[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Evil Vito AEW Rampage June 9, 2023 Last week's (real life) Rampage featured a quartet of championship matches featuring champions of AEW's partner promotions. It was probably one of the better Rampages in recent memory. So I figure, hell, let's double down and make it another Championship Friday!

I do occasionally like doing TV shows where I put a good chunk of, if not all, the titles on the line. In the game, there's really no consequence for it so why not? Plus, in real life, it'd make for a great special episode. Like to commemorate an anniversary or something. Of course, it makes something like Night of Champions redundant, but fuck it. It's my promotion and I will use any excuse to use more of my women on my show.

ROH Television Championship: Samoa Joe (C) vs. AR Fox Always a good time to see Samoa Joe in a wrestling ring, although his opponents would surely disagree with that. Fox tried his hardest here, but the size difference was evident as Joe killed him dead with a variety of suplexes before eventually locking him into the Coquina Clutch for the submission victory. After the bell, Joe's not done. He begins to stretch Fox in a variety of brutal locks and holds. A direct shot at IWGP Television Champion and submission expert Zack Sabre Jr. who last week challenged Joe to a Champion vs. Champion match at Forbidden Door. **3/4, 71% overall ---

I feel kind of bad that Joe has essentially ended up right back where he started after all these years. This motherfucker should be at the Performance Center stretching out new hires and weeding out all the pussies. He should be smashing all the pussies, too.

AEW Trios Championship: The House of Black (Malakai Black, Brody King, and Buddy Matthews) (C) vs. Action Andretti, Brian Pillman Jr. and Matt Sydal The House of Black are always quick to remind people that the door is always open for any three men who wish to step inside to their dark world to try to take the titles from them. Tonight the bell was answered by a makeshift trio of babyfaces trying to come in get their first taste of AEW gold. There was a styles clash in this one but in a good way, as the brawling and striking style of House of Black meshed pretty well with the speedster style of their opponents. But the House always wins, as Black puts away Pillman with a Black Mass to get the victory. ***, 71% overall ---

Still waiting for you to do that Pillman, Jr./Dustin angle I suggested a while back. The loss of Cody takes out some of what you could do but I think it still has legs, Twitter sheep be damned.

The Acclaimed promo As House of Black are in the ring, the rap music of The Acclaimed hit as the crowd get on their feet. The Acclaimed and Daddy Ass make their way out of the tunnel to big cheers, apparently making their intentions known that they want another shot at the Trios Titles after coming up just short at Double or Nothing. Max Caster: Last time we tangled, you might've had us beat, But this ain't no rerun, House, so take a seat. You three goths are looking oh so dark, But we're the Acclaimed, lighting up the charts. We might've lost the battle, but we'll win the war, House of Black, we're knocking on your door. Any day you want, any place, any weather, You can wish your titles the best in their future endeavors.

I want to smack him for rhyming 'dark' with 'charts', but managing to work in 'future endeavors' wins me back over.

Anthony Bowens: THE ACCLAIMED HAVE ARRIVED! And we're gonna take your titles. Now scissor me, Daddy Ass!

Oh, thank God for that picture. The phrase "scissor me" has a very different and immediate visual in my brain.

TBS Championship: Kris Statlander (C) vs. Diamante Still riding a high from ending Jade Cargill's 50-match undefeated streak at Double or Nothing, Statlander intends on being a fighting champion and tonight she faced a challenge from a game Diamante. The match was pretty similar to the others - good action but not great crowd reactions, which in fairness is par for the course for how Rampage is run in real life and how I'll be using it in game. Stat hits the Big Bang Theory for the victory. **3/4, 69% overall ---

Isn't Diamante a singer?



Yup, and a damn fine one, too. Very, very damn fine...

Anyways, I imagine Statlander and her juicy ass celebrated that streak-ending win like crazy. A big bang indeed....

AEW Collision hype video A video plays reminding everyone that we are just 8 days away from the debut episode of AEW Collision on the TNT Network. The episode will broadcast live from the United Center in Chicago, IL and will feature the AEW return of CM Punk! ---

Truth be told, I don't know what they're expecting to get from another show. This would be their third one, right?

AEW World Tag Team Championship: FTR (Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler) (C) vs. The Jericho Appreciation Society's "Cool Hand" Angelo Parker and "Daddy Magic" Matt Menard Bullet Club Gold stand on the rampway to watch this one, still smugly proud of themselves for their antics on Dynamite. Holy hell did this match ever deliver, which I guess is par for the course for FTR matches but these teams have hella chemistry together, to the tune of a 98% match quality. They had an absolute back and forth belter, even if the outcome was never fully in question. FTR put away Parker with the Big Rig to get the title retention, as FTR turn up the ramp and stare down Bullet Club Gold, daring them to come get them some. ****1/4, 84% overal

That is a pretty solid finish to the proceedings. Imagine sending the crowd home with a DUD match.