Nintendo is merely looking out for nerd's well being. See, if they offered their games online play, nerds would NEVER have to leave their house as they just play with people half across the world.
However, by keeping it offline it forces nerds to go out and find other nerds to play with. Thus getting them out of the house, with some much needed exercise, and giving them some semblance of a social life!
They saved my life in this manner. I salute them!
