Orton: We are now testing the Gravity Boots from the new Ratchet & Clank 3: Up Your Arsenel.
*Edge's doesn't move.*
Edge: F*CK YOU RHYNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Screw the Glass Ceiling, Triple H installed a talent vacuum. Even Earl Hebner was not immune.
Edge: Freeze!
*Orton stops mid-air.*
*Edge runs behind him.*
Edge: Go!
*Orton hits the mat.*
*Edge hits the Spear for three.*
JR: BAHGAWD! Orton was screwed here tonight! Stone Cold! Stone Cold! The Rattlesnake! Edge configured time and space! BAHGAWD! He should be disgusted with himself!
*Edge's new theme music hits.*
Edge (singing along): Tell me more, tell me more, tell me more......
OR
Maybe it would be better if I told where Steven Richards wasn't?
After another massive layoff of talent, Maven was forced to return to teaching. What he didn't know was that public schools were discouraging underage sex by showing the Chyna/X-Pac sex tape.
Eugene: What's that!?!
Maven: Oh God!
On a serious note for a second, does anyone else think that this photo captures more expression in the face of Lita than her entire WWE career so far? What........that's not Lita?
OR
Gene Snitsky: We are now testing the Disembodied Head of Doom from Ratchet & Clank 3: Up Your Arsenel.
OR
Christy Hemme was a lot less frisky after Gene Snitsky forced her to watch the entire two second blowoff to the Chyna/X-Pac feud.
OR
Gene Snitsky: C'mon! Sing it! Dah-dah...dah-dah-dah-dah-dah!
Christy Hemme (thinking): Why does he want me to voice the beat to "I Dream of Genie"? *Slight Pause* Oh God.
Satanic voice form the pits of Hell: I'm coming for my push, Gene.
Gene: Wait, what are those Satanic symbols appearing out of that unexplained rift in the ground spelling? I...I'm nose? Not. I'm not teaching you? Teaching you anything you don't already know? Oh, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. OH SH!T!!!!!!!! Who left the cage door open?
Christian: So Mick, how did you get your job back on RAW.
Mick Foley: By giving out a job, if you know what I mean. *Points to Eugene's area*
Eugene: I did that too! *Open's mouth*
Christian: Oh, oh, oh, that choice. I chose behind.
Tyson Tomko: Am I missing out on something here?
Mick Foley: You're a hoss, idiot.
Damn attendance was getting low. Foley is famous for his "Empty Arena" match, but c'mon.
OR
Mick Foley: Now you see Steven Richards' TV time, now you don't.
Fan: We never saw it anyway, isn't Stevie invisible?
The heat came flowing out when Khasrow Daivari walked to the ring with the remains of a man's leg, and Muhammad screamed "GET IN MA BELLY!"
OR
Muhammad Hassan did turn out to be a La Resistance clone.
Muhammad: Oh Ca-na-da!
OR
Khasrow (Thinking): Someone,
please shoot that man in the ass.
When Batista defeated Triple H for the World Heavyweight Championship, the world's natural law changed, and Batista now became the center of gravity.
OR
Ring Announcer: The winner......and your NEW World "Which is a Traingle?" Champion...............Dave...BATISTA!
OR
Earl Hebner: Now my work of crowning a new World Heavyweight Champion is complete, I am no longer needed on Earth.
*Earl Hebner suddenly shoots jets out of his feet and blast off out of the arena.*
Ring Announcer: Please welcome our NEW World Heavyweight Champion.
*A UFO lands in the arena and out steps Eric Bischoff.*
JR: BAHGAWD! I knew he was alien!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wrestling Headlines the Next Day: Vince Russo replaces Paul Heyman in writing team.
Everyone was just a little uncomfortable when Batista did a piss right there and then.