[asphyXy]

R.I.P. Children of Bodom 1997-2004

"Trashed, Lost, and Strungout" has a few of those "hardcore" riffs and breakdowns. Alexi's solo is the most generic piece of shit I've ever heard. The only redeeming parts of the song is the melody before the verse [which wouldn't sound out of place on Follow the Reaper] and Janne's solo. The verse sounds exactly like the verse to the title track on Hate Crew Deathroll, though. The guitars are tuned down to somewhere around C. At some points, they don't even sound in tune. I don't know if it's because the version I have isn't CD quality, but it sounds like Alexi uses vocal effects.

Rating: 2/10

"Knuckleduster" is a fucking joke. Does anyone remember the verse of "The Quiet Place" by In Flames? [chugga chug] [some lyrics] [chugga chug] [more lyrics]. Why would Children of Bodom rip off the worst In Flames song of all time? Right from the start, it was nothing but un-COB. The solo is NOT Alexi. The keyboards are NOT Janne. I'm all for a band trying to sound different [as they have done with every album], but this is a step in the In Flames direction. Oh yeah, the keyboards are out of place. The thing is, the keyboards are EVERYWHERE.

Rating: Worst Children of Bodom song ever.

Someone contact me when Alexi decides to utilize his writing abilities again.

PS - Before anyone asks, this is not a joke. Children of Bodom's new EP is fucking terrible. I will not buy it. If their next album sounds anything like this EP, I will never attend a Children of Bodom concert again. The mighty continue to fall...