TPWW Forums - View Single Post - Kayfabe Corner 5: 3,000TH POST + MY PREDICTIONS

**KayfabeMan** · 04-05-2005, 11:39 PM

This will also double as my KayfabeCorner 5 column, due to the timing - even though that usually comes on a Friday, and today is Tuesday.

Now then, in the spirit of my 2,000th post - which featured "By My Post 3,000th" (similar to Conan O'Brien's 'Year 2000' skits) - I will now offer up a "By My Post 4,000th" for you to see and hopefully enjoy. Please feel free to post thoughts / comments or send me chocolates.

BY MY POST 4,000TH
*Jeff Jarrett will lose the NWA Title Belt. He will then sue American Airlines for misplacing his valuable luggage, and have a new title made. When asked about when he will drop the belt, Jarrett replies honestly, saying, "I will never drop this belt. The plates can crack easily."

*HHH will go out to a nightclub with William Regal and Spike Dudley. There he will be jumped by "10 thugs". Coincidentally - this will happen right before he is scheduled to lose his title & he will tearfully hand the belt over to Vince McMahon, who, in the total interest of fairness will retire the belt until Triple H is healthy enough to return.

*A new stable in Orlando Jordan, Booker T, D-Von Dudley, Viscera, Shelton Benjamin & Mark Henry will be formed. WWE will refuse to acknowledge any similarities between the wrestlers, other than the color of their eyes. When asked if he is racist, Vince McMahon replies with, "I've never been a NASCAR fan in my life."

*In an effort to further push HHH, WWE's marketing wizards will put the tag titles on him. He will (surprisingly) need a tag partner to do this. He will be teamed with the returning Shannon Moore, and printing of shirts and hats will commence for the brilliant team of "Moore HHH".

*Mark Jindrak will be called up to WWE RAW along with Mark Henry. Their tag name will be "The Two Huge Marks". Upon hearing this, Ric Flair will raise hell with the team for breaking kayfabe and being backstage, and they will be sent back to OVW.

*UK fans will get a treat, as at WWE's UK PPV - Akio, Funaki, Kenzo Suzuki, and Tajiri will make their first official group appearance as Team E.G.G.R.O.L.L. (Every Guy Gets Randy Over Lindsay Lohan). When he was asked if putting this group together with that name was nothing more than him taking a shot at Asian wrestlers, Vince McMahon replied, "That's extremely ridiculous. I don't even own a weapon."

*Kidman will spend a night with Lita, and go back to his Flock gimmick, where he walked around constantly scratching himself; this time for a different reason. Furthermore, while spending time with Edge, Lita will botch swallowing and will be hospitalized for several months. I of course meant the swallowing thing as a food / dinner / restaurant reference.
Of course.

After being released from the hospital, Lita will be further embarassed
by her ex, Matt Hardy, who will release a sex tape of the couple entitled "Stick It In My Dumas".

*With the NHL basically abandoned, Vince McMahon decides to purchase their time on ESPN. In it's place he will execute one of his biggest and brightest ideas ever: The XHL.

*Steve Austin will begin to film his straight to video movies for Vince McMahon. Titles will include "STILL No Holds Barred", with Nathan Jones taking over Zeus' former role, and "The Rundown 2: I Did It For My People", with a guest appearance from Rikishi. When the films bomb, WWE Films chief executive Gene Snisky replies with "IT WASN'T MY FAULT!".

*TNA will have Shark Boy pick-up the X-Division Championship. They then ask him to hand it back to Christopher Daniels, who accidentally dropped it on the ground.

*Stephanie McMahon will announce that she is pregnant. In true wrestling fashion there is a swerve, and Vince is announced as the father. Unfortunately, this isn't part of a storyline.

*This time around, WWE will actually hire Abyss. To celebrate, he brings cookies and giant balloons to Titan Towers. Vince McMahon goes into a frenzy, and immediately releases him.

*To solve not only his own problems, but the lack of work for the younger wrestlers, HHH sends talent to Job Corps. Upon returning, they immediately begin working with HHH - to repair the crack in the glass ceiling.

OK, so KayfabeMan wasn't in TOP form, but I shall be again shortly. I am a little under the weather at the moment, so please forgive me

I shall return again, and will work harder to be entertaining / sarcastic. Posts 4,000 and 5,000 shall be better.

