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**moshingfreak** · 01-31-2004, 09:57 PM

Ross: We're live! We're live! Here at Wrestlemania 20, in MSG. Boy King we've had a hell of a show so far tonight. I just can't believe the match Jazz and the woman's locker room mirror just put on for us.

King: Oh, no doubt about it JR! When she pulled out the rubber glove and raped her opponent, my eyeballs popped out of my head! It was unbelievable.

(This is late in the card, probably just past the halfway matches. Only two matches remain. Adam Sandler's music sounds!)

The fans are on their feet, chanting "PENGUIN". And when his left testicle emerges from the crowd, everyone goes nuts!

Ross: Wow. This has got to be one of the smelliest human beings I have ever seen. The odour of this guy is incredible.

King: Oh without a doubt, JR. I heard this guy can crush a beer can with his hammer!

Sandler reaches the ring and goes his usual taunt. The crowd pops like hell. All the sudden, Pete Rose's music hits and a chorus of boo's erupts in the arena. Pete makes his way down to the ring with a used condom from his hotel bathroom. The crowd is shocked.

Garcia: The following contest is a used condom on a pole match, scheduled for 2 whole ****in hours, and is for the World Wrestling Entertainment "Sucks The Most Dick" Championship!

The bell rings.

Ross: Man oh man, this is gonna be a cock knocker. This is Adam Sandler vs. Pete ose. Perhaps two of the most annoying superstars in history are about to lock up in the squared circle, and King, my boner couldn't be higher.

The two begin exchanging pokemon trading cards and we're underway. The are jockying for Pete's jelly doughnut at this point, and it's still anybody's chess game. Pete begins to eat his opponent on the announcers table, much to everyone's surprise.

King: Holy smokes JR! That guy is eating his cock!
Ross: OH MAH GAWD, HE IS LITERALLY PENETRATING HIS PENIS.

The match continues, with Pete in control. But Adam counters with a spank to the ass. The crowd pops! Pete is back to his feet, but quickly hit with the peice of shit car! Sandler signals for his finisher, "the Turn of the Shovel"! He hits it! 1! 2! Kick-out. He goes for it again! 1! 2! Kickout!

Ross: *climaxing*, in my entire viagra taking history,I have never had an erection like this before!
King: Boy you got that right JR!

Sandler begins to get frustrated, and goes for a "That Bitch Stole My Beer" outside the ring. He begins to unload on his opponent with it, right in the left nipple, 338521 times, and the ref rings the bell. Booing erupts once again. When all the sudden, Weird Al Yankovic's music hits and he rushes down to the ring, stopping Adam Sandler's attack with a "Elmos got a Gun"! The crowd goes home.

We break for an interview with Max Mini, who is pumped for their upcoming match. This match is next!

Ross: Well ladies and gentlemen, Wrestlemania 20 is brought to you by My Ass: Bored? Have a Sniff , and by Midgets. Hungry? Why wait! Grab a Midget.
King: And by Jerichohol! Have fun in your very own home with a miniature version of Methanol!

Max Mini's music hits. The crowd is on their feet. This is by far the hugest pop of the night. Max Mini makes his way to the ring, preparing himself for the biggest match of his opponents ever. The fans die down as Giant Gonzales's music hits, and instantly everyone begins to boo so loud you can't even hear their music. He takes his time getting to the ring, spitting Jimmy Cornette into the air the whole way (Note! The preceeding line is a rep goldmine if you say the right thing!). Finally one last spit by the ropes, and the match is underway.

A long staring takes place, where Gonzales looks at the ref up and down. The two lock horns. Gonzales gets the better of his opponent, and moves 5 steps back. They lock up again, this time Max sends a double-4 to his opponent's iron. The crowd masturbates.

Ross: My those two are literally owning each other, King. I've been waiting for this match for a long time.
King: I hear you, JR. My money is on Mini though, he's gotten quite a nice house on The Strand in the past weeks. Max is really dominating the match.

