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**Corkscrewed** · 01-15-2004, 06:47 PM

RAW [3-22-2004]
Corkscrewed:

Jericho: "Dammit! This Dupree Wheelbarrow is IMPOSSIBLE! I feel like Hardcore Holly with an Easy-Fold Chair!"

The match quickly degenerated when Christian and the ref became caught up in a "You're a homo"/"**** you" gesture war.

Wow, Rhyno didn't even have the move locked in and Hebner had already called for the bell and was now walking to the back.

Hunter: "The belt is mine! Give it to me!" *pat pat* "What the... you mean it's NOT attached to your torso?"

Loopydate:

PAUL: ...and that's why the signs say "Low Bridge."

KANE: I did NOT have sexual relations with that corpse. This press conference is over!

The skies opened, and God said... "Put on a freakin' shirt!" And lo, the shirt did falleth from the sky.

CENA: Yo, I was gonna cut a killer freestyle, but since I'm in Detroit and wearing a Lions #20 jersey...I'm just gonna quit. See ya!

RHYNO: Hey, Earl. I'm Rhyno. Good to meet you.
EARL: Hi. I'll just shake your ha--
CHRIS: No, Earl! It's a trap!
RHYNO: Heh heh heh...

PAUL: You need to get me a doctor right NOW!
ERIC: I don't see what's so important. John castrated you, like, an hour ago, and you're still walking around just fine!
PAUL: But it's turning BLUE!

Crippling depression: Another side effect of burial. Hungry? Eat the boss' daughter!

faust34:

Strip powerball lottery has become an overnight sensation.

Sascha:

You mean there's a whole OTHER roster to be buried???

MVP:

Cade: "I'm going to miss you man."
Jindrak: "I got something for you to remember me by, here's my pants."

Contrary to the unpopular "Paul-in-a-Box," the new "Nidia-in-a-box" sold like crazy.

Ric: "Hey look man, when Vince told me to whack you, I didn't know he meant this."

Batista: "UH OH!"
Booker T: "Tell me you did not just do that."

That was the last time Eddie gave the Big Show a ride anywhere.

Rock Bottom:

Rene' proves to us all that the French do indeed enjoy being crucified.

Cade and Jindrak show us footage of where they first became a tag team, at a Star Wars convention.

Bischoff: Alright, Nidia, it's your turn to draw from the golden box of buried gimmicks!
Nidia: Whoa, Sable's leftover silicon!
Bischoff: Er, that works.

Rob Van Dam guest stars in Busta Rhymes's new video, "Gimme Some Dope."

It was cool for Eddie to pick up chicks with his car and all, but did he really need to pick up the fat ones too?

Innovator:

HHH: Now you're gonna get it Eddie!
Belty: Oh shit I've heard about you
HHH: What the ****?!

El Santo:

The draft was neat, the post-show beat down was terrific, but nothing in the show could really top the shocking moment when Renee Dupree climbed out of Chris Jericho's mouth.

Glen Jacobs reflected on the irony of how he began his career as a dentist and ended it a podiatrist.

"Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad. Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected."
* missile explodes behind him *

Heyman was torn. One the one hand, he was happy that Brock had lost weight and had signed an NFL contract. On the other hand ... THE DETROIT LIONS!?!?!?

Cena: "Put me on Raw or I'm siccing Pikachu on your ass, bitch."

When Batista complained that he couldn't take his hands off his forehead, Flair and Hunter knew that Rhyno had come to Raw.

Gloating after savagely beating Whoopi Goldberg, RVD's heel turn was complete.

BigDaddyCool:

Flair, HHH, and Batista all at once: Oh my god, we all wore the same thing, we are such dorks! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Kane: Girls are funny.

Loose Cannon:

Heyman: Don't ever tell me about a shortcut ever again.
Bischoff: Sorry, I didn't know they weren't finished installing the road yet.

Welcome back to WWE Jeopardy.
Host: Okay Paul, How many times has an ex ECW wrestler been buried in the WWE?
Heyman: Three Thousand and Five Times
Host: OOOO, So Close. The correct answer, according to Vince himself, is "What's ECW?"

You knew Trish's heel turn wasn't working out so well when Christian had to demand for the fans to stop chanting "Trish" during matches.

SmackDOWN! [3-25-2004]
faust34:

On looking back at the show Rene Decides maybe it wasn't the best idea to wear tights and look at Hustler during a match.

"Yes, I'm the whitest man in American and I said it, So talk to the hand Booker."

Fryza:

Kurt: Hey Booker, what the five fingers say to the face?
Booker: Oh no you don't Kurt, you done already did that one to me today..
Kurt: *SLAP* I'm an Olympic Gold Medalist, bitch!
Booker: ...Okay man, that's the second time...one more time and I'll break your neck again.

