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Old 02-23-2021, 11:24 AM   #2902
M-A-G
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Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito View Post





AEW Blood and Guts
I'd ask where the hot woman is but typically sticking the words 'woman' and 'blood' doesn't trigger pleasant images.

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March 27, 2021

Welcome to AEW Not War Games Blood and Guts! Emanating live from the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ. This landmark event marks the return of AEW going back on the road in full capacity venues after nearly a year of running exclusively out of The Daily's Place in Jacksonville, FL. Thank god the pandemic is over, now if only reality can imitate art.
Like I said before, I want to go back to only worrying about getting a chicken sandwich from Popeye's.
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The Buy In: Thunder Rosa vs. Ivelisse

AEW has a pretty big women's division and I choose to send Thunder Rosa and Ivelisse out there for a bonus match to get the crowd warmed up. As is the case with a lot of my undercard, they aren't particularly over but they clearly gelled well and the match did what I wanted it to do.

Thunder Rosa has to deal with Ivelisse's heelery including her partner Diamante getting herself ejected at some point. Thunder Rosa eventually gets some momentum going and ultimately picks up the hard-fought win via making Ivelisse tap to the Dragon Sleeper.
Winner: Thunder Rosa
***, 72% overall
Bonus points for use of the word 'heelery'.

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Four Corners Tag Match: The Butcher and The Blade vs. The Natural Nightmares (Dustin Rhodes and QT Marshall) vs. SoCal Uncensored (Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian) vs. Sammy Hager (Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager)

Tonight's opener is also a bonus match. On the buy-in show, the tag team division was put on notice that four teams would be selected via random draw to be in a match with the winning duo earning themselves a future AEW World Tag Team title match.

Again, opening matches are meant to hype up the crowd and with a whole bunch of guys in there it makes for a frantic atmosphere and plenty of opportunity for teams to hit their moves on one another, and a couple guys in this match are north of 80 overness so that helped avoid torpedoing the crowd rating.

I've mentioned Daniels' age but didn't realize that the last Dynamite coincided with his legit 51st birthday, so giving him a singles match was my gift I suppose. And he had himself a great match.

Well screw it, I'm all for trying to ride the wave while I can. With bodies flying everywhere in the fracas, Daniels busts out something a man his age shouldn't be able to do - BEST MOONSAULT EVER on QT Marshall! SCU wins! SCU have been on something of a losing skid of late but this old dog has at least one more trick up his sleeve.
Winners: SoCal Uncensored
***, 79% overall
If anyone at 51 is able to still bust out a top rope moonsault their blood needs to be studied and cryogenically stored.
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Jurassic Express (Jungle Boy, Luchasaurus, and Marko Stunt) vs. FTR and Shawn Spears

The Tully Blanchard at ringside, his team takes on even more of a Horsemen-like approach in what ends up being a fairly old school style display of teamwork. Jungle Boy playing Ricky Morton and selling the hell out of the isolation before Luchasaurus gets the hot tag and cleans house.

Marko Stunt gets tagged in, stands atop Luchasaurus' shoulders for a splash on Dax Harwood but it's broken up at the 2.999 count. Devolves into a usual brawl the ref can't contain, Tully slides brass knucks to Dax and poor little Marko gets his clock cleaned for the loss.

Even though Jurassic Express have come up on the short end for much of this feud, they play great sympathy faces and it puts over Tully's group as a bunch of dicks. If the 67 year old Blanchard is up to it, I'd pop huge for Luchasaurus press slamming him to the outside on top of his group, at least giving the fans a sense of catharsis at seeing the heel boss get a level of comeuppance.
Winners: FTR and Shawn Spears
***, 74%
You'd pop even more if 67-year old Blanchard would bust out a moonsault of his own.
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Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor vs. Miro and Kip Sabian

Orange and Miro's feud continues here with both of their partners back in tow for some tag action. Based on the rating this continued the string of yet another solid match on tonight's show. Orange and Miro eventually take their fight to the outside. Penelope Ford climbs onto the apron to distract Chuck Taylor (and boy is she ever distracting)...Kip Sabian charges Chuck from behinds, but Chuck sidesteps. Kip knocks his wife off the apron! Chuck then hits Kip with the best finisher name in the business - the Awful Waffle! Chuck and Orange win!

Miro hops back in and blindsides Chuck. Orange comes in to try to help his friend, and doesn't see Penelope has made it back into the ring where she hits him with her heel (who throws a shoe? Honestly?) The heels standing tall laughing off the loss when all of a sudden some futuristic music hits and holy shit, it's KRIS STATLANDER! We haven't seen her in action since June when she picked up a knee injury in a match with Penelope Ford! Penelope looks like she's seen a ghost, or in this case an alien. The Galaxy's Greatest Alien charges and the heels take a powder for now.
Winners: Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor
***1/4, 79% overall
OK, with all of that craziness in the match and Penelope's wonderful assets, how am I supposed to pay that much attention to it when you've got somebody with the moniker of Galaxy's Greatest Alien? I need to take a trip on Google....

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AEW Women's World Championship - Kendo Sticks Legal: Hikaru Shida vs. Awesome Kong (C)

Shida and Kong's feud culminates in a manner most violent as the two beat the shit out of each other with kendo sticks. Shida attempting to choke out Kong with a kendo stick-assisted Crossface is the first spot that came to mind in this one. Toward the end she gets Kong into a form of a Kimura Lock that Kong finds a way to get to the ropes (hey I only said kendo sticks were legal, not that there were no rules at all). Kong goes to rest on the top rope but Shida latches right back onto her in the hold, bad move - top rope Awesome Bomb counter and Kong retains.

