REF: And THAT's what you get for calling my blue armband gay!
CHUCK: Hyuk hyuk!
CHUCK: Eeeeeeew... How'd you move your abs to your back like that?
NUNZIO: Thanks for the money, cuz.
JAMIE: I ain't yer cousin!
NUNZIO: Yes, you are. Remember?
JAMIE: Ohhhhhhhhh. Right. Here ya go...cuz.
Jamie starts his "Cruiserweight Triple H" gimmick with style.
Tajiri just had to feel for himself. Well, I'll be damned. Kidman WAS getting a piggy-back ride from Stevie Richards!
Hmm... Young(ish) woman with a microphone... On a wrestling show... Bedecked in red and yellow... Oh, shit... Brooke Hogan's got a WWE contract...
PATRICK: Okay, Train. I know you're upset that Shannon replaced your shaving cream with Nair, but we're going to have a civilized match. Understood?
Does anybody else think that if you drove a Mario Kart down Shannon's body, you'd get a big speed boost when you hit the legs?
-BEFORE THE SHOW-
VINCE: Lemme see if I got this. Rap music was a fusion of rock & roll and urban rhythms, rock & roll was based on the fusion of rhythm & blues and country & western, and country & western was derived in the South. Therefore, switching John from a rapper into a slack-jawed yokel WON'T confuse the hell out of everyone?
HAYES: Of course not, Vince! And none of the other writers think so, either!
They'd been dropping hints for weeks that Undertaker would be returning at the Rumble as the Deadman, but...wasn't delivering a giant urn to the Big Show's locker room a little...on the nose?
PAUL: Look, Brock! Sean O'Haire's got a laptop up there!
BROCK: I'm gonna kill him.
PAUL: I feel like I'm in a Lily Tomlin stand-up bit...
John was just being helpful. Rhyno's headlock would look more convincing if he...y'know..actually had his arms around his head.
BENOIT: Stop doing the Braves' "Tomahawk Chop!"
BROCK: NEVER!
Hardcore Holly was confused. He'd equated Brock with the WWE Title for so long. Now that he'd actually been booked to WIN the damn thing...he couldn't remember which one he was supposed to put on. Looks like he chose wrong.
BROCK: Ack! The belt! The belt!
The John Cena gargoyles...they're portable, too!
Who knew Rhyno threw such a beautiful Tornado DDT?
Paul "Invisible Sword Swallower" Heyman knew how to give the fans just what they wanted.
Benoit runs face-first into Heyman's invisible force field.
BENOIT: AAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE! STOP SQUEEZING!
AKIO: Oh, no! It's Gojira!
SAKODA: Not Gojira!
REF: We must flee!
Chavo was pissed. If the TitanTron was going to crash mid-entrance, couldn't they have at least programmed it to spell "Error" right?
KURT: Superstar!
EDDIE: What?
CHAVO: I said "HAVE YOU HEARD FROM HECTOR LATELY?"
EDDIE: What?
CHAVO: HAVE! YOU! HEARD! FROM! HECTOR! LATELY!
Sure preserving kayfabe was important, but when a wrestler lost a contact lens...well, they knew their priorities.
PATRICK: Hey, look! I'm ice skating!
EDDIE:
Good work,
ese.
KURT: I just...
Can't believe Hardcore Holly's getting a title shot.
REF: It's all right, Kurt. Let it out.
HHH: Hehehe... They'll never expect me to put an invisible crucifix on the top turnbuckle!