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Originally Posted by Nervous Ferret
Breakfast for #2
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It was a beatiful morning that day. Lita opened her pretty little eyes and popped her head out from under her covers. "Good bye!" she called to her phone, which laid motionless on her nightstand, probably in embarassment fearing that the other inanimate objects in the room would notice that it had been spoken to by the foul one...but it's more likely that it sat there motionlessly because it was an inanimate object.
As Lita began to crawl out of bed, she reached down and pulled a small flashlight shaped object from her pajamas. "Oh dear," she said, "I seemed to have fallen asleep with it on again. The batteries are all worn down."
She climbed out of bed and reached high, stretching all of her muscles before she began the day. *Thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump...*
"What's that noise?" Lita thought. She looked up and realized that her fingers were caught in the ceiling fan again. "That's the fourth time this week, and it's only Monday!" she exclaimed, "I bet I got up on the wrong side of the bed again."
After carefully bandaging up her fingers, she strolled down to the kitchen to make breakfast. But what to have? The Women's champ has to keep up her strength, so of course she ate the proper foods....you wouldn't think she'd botch that, would you?
"Oh, I've forgotten how to make it!" Lita said in frustration, "Where's my cookbook?" As lita searched for the cookbook that had the recipe for Lamnas Bread, she suddenly realized that Lamnas Bread isn't really a real sort of thing, and even if she did have a recipe, it's doubtful that a human could make it. For a moment, she pondered having sex with an Elf, but concluded that having an encounter with another supernatural being would only lead to another Gene Snitsky storyline. "No thank you." she said out loud and began to warm up the waffle maker.
After mixing the proper ingredients as recomended on the frozen waffle box, she oh-so-gently placed her face between the hot plates. After a moment, she jumped back in startlement. Her kitchen mirror revealed cross hatching burns on her face that suggested that she MIGHT have forgotten a step in the cooking process. She looked at the frozen waffle box again. "Place waffles in toaster?" she said to herself, "But the toaster hasn't worked since I tried to keep my toast moist by making it in the shower and the soggy toast wouldn't come out of the toaster so I had to dig it out with a fork......." The room was silent for an uncomfortably long moment as her eyes rolled back into her head. Then, just as quickly as it started, she shook it off.
"I think I'll just get some cereal....surreal....serial....um......" Just then she noticed her kitty was in the cereal box again, scratching away as usual. "Get out of there, kitty!" she yelled, weilding a broom. The cat ran away, and she scooped up a bowl full, poured some milk on it, and began eating. "Hmm" she said, lifting the cereal box off of the floor to examine it. "Where's the expiration date on this? It tastes a bit stale...."
And at that very moment, she noticed the VCR. It flashed 12:00 AM again and again. "Oh shit! Raw's started like 4 hours ago! I'm gonna be late! " and she threw on her things and ran out the door. The end.