MVP:

Booker T: "What did you say?!"
Eddie: "I just called you by your name."
Booker T: "That is OUR word, you don't use it. Now say it right!"
Eddie: "Ok, can you pass me the oar N-word Jim?"

Bradshaw: "Hahahahaha once I eliminate the rest of the Latino population, President Bush will be in office for a second term for sure."

The writers sunk to a new low when Eddie was forced to job the WWE title to the white cowboy hat.

Rock Bottom:

Yo, yo, yo. Don't knock on this man, he isn't that bad. We wouldn't want to make his little poodle mad. And don't hate him because he's French, because all he does is warm the - (holds up the mic)
Crowd: Fuck!
Cena: You're supposed to say bench.
Crowd: ...
Cena: ...I just don't give a -
Crowd: Bench! (huge pop)
Cena: Whatever.

What a smart Basham. Coaxing D'Von into stinging him, so that a few minutes later D'Von would die.

And then God said, "Let there be light," and prompted Bubba to move his fat ass out of the way.

Bradshaw: Alright, Undertaker... This town ain't big enough for the two of us...

Booker T: Eddie, you're gonna have to hold still.
Eddie: (Screaming)
Ref: Hm, just as I suspected. (gets a machine and sucks out a little worm robot with a Triple H face)
Eddie: HOLY SHIT THAT THING WAS REAL?

Eddie: Booker, wait!
Booker: Shut up sucka, it's naptime.
Eddie: But our Naptime Enforcer just left to go for the NFL.
Booker: Guess I have to kill you then...

Corkscrewed:

Ref: "Riiiiiiicolaaaaaaa!!!"

Bradshaw: "And can you believe it? Nathan Jones took my 'advice' about that Enron stock, and long story short, that's the real reason why he got depressed and went back to Australia."

PorkSoda:

Bradshaw: And there he was just above my chambored door, he squealed at me like nothing more, he took my boozm's to the bedroom floor, and whacked about on my door. Who was this on my bedroom floor, smacking me like a chambored door? I reached the door, hoping for a glore, it was just Stephanie, poking on my chambored door like a 2 cent baby whore! Quote the Bradshaw, nevermore!

El Santo:

Seconds later, the WWE jobbed John Cena to the entire University of Nevada.

Bradshaw: "... it's a book filled with drama, comedy, and lots of paint-by-number pictures. In conclusion, I highly, highly recommend 'A is for Apple, Z is for Zoo.'"

Fans marked huge when Bradshaw was sucked down by the perilous Smackdown quicksand.

trnbuckle:

Eddie fainted when he learned he was the prime suspect in the case of "Who Shot JR's hat"

Nowhere Man:

Long was touched that Too Cool wanted him to be part of their team, but he wasn't too sure about joining up with a group that used to have a white guy who called himself the "Grand Master" as a member.

Triple H was always so uptight about Tough Enough and the internet "exposing the business," so I've got to wonder why they let the referees shout out the upcoming spots on live TV.

Tired of hearing Booker's whining, Angle uses an amazing trick he'd learned from Cena. Booker was stunned and frightened when out of nowhere, he couldn't see Kurt anymore.

Everyone in the room was focused, hell-bent on their goals. Booker wanted to establish his dominance and make a name for himself. Holly wanted to regain his credibility by taking out a major worker. Funaki wanted his lower torso back.

Not even the aggressive attacks from the WWE Champion would break Booker T away from his Tai Chi.

Kapoutman:

It was the end for Charlie Haas, as RVD was trying to rip off his arm, while the ref was going for the head

The 69 position was old news. Here, Chavo and Spike try the "96" position, to no success.

loopydate:

CENA: YoyoyoYOYO! Chill. I know I made some of you guys mad when I did my Barry Sanders impression on RAW. No worries. Tonight, I'm here in East Lansing, wearing a Spartans jersey, so there will be no imp--*begins choking*

TEDDY: I represent the NAACP, and I gotta tell you: Your dancing...it's kinda settin' us back.

SPIKE: This is sort of refreshing.
CHAVO: Why?
SPIKE: On RAW, our crucifices were invisible.

BRADSHAW: And now I'm...Jimmy Stewart! "Muh-muh muh mouth's bleedin', Burt!" Ha ha ha! Thank you!
TAZZ: Didn't they used to be a little more discreet about filling TV time?
COLE: Your mic's on.
TAZZ: Well, I'm fired.

HOLLY: You took my main event push!
GUNN: And my claim to being the biggest tag-to-singles success story.
LONDON: And my TV time!
FUNAKI: And my rugged sex appeal!
BOOK:

REF: Eddie? Eddie, wake up! Oh, man... I told you not to drink all of that. The hat SAID it was 10 gallons!

tucsonspeed6:

And then I said to Vince that he should purchase some propane and propane excessories.

