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Dateline, Post 3000:
Viewers of Spike TV were shocked last night when Raw aired it's 500th consecutive Raw Diva Search segment. After nearly ten years, the search appeared to be finally wrapping up, but in a swerve to the lovely ladies, World Heavyweight Champion Rosey announced that a new 16 divas would be enter the competition. It would have been the 127th time in the competition's history that such a swerve was announced.
Some notable happenings on the show:
Joy's newest son's latest paternaty test still shows no sign of a father. The WWE offered to give the tests to the men most likely to be the father until a true father was found, but no luck yet. Thus far, those tested were: Test, Shawn Michaels, HHH, Spike Dudley, Booker T, Eric Bischoff, Jazz, Earl Hebner, Hulk Hogan, Mark Henry, John Heidenrich, Eugene, Rene Dupree's dog Fifi, Al Wilson, and Sadam Hussein. Joy commented on the situation saying, "Carmella is a slut!"
Jonathan Coachman cut a promo with the ladies last night, but had to stop midway to sneeze. Because it's live television, the sneeze aired. Many internet fans are notably furious at Carmella for her lack of concern for Coach's plight, and rumor is spreading that the WWE has actually trained Carmella to act heelish because the contest is rigged for her to win sometime around year 15.
And in another attempt to stand out from the rest of the ladies, Christy (aka: the spunky redhead) shat and urinated in a glass jar, calling the concoction a "tequilla sunrise." She then drank the urine and swallowed the feces, which she called "the worm", and immediately vomited it back up and sat on it insisting that her "butt was hungry." After the show, an annonymous internet fan was noted to say, "God damn that's HOT! I'm gonna vote for her!"
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