I would rather get fucked by an automated dildo-thrusting machine whilst watching "Punjabi Prison: A Collection" followed by "The Best of Jinder Mahal" than listen to one fucking cunty Eli Drake promo. Vince Russo is more endearing as a television personality than him. He has less charisma than expired carton of lactose-free milk. An inanimate carbon rod would be a bigger draw. Zach Gowen taking a shit would be more compelling, should they manage to get footage of that and play it instead of whatever the fuck Eli Drake is trying to do. I have thought about digging into my savings and making an offer on TNA just so I can close it up and no one has to see him anymore, and his family no longer feel compelled to provide Impact with 40% of their viewing audience.
So yes...I guess you could say I am a simple fan.
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