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Big Show dominates everyone for awhile, chopping Benoit, tossing around Christian....the usual. Chris Jericho is 25 and Angle feels the awesome power of Vitamin C. Big Show comes in to intervene and they feel the power of the hoss. Christian tries a piggy back as everyone tries to dump The Big Show. But he's JUST TOO FAT and fights them off. Jericho and Angle slug away next as Charlie Haas enters at 26. He too feels the power of Vitamin C via a double suplex. Benoit almost gets tossed by Team Vitamin C but he hangs on. Christian tries to dump Jericho (THAT BASTARD!!!) but he ends up getting the dupe and Jericho dumps Christian. Billy Gunn makes everything right with the world by coming back at 27. Fameassers all around and a big one on The Big Show! Haas slows down the power of the Ass and they have a go at it. Suplex by Jericho to Angle and Benoit Germans Jericho. My friend accurately calls John Cena next at 28. He spies Nunzio still sitting on the floor and he tosses him into the match officially. Big Show goes on the assault though but Nunzio tries an elimination on Show. That doesn't go well as you'd expect. Cena and Jericho try to dump Show but no go there. Rob Van Dam is number 29 looking happy as ever. Guess he thinks he's gonna win. He nearly spins kicks The Big Show out and he spin kicks Jericho down as well. Cena with an FU on Angle as everyone brawls around. Number 30 is you know who and he gets a HUGE POP! He JUMPS IN and SPEARS THE BIG SHOW and Billy Gunn. Angle down, RVD and Cena down. Haas slammed dumped as Nunzio's piggy back goes no where and he nearly gets killed with a spear. Billy Gunn dumped and Goldberg military presses Nunzio out. He tries a Jackhammer on The Big Show but LESNAR stops it (AAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHH!!! GOD DAMMIT!!!) and F5's him. Lesnar is apparently next but Angle's all, "Well, get the fuck out of here" and sneaks up and dumps Goldberg. Back to working on the Big Show but they cant get it done. Yeah, cause Show is more over than Goldberg. Angle clips Show and he gets leg dropped by RVD, Lionsaulted by Jericho, Frog Splashed by RVD, Five Knuckle Shuffled by Cena, headbutted by Benoit, and everyone tries to lift him!!! THIS IS HILARIOUS!!! They can't do it though and they all get shoved off and Cena gets dumped by him (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!) pissing off any sane person. RVD's monkey flip gets countered and he's dumped next. The final four are Jericho, Big Show, Benoit and Angle. Try to find which one doesn't belong. Jericho avoids getting tossed and he slips back in and takes fight to Show. Bulldog from the middle rope and the Walls get applied. Er, OK. Angle looks to be dumped by Jericho but Show intervenes and chokeslams Jericho over the top. (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!) It's not like he's going to win!!! Sidewalk slam to Angle and a chokeslam to Benoit. Show counters a German with his FAT ASS but Angle comes back to Angle Slam him. A sort of Angle Slam on Benoit. Looked more like a back drop. Show's chokeslam is countered into a roll-up into an ankle lock but it doesn't mean shit cause if he can't stand you can't dump him. Show uses the ropes for leverage to flip over dragging Angle up and over the top for the elimination. Benoit headbutts Show trying to come in as the final two are Benoit and The Big Show. There's really only one meaningful outcome from this predicament. Benoit counters the chokeslam with a Crossface but again, it doesn't mean anything. Show gets to his knees in order to stand up and counter. Benoit looks to be dumped via a military press but Benoit hangs on to Big Show's head and he flips Show up and over to eliminate him and WIN THE RUMBLE!!! HE HAD BETTER NOT JOB TO HHH!!! It took a looooong time to get good but when it did, holy shit, it was good. Why Show had to be the one to dump everyone is beyond me though but this was a heck of a Rumble. ***
Overall, a show that didn't really live up to a lot of people's expectations but it could be argued that everyone got their expectations up too high. The undercard matches were too short and the title matches didn't deliver but they certainly made up for it with the Rumble. Using the star ratings and my personal reviewer's tilt, I'm gonna slap Royal Rumble 2004 with a **1/2 out of ***** rating. An average show.
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