Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Chuck Jones
Paul London vs. JBL (comedy)
|
Now THIS is can do!
One day, Paul London challenges JBL for the US Title. Cocky, JBL accepts, but is shocked to see London put up such a good fight that he needs OJ to lay him out for the win. The following week, London cuts a promo saying how JBL is just a coward, and how he can beat him easily.
JBL shows up and gets mad, then threatens to sodomize Paul's good friend Billy Kidman in the shower. Paul responds, "You haven't been paying attention to the storylines, have you? We're enemies now."
What follows is the first live sodomy ever shown on TV.
That week, SmackDOWN's ratings drop to a record 0.4... the 400,000 viewers primarily from Texas, where sodomy is "cool."
JBL then proceeds to go on a personal crusade to destroy every Cruiserweight in his way. Since most of them avoid him anyway, this is not too successful, but Shannon Moore unfortunately does bump into him one day. JBL and the Cabinet pummel Moore, shove him into a closet, and enter the closet. For the next ten minutes, there are shuffling sounds heard, screams, groans, wet plops, more things falling down, and finally a really loud splash. JBL comes out looking really happy.
JBL comes to the ring, only to be greeted with chants of "WEAR SOME PANTS!!!" He looks down and realizes that this is a repeat of that dream he used to have as a kid. To make matters worse, Paul London comes out in a water drunk and starts spraying ice cold water at JBL. The resulting shrinkage in his general groin area nears JBL the new nickname
JLB: Just a Little Boner.
Humiliated, Bradshaw vows revenge. At the next PPV, in a NO DQ Falls Count Anywhere Match, Bradshaw beats the crap out Paul London, totally stiffing him. He hits the Clothesline from Hell when suddenly...
RON SIMMONS WITH A BOOT OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!!
Bradshaw never saw it coming, but his old partner, who he abandoned and thus got a push, has come back to exact revenge! Farooq gives JBL a Dominator onto 49 bottles of beer, busting him up big time. He then pours beer onto Bradshaw's head, then takes a deck of cards and starts giving him paper cuts!
JBL screams in agony as Farooq beats him down. Finally, Paul London gets up onto the top rope and its a BEAUTIFUL 450 Splash!!! He then goes to the other rope and hits the London Calling!!!
London with the cover...
1....... 2.......3!!!!!!
Paul London and Farooq celebrate. As a final act of triumph, they glue coconut halves to JBl's crotch and ass cheeks. Then they glue OJ to the front coconut and Danny and Doug to the back coconuts.