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Old 02-24-2005, 05:54 PM   #131
tucsonspeed6
Banned WWE on 1/1/07
 
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tucsonspeed6 has a good deal of rep (10,000+)tucsonspeed6 has a good deal of rep (10,000+)tucsonspeed6 has a good deal of rep (10,000+)tucsonspeed6 has a good deal of rep (10,000+)tucsonspeed6 has a good deal of rep (10,000+)tucsonspeed6 has a good deal of rep (10,000+)
*Vince arrives at his office one morning to find a note left on his desk by his personal secretary. He reads it and quickly dials his phone.*

Vince: "Yeah, Babs, about that note....uh huh.....listen, call in the boys. We're gonna have an impromptu meeting in my office. Yeah, thanks babe." *Waves his hand in the air as though smacking an invisable ass*

---Later---

*Vince sits in his office with many of the head honchos of the WWE. The internal memo is being passed around the room as an intern loads up an email.*

Vince: Ladies and gentlemen, early this morning, we recieved an annonimous email.
Intern: It's ready sir... *The intern turns the screen so everyone can see. On the screen appears a list of 37 names....all apparent rock fans (except one guy who mistakenly signed the list with an angry letter to santa, furious that the jolly bastard didn't help Shawn Michaels find his smile...)*

Everyone in the room: "GASP!!!"

Vince: "I know. It seems that we were mistaken in terminating Mr. Johnson from the staff"
Steph: "Who's that?"
Vince: ".............The Rock." *Vince opens his desk drawer and pulls out a dildo that he hands to Steph. "Here, sweetheart, go play somewhere while us tall people talk a bit."
Steph: "YAY!!!" *And she runs off so I don't have to talk about her anymore in this spoof*

HHH: "I swear, dad, this is total bull! I bet half of those signatures are double dippers! Rock can't draw anymore! They're just playing with the numbers...just like when they say that our Neilson Ratings represent the quality of the product! I shouldn't have to tell you again just how few of those boxes are out there..."

Vince: "No, Jean....I think this one is legit. It has to be. It came from a website that has nothing but half naked pictures of the man. These people are HARDCORE FANS! We can't piss off our strongest fanbase."

*The others all ponder the thought for a moment as Vince begins stuffing a gunneysac with fist-fulls of cash.*

Vince: "Ok, Shane...he liked you best. I want you to do daddy proud and get him back... Just pretend you're me and he's Stone Cold!"

Shane: "I'll do my best pop!"
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