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...you scald dogs to see if JR's been full of shit this whole time.
...you feel the need to back up the phrase "No thanks, I don't like pie" with something that re-affirms your masculinity.
...the shows you booked with your Hasbro WWF figures when you were 10 are better than this month's WWE PPV (bonus points for a face turn by either Papa Shango or the Berzerker).
...you stopped saying your prayers and taking your vitamins for a dark period in the mid-'90s.
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