As Flair continues his search for his long-lost dignity, the Dudleys helpfully suggest that he look under the table.
Bubba: "Gah! Are you sure this is going to help make us a better tag team?!?!"
D-Von: "Hey, it worked for the Bashams."
As Stevie Richards and his new ally, Invisible Victoria, hold the ring hostage, Ric Flair wisely ducks for cover.
It's always embarassing when you're trying to sell an injury, then you bang your head against the table.
An observant fan holds up a sign to show how much he's grossed out by the blatantly homoerotic in-ring action.
Soon after Cena made his mark on the paper with his signet rings, the whole crew cracked up when Josh Matthews observed, "EFIL DROW? Is that some sort of high level AD&D character or something?"
Ref: "Rey! You're finally in a non-gay mask! You look fabulous! I must... paint you!"
Noble: "He's right, Rey. It is pretty swank."
Noble reacts in fear and confusion after Nidia tells him that the WWE is just a computer-generated dream world built to keep cruisers under control.
Noble: "What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?"
Nidia: "No, Noble. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to."
After an hour, the ref flinches first, and the first ever three-way staring contest was now reduced to the final two contestants.
To be sure, the whole purpose of the match was to make Chavo look like a total tool, but did Eddie really have to do the Big Wiggle on the top turnbuckle?
Eddie: "And THIS little piggie cried wee wee wee all the way home!"
Chavo Sr: "No! Not the little piggie! *sob* That poor, poor piggie.... *sob*"
Eddie and Chavo take a break from their roughhousing to smile for a family photo.
Brock: "Holy Jesus! This is the 'Royal Rumble'? Then why the hell am I main eventing with Hardcore Holly?"
Brock would have gone for the F-5 at this moment, but when Hardcore laid a peck on his cheek, he was too confused and frightened to continue.
HBK felt uncomfortable staring another guy in the eyes, but it was all he could do to avert his gaze from Hunter's pot belly.
Hebner: "C'mon guys! Enough with the footsies! We have a match to start!"
In a heartfelt tribute to the Superbowl, Shawn and HHH do the world's best impersonation of a field goal.
HHH: "Got your nose, bitch!"
Shawn froze. The Star of David! Yahweh, the Hebrew God, was here! He was saved!
Shawn: "Yahweh, please impart on me your divine power to both make me look like a legitimate top-level wrestler, but to also appease Hunter by letting him retain the title!"
Having finished his role, Yahweh departs to watch the debut of Mel Gibson's "The Passion of Christ" in New York.
As soon as the two passed out, Hebner realized that he should have used Right Guard deodorant.
SCSA: "Which one of you was the homo again?"
Yahweh: "Aw, what the hell. Can't miss the Rumble."
"KHHHAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!"
Mick hated being on the run, but the Letter "M" was a vicious stalker.
Randy collapses after he's completely grossed out by Mick's "Bit My Own Finger Off" trick.
Realizing that there's absolutely no way he'd be winning the Royal Rumble, Nunzio uses the time productively by puttering around the ring in his invisible motor scooter.
Goldberg: "Wha---? Hoowwwwid ah git heerrrrre.... Ah'mmm soo drunkkkk..."
Brock: "Alright, Goldberg... atta boy... Lay off the hooch next time, you clown..."
Grab your partner, doh-see-doh...
As part of his taunt to mock Kurt's Olympic history, Y2J does a mean impersonation of the gymnastic high bar.
Benoit: "Who ordered the Supersize tub of lard!"
Ref: "Right here!"
The Ref was just as happy as the millions of internet fans when Benoit picked up the win, but he really didn't need to hear the Rabid Wolverine sing "Rock you like a hurricane."