The two continue changing positions, until as King says, Gonzales begins to dominate. This goes on for a good 59.37 minutes, until Max reverses with a "Get Out Of jail Free" card! The crowd is on their feet! He continues with many 3's and 4's to the board, followed by double-6. The Monopoly champion seems to be in control, as the "chairman of the Board" continues his assault. Near fall. Max goes for another pin but gets a near fall again. Then all the sudden, Gonzales tries to counter with a "Double 6" but hits the ref! The ref is down! The Monopoly Guy runs out, followed by Chance Card that tells Max to go directly to jail and strips him of his get out of jail free card, and they are stomping the hell out of the shoe! But all the sudden Bob Backlund's music hits and the crowd goes wild as they run to the ring holding a Get Out of jail Free card, and begin to clear the ring! He executes a snake eyes on the board, then a "You Win Beauty Contest, Collect $10 off every player" to Gonzales and finally a hard stiff shot with the "Run to go, collect $200", leaving him in the ring with the two contendors for this match! The crowd cheers him to hit himself when a shovel, and he is compelled by the fans to do so! He gives himself a mean shot to the face and flees the ring as the ref gains consciousness!

The fans are pulling for the ref to get up and make the cover, and he does! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! The fans are going wild with anticipation as Gonzales stalks the champion, preparing to execute the "go Directly To jail"! He connects! 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! Oh my goodness! The champ kicked out! Max locks on the mortgage, and the champ screams in agony! And passes out from the pain! Gonzales goes for the cover! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!

HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND, NEWWWWWWWWWWWWW, WORLD WRESTLING Monopoly CHAMPIONNNNNNNNN, Giant Gonzales!!!!

Ross: GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! GONZALES HIT THE POCKET OF MAX MINI AND IT WAS ALL OVER! WHAT A HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-ELLOFAMATCH. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US AND TUNE IN TO RAW TOMORROW NIGHT, UNTIL THEN IM JIM ROSS FOR JERRY LAWLER, WISHING YOU A Happy Hanukah!

