RAW [3-29-2004]
Xero Limit 126:
Vince was starting to get cheap with the Pyros... HBK had to throw the sparkles in the air now...
HBK: Uh, here...
Chris: Why are you standing like that? Whats wrong with me!?
HBK: Uh, well, if you can kill Ric with your breath, I wouldnt be too hard...
Johnny just couldnt believe it... Shawn chose Chris over him!
Corkscrewed:
Coach paid dearly for making fun of Shang Tsung's new haircut.
Shawn: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have had that chili Bret sent me."
Austin: "Heheh.. and then she said, 'No! I'm not your bitch!' and I said 'Shut up, bitch!' and she's like 'It's over!' and I'm like 'You're breaking my law, bitch!' and she's like 'This isn't wrestling, you moron!' so I stunned her and drank six bears, and when she got up, I stunned her again!' Heheheheh..."
Benjamin: "Um, Steve, you're still drunk aren't you?"
Austin: "...and then the cops decided to stop by for some reason..."
"Holy shit! Our anniversary was yesterday!!!"
Fryza:
Flair hated the WWE's annual prostate check-ups.
Benoit: Did you, or did you NOT steal Molly's wig?
Johnny: ...
Shawn: ANSWER HIM!
loopydate:
HHH: Oh, shit! There's an "H" on the 'Tron! I missed my cue!
RHYNO: Love you, too, Stevie. No one must ever know...
HBK: Ha ha! Now I'M the champion!
GOD: Give it back!
HBK: Yessir.
STEVE: You wouldn't happen to know where the Divas' locker room is, would you?
SHELTON: Down the hall to the left. Why?
STEVE: No reason. *Cracks knuckles* I'll be back in a minute.
KANE: Note to self, Chia is NOT edible.
Shaggy:
Late Breaking News: Trish Stratus tragically died monday night after slipping over the Highlight Reel Logo that was conveniently placed on the walkway. Jericho says he didnt do it but is still being held for questioning.
Urge to kill rising...rising...rising...
MVP:
Coach wasn't pleased with RAW's new water fountain.
The debut of Jubilee on RAW was a huge success.
Johnny: "C'mon Lillian, can't we just go out once like old times?"
Lillian: "Don't start with me Florence!"
Benoit: "FLORENCE?! Hahahahahahahahaha"
HBK: "Oh man Johnny Nitro's real name is Florence?! Hahahahahaha"
Johnny: "Hey shut up...you all shut up!!"
Once word ot out about Shelton's win over Triple H, Vince gave the command for the flamethrower.
Rock Bottom:
(8)Oh..! Oh! Ohhhhhhhhhh! I think I'm cute, I know I'm sexy... I got the looks...(8) Introducing first, from San Antonio Texas, weighing in at two hundred, thirty pounds, The Heart Break Kid, Shawwwwwwwwwwwwwn, Michaellllllllllllllllllls!
(8)Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiiist, Suuuuuuuuper Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...(8)
And his tag-team partner, from The Pearly Gates, weighing in at nine trillion, eight hundred, fourty-nine billion, seven hundred, ninety-six million, five hundred, thirty-nine thousand, and one pound, The Allllllllllllllllllmightyyyyyyyyy, Godddddddddddddddddd!
When Michaels told Ric Flair that his penis was a foot long, Flair didn't believe him. So Michaels grabbed a foot and measured.
Michaels: I gotta hand it to you Benoit, knocking out the ref when I hooked you in that Sharpshooter was pretty smart, I've gotta get some new material.
Evolution: And to show our appreciation for everything you've done... Triple H, this, is your life!
(Video plays)
Triple H: Who's your daddy... Who's your daddy...
Steph: Vince McMahon is... Are you in yet?
Triple H: I think I'm gonna... Ohmygod... BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH.
Orton: *$&^%&^$&^&#^$ WRONG VIDEO FLAIR, YOU MORON!
faust34:
Trish was furious when the little blue man in the hamster ball refused to stop following her to the ring.
El Santo:
Tajiri never got used to the bold taste of Mountain Dew.
Shelton had lost the tag titles, lost his partner, and was now on a different show all together, but having to listen to HHH prattle on about his love life was more than he could stand.
Christian knew it was wrong to cheat on Trish with Molly Holly, but there was something about rubbing his fingers through her bald scalp that made his naughty parts tingle.
Hundreds of fans tossed their cookies when Kane sneezed on national TV.
gonMad00:
Shelton: GOT YOUR NOSE!
HHH: I'm doomed.
ColdwaVer:
HBK: It's a magic trick, see, I steal someone's finisher and the bell rings on its own, haha!
Sascha:
Benoit: WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR!!!