http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/...e/nbalive.html
Satisfied, I asked John if he wanted to tinker with the roster, maybe set up a trade for Jerry Stackhouse to more closely approximate the current Wizards' squad. I then made the mistake of leaving the room. When I returned:
"Oh... are you creating more players? I see you named that one 'Dick Peniscar...'"
"We need backcourt help."
"Ah, you've made a mistake there. You have him as a Point Guard, but he's also seven feet, eight inches tall..."
"No, that's okay. He'll compensate for his freakish height with his perfect 99 ratings in passing, shooting, speed, ball stealing, defense, and rebounding. There's a separate category for 'dunking' so I hacked into the code and give him a dunk rating of 164. That means your only chance of slowing this guy down is if he gets a good case of rimcrotch."
"Well, okay, but leave the rest of the roster as it is."
"So you just wanna play with this one guy? Because I deleted everybody else off the game. I like to pretend we used the free salary cap money to have each man killed by the mob and dumped in the Potomac."
John spent the next four hours replacing the Wizards' starting five with gigantic supermen and stocking the bench with the likes of Lenny Analstar, Pecker "the pecker" Peckerman, Rod GroinFro and "Pistol" Pete Marovich.