01-15-2004, 06:47 PM	#10
Corkscrewed Posts: 18,357	RAW [3-22-2004] Corkscrewed: Jericho: "Dammit! This Dupree Wheelbarrow is IMPOSSIBLE! I feel like Hardcore Holly with an Easy-Fold Chair!" The match quickly degenerated when Christian and the ref became caught up in a "You're a homo"/"**** you" gesture war. Wow, Rhyno didn't even have the move locked in and Hebner had already called for the bell and was now walking to the back. Hunter: "The belt is mine! Give it to me!" pat pat "What the... you mean it's NOT attached to your torso?" Loopydate: PAUL: ...and that's why the signs say "Low Bridge." KANE: I did NOT have sexual relations with that corpse. This press conference is over! The skies opened, and God said... "Put on a freakin' shirt!" And lo, the shirt did falleth from the sky. CENA: Yo, I was gonna cut a killer freestyle, but since I'm in Detroit and wearing a Lions #20 jersey...I'm just gonna quit. See ya! RHYNO: Hey, Earl. I'm Rhyno. Good to meet you. EARL: Hi. I'll just shake your ha-- CHRIS: No, Earl! It's a trap! RHYNO: Heh heh heh... PAUL: You need to get me a doctor right NOW! ERIC: I don't see what's so important. John castrated you, like, an hour ago, and you're still walking around just fine! PAUL: But it's turning BLUE! Crippling depression: Another side effect of burial. Hungry? Eat the boss' daughter! faust34: Strip powerball lottery has become an overnight sensation. Sascha: You mean there's a whole OTHER roster to be buried??? MVP: Cade: "I'm going to miss you man." Jindrak: "I got something for you to remember me by, here's my pants." Contrary to the unpopular "Paul-in-a-Box," the new "Nidia-in-a-box" sold like crazy. Ric: "Hey look man, when Vince told me to whack you, I didn't know he meant this." Batista: "UH OH!" Booker T: "Tell me you did not just do that." That was the last time Eddie gave the Big Show a ride anywhere. Rock Bottom: Rene' proves to us all that the French do indeed enjoy being crucified. Cade and Jindrak show us footage of where they first became a tag team, at a Star Wars convention. Bischoff: Alright, Nidia, it's your turn to draw from the golden box of buried gimmicks! Nidia: Whoa, Sable's leftover silicon! Bischoff: Er, that works. Rob Van Dam guest stars in Busta Rhymes's new video, "Gimme Some Dope." It was cool for Eddie to pick up chicks with his car and all, but did he really need to pick up the fat ones too? Innovator: HHH: Now you're gonna get it Eddie! Belty: Oh shit I've heard about you HHH: What the **?! El Santo:** The draft was neat, the post-show beat down was terrific, but nothing in the show could really top the shocking moment when Renee Dupree climbed out of Chris Jericho's mouth. Glen Jacobs reflected on the irony of how he began his career as a dentist and ended it a podiatrist. "Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad. Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected." * missile explodes behind him * Heyman was torn. One the one hand, he was happy that Brock had lost weight and had signed an NFL contract. On the other hand ... THE DETROIT LIONS!?!?!? Cena: "Put me on Raw or I'm siccing Pikachu on your ass, bitch." When Batista complained that he couldn't take his hands off his forehead, Flair and Hunter knew that Rhyno had come to Raw. Gloating after savagely beating Whoopi Goldberg, RVD's heel turn was complete. BigDaddyCool: Flair, HHH, and Batista all at once: Oh my god, we all wore the same thing, we are such dorks! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Kane: Girls are funny. Loose Cannon: Heyman: Don't ever tell me about a shortcut ever again. Bischoff: Sorry, I didn't know they weren't finished installing the road yet. Welcome back to WWE Jeopardy. Host: Okay Paul, How many times has an ex ECW wrestler been buried in the WWE? Heyman: Three Thousand and Five Times Host: OOOO, So Close. The correct answer, according to Vince himself, is "What's ECW?" You knew Trish's heel turn wasn't working out so well when Christian had to demand for the fans to stop chanting "Trish" during matches. SmackDOWN! [3-25-2004] faust34: On looking back at the show Rene Decides maybe it wasn't the best idea to wear tights and look at Hustler during a match. "Yes, I'm the whitest man in American and I said it, So talk to the hand Booker." Fryza: Kurt: Hey Booker, what the five fingers say to the face? Booker: Oh no you don't Kurt, you done already did that one to me today.. Kurt: SLAP I'm an Olympic Gold Medalist, bitch! Booker: ...Okay man, that's the second time...one more time and I'll break your neck again. MVP: Booker T: "What did you