01-31-2004, 09:57 PM	#4
moshingfreak Ben E. Hana Posts: 710	Ross: We're live! We're live! Here at Wrestlemania 20, in MSG. Boy King we've had a hell of a show so far tonight. I just can't believe the match Jazz and the woman's locker room mirror just put on for us. King: Oh, no doubt about it JR! When she pulled out the rubber glove and raped her opponent, my eyeballs popped out of my head! It was unbelievable. (This is late in the card, probably just past the halfway matches. Only two matches remain. Adam Sandler's music sounds!) The fans are on their feet, chanting "PENGUIN". And when his left testicle emerges from the crowd, everyone goes nuts! Ross: Wow. This has got to be one of the smelliest human beings I have ever seen. The odour of this guy is incredible. King: Oh without a doubt, JR. I heard this guy can crush a beer can with his hammer! Sandler reaches the ring and goes his usual taunt. The crowd pops like hell. All the sudden, Pete Rose's music hits and a chorus of boo's erupts in the arena. Pete makes his way down to the ring with a used condom from his hotel bathroom. The crowd is shocked. Garcia: The following contest is a used condom on a pole match, scheduled for 2 whole ***in hours, and is for the World Wrestling Entertainment "Sucks The Most Dick" Championship! The bell rings. Ross: Man oh man, this is gonna be a cock knocker. This is Adam Sandler vs. Pete ose. Perhaps two of the most annoying superstars in history are about to lock up in the squared circle, and King, my boner couldn't be higher. The two begin exchanging pokemon trading cards and we're underway. The are jockying for Pete's jelly doughnut at this point, and it's still anybody's chess game. Pete begins to eat his opponent on the announcers table, much to everyone's surprise. King: Holy smokes JR! That guy is eating his cock! Ross: OH MAH GAWD, HE IS LITERALLY PENETRATING HIS PENIS. The match continues, with Pete in control. But Adam counters with a spank to the ass. The crowd pops! Pete is back to his feet, but quickly hit with the peice of shit car! Sandler signals for his finisher, "the Turn of the Shovel"! He hits it! 1! 2! Kick-out. He goes for it again! 1! 2! Kickout! Ross: climaxing*, in my entire viagra taking history,I have never had an erection like this before! King: Boy you got that right JR! Sandler begins to get frustrated, and goes for a "That Bitch Stole My Beer" outside the ring. He begins to unload on his opponent with it, right in the left nipple, 338521 times, and the ref rings the bell. Booing erupts once again. When all the sudden, Weird Al Yankovic's music hits and he rushes down to the ring, stopping Adam Sandler's attack with a "Elmos got a Gun"! The crowd goes home. We break for an interview with Max Mini, who is pumped for their upcoming match. This match is next! Ross: Well ladies and gentlemen, Wrestlemania 20 is brought to you by My Ass: Bored? Have a Sniff , and by Midgets. Hungry? Why wait! Grab a Midget. King: And by Jerichohol! Have fun in your very own home with a miniature version of Methanol! Max Mini's music hits. The crowd is on their feet. This is by far the hugest pop of the night. Max Mini makes his way to the ring, preparing himself for the biggest match of his opponents ever. The fans die down as Giant Gonzales's music hits, and instantly everyone begins to boo so loud you can't even hear their music. He takes his time getting to the ring, spitting Jimmy Cornette into the air the whole way (Note! The preceeding line is a rep goldmine if you say the right thing!). Finally one last spit by the ropes, and the match is underway. A long staring takes place, where Gonzales looks at the ref up and down. The two lock horns. Gonzales gets the better of his opponent, and moves 5 steps back. They lock up again, this time Max sends a double-4 to his opponent's iron. The crowd masturbates. Ross: My those two are literally owning each other, King. I've been waiting for this match for a long time. King: I hear you, JR. My money is on Mini though, he's gotten quite a nice house on The Strand in the past weeks. Max is really dominating the match. The two continue changing positions, until as King says, Gonzales begins to dominate. This goes on for a good 59.37 minutes, until Max reverses with a "Get Out Of jail Free" card! The crowd is on their feet! He continues with many 3's and 4's to the board, followed by double-6. The Monopoly champion seems to be in control, as the "chairman of the Board" continues his assault. Near fall. Max goes for another pin but gets a near fall again. Then all the sudden, Gonzales tries to counter with a "Double 6" but hits the ref! The ref is down! The Monopoly Guy runs out, followed by Chance Card that tells Max to go directly to jail and strips him of his get out of jail free card, and they are stomping the hell out of the shoe! But all the sudden Bob Backlund's music hits and the crowd goes wild as they run to the ring holding a Get Out of jail Free card, and begin to clear the ring! He executes a snake eyes on the board, then a "You Win Beauty Contest, Collect $10 off every player" to Gonzales and finally a hard stiff shot with the "Run to go, collect $200", leaving him in the ring with the two contendors for this match! The crowd cheers him to hit himself when a shovel, and he is compelled by the fans to do so! He gives himself a mean shot to the face and flees the ring as the ref gains consciousness! The fans are pulling for the ref to get up and make the cover, and he does! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! The fans are going wild with anticipation as Gonzales stalks the champion, preparing to execute the "go Directly To jail"! He connects! 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! Oh my goodness! The champ kicked out! Max locks on the mortgage, and the champ screams in agony! And passes out from the pain! Gonzales goes for the cover! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!! HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND, NEWWWWWWWWWWWWW, WORLD WRESTLING Monopoly CHAMPIONNNNNNNNN, Giant Gonzales!!!! Ross: GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! GONZALES HIT THE POCKET OF MAX MINI AND IT WAS ALL OVER! WHAT A HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-ELLOFAMATCH. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US AND TUNE IN TO RAW TOMORROW NIGHT, UNTIL THEN IM JIM ROSS FOR JERRY LAWLER, WISHING YOU A Happy Hanukah!