[loopydate]

Not to be outdone by SmackDown's pet Belty, Eric went out and bought himself a bona fide show belt that he named Beltanium East of the Sun. ...or Belty II for short.



(Backstage, four months ago)
XIAN: Vince, my back hurts. Can I see Dr. Jho or Dr. Andrews?
VINCE: No! Those are only for main-eventers! I'm not made of money!
XIAN: No, but your pants are.
VINCE: Silence! We'll fix your back the old-fashioned way. Chris? Tyson?
TYSON: Oh, boy! I'ma be a chiropractor!



REF: Okay, foreigners who will get an inexplicable "USA" chant in their favor get over on this side...



Rhyno finds out what it feels like to get glue...down there.




The Passion of the Chris now available on DVD!



REF: Hey, Rob, check it out! This is the church...this is the steeple. Open the doors, and...dammit!



Yep. Even after discovering her Kryptonian roots, Lita botches heat vision.



TRISH: I don't know.
(Splash)
NIDIA: Oops...that was supposed to be green.



After Billy Gunn's "Crash Landing" finisher debuted on Velocity a few weeks back, Vince was looking for his next opportunity to rip off a cool TNA finisher. Unfortunately, Trish's "Slut Destroyer" wasn't quite right yet.



REF: Best! Limbo! EVER!



HHH: Um...Eric? You do know you have jizz antlers, right?



JINDRAK: Yes!
STAMBOLI: All right!
PALUMBO: Whoo-hoo!
O'HAIRE: Follow me, my brothers! Follow me...TO FREEDOM!



EUGENE: Uh...Uggle Erig? Dis izzud hepping by buddy dose.



Triple H vs. Eugene...in Diamondvision!



HHH: Dammit, Eugene! For the last time, you put your left hand in, then you shake it all about!



HHH: I'm melting! Meeeeeeeelting! Oh, my beautiful wickedness...



EDGE: ...and that's the last time I'll let Lita give me a foot massage.



LITA: Oh, I do not make that face!



CHRIS: Tyson! I'm...not...the one...with...back problems!



TYSON: "...and insert Tab U into Slot V." Wait... How come my Invisible Crucifix doesn't look like the one on the box?



Guess who's got a little Captain in him.



JBL: There ya go.
VINCE: Thanks, John.
JBL: No. Thank you.
VINCE: Have fun in your "match" with Eddie.
(Maniacal laughter)



REF: Um... Christy? Could you wait until after the contest to...enjoy Shelton's company?



Upon learning that the RAW Diva Search had been extended another week, wrestling fans committed the largest group projectile vomiting the world has ever seen.



RANDY: (thinking) ...from monkeys? Damn. Evolution is a mystery.



KANE: Oh, thanks, man. That mosquito bite has been driving me nuts all day!



HHH: Ha ha! Got your blood!
ORTON: Got...your title!
HHH:



This is Randy. Randy just got a big boost of confidence...



The answer to the question: "What is the opposite of the Golden Box of Buried Gimmicks?"