(WRESTLEMANIA XX continued)
Loopydate:
Dave felt violated, but now Mick had an exact measurement.
Tajiri should have thought before he put the Flash in the Tarantula. A split-second after this picture was taken, Tajiri was plummeting headfirst to the floor.
Brock's frogsplash from the rafters was a pretty damned good way of making up for his botched Shooting Star Press from last year.
Kish never could get the hang of that split-legged moonsault dealie.
PATRICK: An' 'en I was all "POW!" An' he was all "OW!" An' she was all "My hero!" An' 'en, I was all "Yeah, wanna go have sex?" An' 'en she was all "I just met you!" An' 'en I was all "POW!"
PAUL: Damn you, Willy Wonka! Why didn't you tell me about Violet Beauregard before?!?
HHH (backstage): Oh, shit... The smarks have found me!
UNDERTAKER (reading): "Ha! Good luck getting this thing off. Love, Rhyno."
Shawn Michaels - Multitasker shows off his new gimmick by taking the Crippler Crossface AND beating Triple H in a Thumb War.
Spoonbender:
Cena was afraid, whoever 'Fabbri' was, he apparently 'ruled'. A title challenge was surly not far off!
Christian: This is for holding me back Edge!
Jericho: I'm not Edge!
Christian: Shut it Edge!
Jericho: I'M NOT EDGE!
Confused as to why The Rock got the part in Walking Tall instead of him, Mick tries to judge Rock's hight in relation to his own.
Goldberg: "Ain't no damn David Copperfield trick gonna save you, Brock! You're balls are mine!"
Unable to find the Undertaker, WWE bring back Cowboy Bob Orton and hope nobody notices.
Kane: "WOO! Oh shit!"
Beware. The dead man cometh for all those who steal Owen Hart's taunts.
RAW [3-15-2004]
Corkscrewed:
Yes, Victoria could be pretty cruel and relentless once she'd singled out a "You're a homo" target.
Referee Earl Hebner knew it was a bad idea to have Jericho wrestle Ichabod Crane.
Bubba's plot to cheat and win was foiled when he openly shook on the deal with Richards right in front of everyone.
Hebner: "I'm supposed to do what?"
Batista: "Rin... der.... beh..."
Hebner: "Dammit! THAT'S what I forgot to do yesterday!!!"
The celebration would have been complete had not Sean O'Haire decided to go sniper happy on another member of the kliq again.
Loopydate:
Victoria's new Harpy Scream finisher was found to have an unusual effect on her opponents.
RENE: No, seriously, Steve! This dog will lead you to beer!
ROB (under his breath): No way he'll believe that...
GRENIER (under his breath): He's not that stupid...
STEVE: Well? What're you waitin' for, ya beady-eyed little bastard?
JACKIE: Hold still. You're making this too hard!
STACY: *Gack!*
EARL: You don't braid people's hair often, do you, Jackie?
JACKIE: Why do you ask?
STACY: *Cough*
Yep. Vince has officially lost his mind. This was proven when he spent the remainder of the show standing in the middle of the ring repeating the phrase "I'm Vince McMahon, dammit! I'm Vince McMahon, dammit! I'm Vince McMahon, dammit!"
RIC: Okay, give it to me, Champ.
CHRIS: It's okay. You can stand up, Ric. Triple H doesn't have the belt anymore.
RIC: Oh, thank God...
EARL: *Whew* I finally got to the point where I can watch one of these without calling for the bell.
*Batista taps out*
CHRIS: Ring the bell!
EARL: What do you people want from me?!?
Fryza:
Benoit: Hunter, I have a friend here who says he misses you almost as much as you miss him!
Hunter: That's not funny Chris..
Austin: But how do you smack the thing when it doesn't cook you dinner?
Rene: Not THAT kind of bitch Steve..
Those rumours about Steven Richards must be true, that's a look normally only seen in pornos!
Earl: I'm through talking negotations. You either LIKE these shadow puppets, or you DON'T! Which is it, missy?
Stacy: *gag*
Trish: Christian! You cheating BASTARD!
Christian: Ohh..this..um..I did it for the Rock?
Dave: What the...hey, there's a World Title Push in here!
Chris: GET OUT OF MY ASS!
Rock Bottom:
Benoit: I'm so proud of my title win!
Triple H: (Mumbling) ...Yeah, I am happy you got the belt...
Benoit: (Points to Triple H's nose) LIAR!
To overstate the obvious, Kane was much bigger than Spike. Afterall, Spike was but a milimeter tall, and needed a sign over his head to point him out.
El Santo:
Steve Austin meets the head of the WWE's writing staff.
The WWE's first Chicken Dance Contest was off to a great start.
Shannon Moore was pissed. Brian Kendrick's outfit was so much better!
Stacy: "I love the Suuuubbbs!"
Jackie: "NOOOOO!!!"
As Spike prepared to unleash the Sonic Girly Scream, the Ref knew it was time to get the hell out of the arena.
Trish: "Mmmm... yes... kiss me, Albert..."
Christian: ".... what?"
SmackDOWN! [3-18-2004]
Rock Bottom:
Cena's spelling lessons didn't go too far with Goldberg, but, Cena was proud of Goldy nonetheless and commended the effort.
This would prove once and for ALL that the WWE's release of Zach Gowen was not a discriminating act. Not only did this guy have one leg, but HE WAS BLACK!
It sure was nice of The Big Show to hold Rey up so the crowd could actually see him.
(Paul Heyman turns on his TV.)
(8)When the eyes of the ranger are upon you...(8)
(Paul quickly changes the channel.)
El Santo:
After John lost his voice, he had to resort to the old Wile E. Coyote gimmick.
The first Smackdown after Wrestlemania saw the debut of John "the Not-so-Subtle Kleptomaniac" Cena.
Unlike other wrestlers, Farooq was always prepared when it started raining midcarders.
If they were going to end up on different brands, Haas was going to collect on the $100 deposit he paid for Shelton's matching boots.
Rey froze in his tracks. Andy Kaufman was alive! And he hadn't been taking his Stacker 2.
Dear God, I don't think anyone expected Paul to do a hurricarana!
Corkscrewed:
Paul: "Wait, Farooq, you mean you actually took Bradshaw's advice on that ImClone stock?"
Farooq: "Well, he IS my friend, and..."
Bradshaw:
Farooq: "You told me that ImClone stock was gonna be GOLD!"
Bradshaw: "Um... yeah... about that..."
Benjamin: "I'm a better wrestler. I'm more over. I'm more athletic. I'm more technically sound. I have better stamina..."
Gunn: "Okay! Okay! *sob* I get it! You're better than me! Stop rubbing it in!
"
Benjamin: "...I don't oversell every single move. I don't need my ass to get me over. People actually care about me..."