04-05-2005, 11:39 PM	#2
KayfabeMan TPWW's Glass Ceiling Posts: 5,793	This will also double as my KayfabeCorner 5 column, due to the timing - even though that usually comes on a Friday, and today is Tuesday. Now then, in the spirit of my 2,000th post - which featured "By My Post 3,000th" (similar to Conan O'Brien's 'Year 2000' skits) - I will now offer up a "By My Post 4,000th" for you to see and hopefully enjoy. Please feel free to post thoughts / comments or send me chocolates. BY MY POST 4,000TH Jeff Jarrett will lose the NWA Title Belt. He will then sue American Airlines for misplacing his valuable luggage, and have a new title made. When asked about when he will drop the belt, Jarrett replies honestly, saying, "I will never drop this belt. The plates can crack easily." HHH will go out to a nightclub with William Regal and Spike Dudley. There he will be jumped by "10 thugs". Coincidentally - this will happen right before he is scheduled to lose his title & he will tearfully hand the belt over to Vince McMahon, who, in the total interest of fairness will retire the belt until Triple H is healthy enough to return. A new stable in Orlando Jordan, Booker T, D-Von Dudley, Viscera, Shelton Benjamin & Mark Henry will be formed. WWE will refuse to acknowledge any similarities between the wrestlers, other than the color of their eyes. When asked if he is racist, Vince McMahon replies with, "I've never been a NASCAR fan in my life." In an effort to further push HHH, WWE's marketing wizards will put the tag titles on him. He will (surprisingly) need a tag partner to do this. He will be teamed with the returning Shannon Moore, and printing of shirts and hats will commence for the brilliant team of "Moore HHH". Mark Jindrak will be called up to WWE RAW along with Mark Henry. Their tag name will be "The Two Huge Marks". Upon hearing this, Ric Flair will raise hell with the team for breaking kayfabe and being backstage, and they will be sent back to OVW. UK fans will get a treat, as at WWE's UK PPV - Akio, Funaki, Kenzo Suzuki, and Tajiri will make their first official group appearance as Team E.G.G.R.O.L.L. (Every Guy Gets Randy Over Lindsay Lohan). When he was asked if putting this group together with that name was nothing more than him taking a shot at Asian wrestlers, Vince McMahon replied, "That's extremely ridiculous. I don't even own a weapon." Kidman will spend a night with Lita, and go back to his Flock gimmick, where he walked around constantly scratching himself; this time for a different reason. Furthermore, while spending time with Edge, Lita will botch swallowing and will be hospitalized for several months. I of course meant the swallowing thing as a food / dinner / restaurant reference. Of course. After being released from the hospital, Lita will be further embarassed by her ex, Matt Hardy, who will release a sex tape of the couple entitled "Stick It In My Dumas". With the NHL basically abandoned, Vince McMahon decides to purchase their time on ESPN. In it's place he will execute one of his biggest and brightest ideas ever: The XHL. Steve Austin will begin to film his straight to video movies for Vince McMahon. Titles will include "STILL No Holds Barred", with Nathan Jones taking over Zeus' former role, and "The Rundown 2: I Did It For My People", with a guest appearance from Rikishi. When the films bomb, WWE Films chief executive Gene Snisky replies with "IT WASN'T MY FAULT!". TNA will have Shark Boy pick-up the X-Division Championship. They then ask him to hand it back to Christopher Daniels, who accidentally dropped it on the ground. Stephanie McMahon will announce that she is pregnant. In true wrestling fashion there is a swerve, and Vince is announced as the father. Unfortunately, this isn't part of a storyline. This time around, WWE will actually hire Abyss. To celebrate, he brings cookies and giant balloons to Titan Towers. Vince McMahon goes into a frenzy, and immediately releases him. *To solve not only his own problems, but the lack of work for the younger wrestlers, HHH sends talent to Job Corps. Upon returning, they immediately begin working with HHH - to repair the crack in the glass ceiling. OK, so KayfabeMan wasn't in TOP form, but I shall be again shortly. I am a little under the weather at the moment, so please forgive me I shall return again, and will work harder to be entertaining / sarcastic. Posts 4,000 and 5,000 shall be better.