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Let’s reflect on Grand Slam last year and where we are a year later.
* Thunder Rosa defeated Kayla Sparks. I don’t know who or what a Kayla Sparks is. Thunder Rosa has since allegedly faked an injury to get out of the company.
* Paul Wight beat a bunch a nobodies in a handicap match. This year he’s going to be Captain Insano in a Battle Royal. Progress!
* The Dark Order were in a multi-man tag. They’re no better off in the company this year than they were last year, and Alan Angels isn’t with the company.
* Kenny Omega and Bryan Danielson had their match. Omega faked some injuries and disappeared, came back for a few weeks, then got suspended for being a cunt. Danielson was more special last year than he is this year as he heads into a title match.
* MJF is perpetually in that “he’s awesome but the company doesn’t know what to do with his space.” His issues this year are well known. No match confirmed. Brian Pillman, Jr. reportedly wants out of the company.
* Cody Rhodes and Malakai Black are both gone.
* Sting and Darby are in the exact same spot. They’re going to be on Rampage instead of Dynamite and facing a way less important team. So that can’t be called a win. FTR aren’t booked.
* Britt Baker is going for the Women’s Title in a four-way, but not the real women’s title. Ruby Soho doesn’t matter at all.
* CM Punk is out for punching cunts and possibly being a cunt himself.
* Will Hobbs is working Ricky Starks. It’s not CM Punk, but at least his program is getting time. Over the course of the past year, Hobbs has basically done nothing.
Alright, I can’t even keep going. Nothing matters.
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