A winded and exhausted Kong laughs devilishly in celebration and yes, she cuts off a lock of Shida's hair because dammit, she has to.
Winner and STILL AEW Women's World Champion: Awesome Kong
***, 81% overall
This gives me a warm glow inside.
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Big Money Match: "Big Money Matt Hardy vs. "Hangman" Adam Page

Tensions had been brewing between these two for the past couple of months, both as mismatched partners and now as adversaries. A lot of money at stake in this one, and so Matt tried to take every shortcut in the book only to be thwarted. Match nearing its conclusion. Dead Eye on Matt....Hangman goes to the apron, Matt stumbling to his feet, could this be the Buckshot Lariat?

Wait! Matt Hardy crumples in a heap, clutching his ankle. He rolls out to the floor in agony. The referee counts 10. Hangman is confused but happy all at the same time. He wins the money!

Matt moans in pain and calls for the mic. "Adam, you should've read the fine print on the contract you dumb cowboy. Appendix D, Section 8 CLEARLY states that the monetary stipulation is valid only if victory is achieved by pinfall or submission. You may have won the match but as far as the money goes, you get NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR!"
Winner: Adam Page
***1/2, 87% overall
Fake injury AND Willy Wonka reference? Brilliant.
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Feel Good Segment of the Night

Hangman is pissed as the crowd boos the shit out of Hardy. Suddenly, Hangman is once again blindsided by Private Party! Not again! They do a beat down on Page. Matt slides a chair into the ring, and Private Party attach it to Hangman's ankle. Matt's own ankle is now magically healed, he goes to the top rope...oh god no, they're gonna Pillmanize Hangman....



JOIN THE DARK ORDER

The crowd erupts as The Dark Order hits the ring! They fight off The Hardy Party. Dark Order tried for months to recruit Hangman into their ranks only to be politely declined as Hangman didn't want to join a group, only for Matt to keep putting them down and trying to force the issue with Hangman. Now they've shown back up for Hangman when they've needed him most.

Hangman gets to his feet and sees the Dark Order looking at him. The Dark Order all do their hand salute. Hangman looks conflicted on what to do as the crowd chants "YES". He finally does the salute and everyone loses their shit. Brings a case of beer into the ring as the Dark Order all drink and hug it out.

Rating: 85% overall....and somehow John Silver was the only member of Dark Order to gain overness. Probably stole the scene with his facial expressions. John Silver = ratings
I like how your segments flow into each other and that there's a payoff. Is Silver designated as the leader in the stable? The game typically awards any over points earned in a segment to the leader. The other possibility is his charisma is fairly respectable.

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AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Inner Circle (Chris Jericho and Maxwell Jacob Friedman) vs. The Young Bucks (C)

Another feud blown off on this one as the top alpha dogs of the Inner Circle try one last chance to win the gold with Jericho's threat of breaking the group up looming.

This was, as you could probably expect from the Bucks at this point, another red hot affair with everyone being super over and the crowd eating up everything. Jericho, not wanting to be outdone by Daniels in the 50 year old athletic move department, tries a Lionsault but gets a knee to the gut! MJF superkicked off the apron Jericho is picked up and the Bucks drive him to the mat with the Meltzer Driver! Bucks win!!! Bye bye Inner Circle!
Winners and STILL AEW World Tag Team Champions: The Young Bucks
****, 91% overall
I'm willing to wager in real life Daniels has the edge over Jericho as far as athleticism is concerned.

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Main Event - the first ever BLOOD AND GUTS match: AEW TNT Champion Darby Allin, Cody Rhodes, PAC, Rey Fenix, and Jon Moxley vs. AEW World Champion Kenny Omega, Brian Cage, Eddie Kingston, Santana, and Ortiz

The game is pretty lazy with writing up War Games Blood and Guts matches, just listing random spots without much about the actual match. I can only assume Cody would've started the match out of pride, and Eddie Kingston not wanting to be outdone would've been in there to start against his rival. Not coincidentally, these two are probably the most likely in the match to get color. Not that I'm a proponent of blade jobs but you really think Cody isn't gonna gig himself in this one?

Anyway I just imagine various spots, mostly people throwing themselves with reckless abandon off the cage. Darby Allin doing a Coffin Drop onto everybody. Fenix doing some flippy stuff off the cage. Brian Cage trying to powerbomb folks through the cage wall. Santana/Ortiz bringing the madball into the cage and whipping the crap out of people. God help us if Moxley decides to pay homage to Foley with thumbtacks, Blood and Guts indeed.

The important thing though is the finish. The match can only end when someone surrenders, and that's exactly what happens when the face team manage to get the heel team at bay and PAC locks in a Brutalizer on Omega. Omega surrenders! PAC just made the AEW World Champion give up!

Winners: The Face Team
***1/4, 83% overall.......well, the game gets lazy and gives it basically the same rating as the regular 10 man tag, fuck you! I say ****1/2!
Uh, I thought we agreed on The Superfriends? Anyways, I figure it's the duty of any Rhodes offspring to bleed like a stuck pig. Hell, I imagine little Dakota running into a tree and just turning the playground sandbox into a sea of blood. War Games isn't necessarily infallible, remember. *cough*1998*cough* There had to have been two guys involved whose stats didn't click.

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82% Overall Show Rating

That show ruled. A whole night of ***+ matches is pretty fantastic for a non-MAG promotion.
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It was a pretty great show. 'Non-M-A-G show' should be a permanent term.
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