard horseshit doesn't work in professional wrestling. Matt Hardy won't die, but fuck I wish TNA would.
I quite like Senor Benjamin on Twitter though.
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