say?!" Eddie: "I just called you by your name." Booker T: "That is OUR word, you don't use it. Now say it right!" Eddie: "Ok, can you pass me the oar N-word Jim?" Bradshaw: "Hahahahaha once I eliminate the rest of the Latino population, President Bush will be in office for a second term for sure." The writers sunk to a new low when Eddie was forced to job the WWE title to the white cowboy hat. Rock Bottom: Yo, yo, yo. Don't knock on this man, he isn't that bad. We wouldn't want to make his little poodle mad. And don't hate him because he's French, because all he does is warm the - (holds up the mic) Crowd: Fuck! Cena: You're supposed to say bench. Crowd: ... Cena: ...I just don't give a - Crowd: Bench! (huge pop) Cena: Whatever. What a smart Basham. Coaxing D'Von into stinging him, so that a few minutes later D'Von would die. And then God said, "Let there be light," and prompted Bubba to move his fat ass out of the way. Bradshaw: Alright, Undertaker... This town ain't big enough for the two of us... Booker T: Eddie, you're gonna have to hold still. Eddie: (Screaming) Ref: Hm, just as I suspected. (gets a machine and sucks out a little worm robot with a Triple H face) Eddie: HOLY SHIT THAT THING WAS REAL? Eddie: Booker, wait! Booker: Shut up sucka, it's naptime. Eddie: But our Naptime Enforcer just left to go for the NFL. Booker: Guess I have to kill you then... Corkscrewed: Ref: "Riiiiiiicolaaaaaaa!!!" Bradshaw: "And can you believe it? Nathan Jones took my 'advice' about that Enron stock, and long story short, that's the real reason why he got depressed and went back to Australia." PorkSoda: Bradshaw: And there he was just above my chambored door, he squealed at me like nothing more, he took my boozm's to the bedroom floor, and whacked about on my door. Who was this on my bedroom floor, smacking me like a chambored door? I reached the door, hoping for a glore, it was just Stephanie, poking on my chambored door like a 2 cent baby whore! Quote the Bradshaw, nevermore! El Santo: Seconds later, the WWE jobbed John Cena to the entire University of Nevada. Bradshaw: "... it's a book filled with drama, comedy, and lots of paint-by-number pictures. In conclusion, I highly, highly recommend 'A is for Apple, Z is for Zoo.'" Fans marked huge when Bradshaw was sucked down by the perilous Smackdown quicksand. trnbuckle: Eddie fainted when he learned he was the prime suspect in the case of "Who Shot JR's hat" Nowhere Man: Long was touched that Too Cool wanted him to be part of their team, but he wasn't too sure about joining up with a group that used to have a white guy who called himself the "Grand Master" as a member. Triple H was always so uptight about Tough Enough and the internet "exposing the business," so I've got to wonder why they let the referees shout out the upcoming spots on live TV. Tired of hearing Booker's whining, Angle uses an amazing trick he'd learned from Cena. Booker was stunned and frightened when out of nowhere, he couldn't see Kurt anymore. Everyone in the room was focused, hell-bent on their goals. Booker wanted to establish his dominance and make a name for himself. Holly wanted to regain his credibility by taking out a major worker. Funaki wanted his lower torso back. Not even the aggressive attacks from the WWE Champion would break Booker T away from his Tai Chi. Kapoutman: It was the end for Charlie Haas, as RVD was trying to rip off his arm, while the ref was going for the head The 69 position was old news. Here, Chavo and Spike try the "96" position, to no success. loopydate: CENA: YoyoyoYOYO! Chill. I know I made some of you guys mad when I did my Barry Sanders impression on RAW. No worries. Tonight, I'm here in East Lansing, wearing a Spartans jersey, so there will be no imp--begins choking TEDDY: I represent the NAACP, and I gotta tell you: Your dancing...it's kinda settin' us back. SPIKE: This is sort of refreshing. CHAVO: Why? SPIKE: On RAW, our crucifices were invisible. BRADSHAW: And now I'm...Jimmy Stewart! "Muh-muh muh mouth's bleedin', Burt!" Ha ha ha! Thank you! TAZZ: Didn't they used to be a little more discreet about filling TV time? COLE: Your mic's on. TAZZ: Well, I'm fired. HOLLY: You took my main event push! GUNN: And my claim to being the biggest tag-to-singles success story. LONDON: And my TV time! FUNAKI: And my rugged sex appeal! BOOK: REF: Eddie? Eddie, wake up! Oh, man... I told you not to drink all of that. The hat SAID it was 10 gallons! tucsonspeed6: And then I said to Vince that he should purchase some propane and propane excessories. Last edited by Corkscrewed; 03-30-2004 at 05:28 PM.