RVD: Okay, Matt. Kicking off the show, how many times do you think they'll play the "Final Fantasy X-2" commercial?
Christian was in trouble. It was bad enough that he was bent over in position for the Axe Kick, but he didn't realize that Booker was also conjuring up a Hadoken!
Christian, WWE's Cartwheel Teacher, was not known for being gentle.
CHRISTIAN: Go over, dammit!
Frustrated, Christian let his apprentice Matt take a crack at it.
CHRISTIAN: That's good. Now, just roll the rest of the way...
Jericho didn't know what to think. Maybe he SHOULD shake hands with Rene as sort of a goodwill gesture, but...did Rene HAVE to masturbate while they did it?
Rene "Decaptiator" Dupree celebrated his first WWE singles victory.
Jericho thought he had the match won until Dupree pinched him. Hard.
Mmm...noodle soup! DAMMIT!
*Rep (if possible) to (s)he who gets the reference*
Rico was elated. Santa was real! He got JUST what he wanted...four weeks late.
RICO: Damn you, Xanta Klaus, you sly trickster!
Spike was scared of the impending two-handed chokeslam, but what really freaked him out was the komodo dragon climbing up Kane's leg.
Glen "Boo-Boo Kisser" Jacobs unveils yet another new gimmick.
TEST: Okay, Scott. Now, you hook his tights, lift, and fall back.
SCOTT: What's this called again?
TEST: It's a suplex.
GOLDBERG: Suhpluh?
Goldberg got Scotty with the old "Hey, somebody left a 'roid needle on the canvas" gag.
Bill was confused. Scott had the Superman logo on his tights, but when he threw him off the building...he just fell.
The ref could tell the fans were losing interest. The Steiner/Goldberg match was in Hour Seventeen. It was finally time to bust out...the REFAROONIE!
Falling asleep mid-promo: Another side effect of being a Drunken, Idiotic Redneck. Grab a pink slip.
Turning on your headlights when you're inside a well-lit arena: Another side effect of being a Drunken, Idiotic Redneck. Grab a pink slip.
TRISH: Why do you have Mae Young on speed-dial?
That bastard Mayor McCheese had tricked him! That was the thought running through Teddy's mind as he's getting mauled by the Orange Fry Guy.
Jazz revealed what wrestling fans had long suspected: Lita had (literally) no ass.
*Does anyone else think it looks like they just Photoshopped Hurricane into this picture?*
While Randy Orton does his best Buff Bagwell taunt, Hurricane prepares for a Blockbuster. All part of Vince's "Ha ha! I fired you before the Invasion appreciation night."
The Old Guy, the Leviathan, the SHIT, and the Hurricane had gathered: Village People 2004 were set to take over the world!
D-VON: Hey, Ric! Do one of those ballet jumps. I'll catch you.
RIC: Okay...
BUBBA: Heheheh...
DAVE: No! It's a trap!
D-Von didn't know if he wanted any part of this. Coach and Bubba were walking around, fingers extended, trying to blind the Giant Steven Richards. For D-Von, though, it didn't seem quite...Christian.
One Giant Stevie Kick later, and the plot fell apart.
BUBBA: I got him...
COACH: Not me, you idiot...uhhhhnnnn...
While Randy Orton enjoyed his new invisible chair, Mark Henry tried his new invisible jetpack, and Teddy Long did his world-famous New Jack impression, the audience was left with one unified thought:
JR: You lift one mid-carder, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt...
KING: There's a reason they didn't let you sing folk songs on Originals.