[Simple Fan]

From JR's one man show after Raw Monday. Cornette was the guest and some his stuff is pretty funny so I figured I'd post it.

Jim Ross held a one man show Monday night after RAW at the House of Blues in Dallas, TX. Here is a report from the show: * The show started over twenty minutes late, and while the crowd waited they sang “Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” by Aerosmith. The venue is a legit sellout with an overflow of fans trying to get in. * On WrestleMania 9, Jim Ross said that Bobby Heenan told him not to wear underwear under his toga. Heenan added it would impress Vince McMahon and show him to be a “Man’s Man”. * On WrestleMania 19, JR said Steve Austin drank too much coffee and energy drinks the night before the event and spent the night in the hospital, which is why Kurt Angle and Brock Lensar closed the show. * On NXT Takeover Dallas, Ross says Triple H got him his tickets to NXT. He called it a helluva show, and that he particularly went for the Shinsuke-Zayn and Joe-Balor matches. He added he was pleasantly surprised by the women’s title match and that “they laid their shit in”. He was asked if he knew the match order and the finishes and he said he didn’t know either. * Ross’ special guest for the night is Jim Cornette. * Ross thinks AJ Styles was positioned well tonight after RAW, and that being in the main event of RAW gave all four guys street cred. * Cornette said that the only reason he’s unhappy to see Cesaro in a singles run is because he thought Claudio and Chris Hero were the best tag team of the modern era. * JR admits Jim Cornette knows the Wrestling business better than he does. * Cornette made a joke saying Kevin Owens is Kevin Steen’s slave name. * Cornette said he wanted Owens to take twelve shows off, lose some weight, shave his beard and wash his clothes in ROH so they could put the title on him. When Owens refused he questioned why he wouldn’t do what the people paying him would tell him to do, and that in the WWE, “Homie Don’t Play That”. Cornette said he worried that if Owens didn’t lose the weight he would break his neck working the way he does. * JR said he’s worked for three billionaires: Vince, Turner and now Mark Cuban. He called Cuban a good friend he’s never met. * JR said he doesn’t have NJPW World because he doesn’t speak Japanese and their sign up sheet is in Japanese. He added he wants to go to Japan and do every night of the G1 for NJPW live for AXS TV. He has plans but there’s a lot of moving parts. * JR revealed he didn’t stop broadcasting in WWE because he couldn’t do it, he stopped broadcasting because they didn’t want him to do it. * JR said Shinsuke Nakamura, in his opinion, will be in NXT until Summerslam and could be in the main event of WrestleMania next year. Cornette said NXT has more talent than the main roster, and that WWE needs to send some main roster talent to NXT and NXT talent to the main roster. * JR said Samoa Joe’s NXT injury at Takeover wasn’t so bad that the match should have been stopped. JR said at the end of the Joe-Balor match he wanted to see Joe vs Lesnar. * JR said Mick Foley got hired because he matched up well with Undertaker. * Cornette said the only TNA PPV to draw money was the one main evented between Joe & Angle, and Joe & Lesnar should main event Mania next year. * JR said Rick Rude & British Bulldog belong in the WWE Hall of Fame. * JR thinks the best card all weekend was NXT Takeover. * JR said he asked Michael Cole after WrestleMania if his kidneys hurt because he went five hours without peeing, and that depends were a trick of the trade. * Cornette said he is sick and tired of the comedy writers and other writers telling wrestlers how to be wrestlers and get over. That was his biggest complaint about the product. He added he wants the product to approach something that appears to be legitimate but that everyone is too caught up in being an entertainer and not being a fighter. * Cornette HATES Donald Trump, in general. * Cornette continues about how Trump bad for the country and the world thinks we are all bafoons. * Cornette said Shane is his favorite McMahon. But by Shane taking a huge bump like he did at ‘Mania makes people care less about a backdrop. He added they had to pull Cactus Jack back from doing the big bumps he wanted to do. * Cornette compares current wrestling to current porn in that it’s gotten so over the top and unbelievable. * JR says Zack Ryder is an interim champion that got some buzz around the title and that if he’s really good it will come back around to him. He added that Miz and Maryse are a good pair and at least we are talking about the IC Title. He says the US Title is about as valuable as a plate full of piss. * JR said all three shows this weekend were sell outs and that he has some really neat ideas for his WM33 shows. JR said he’s had a 40 year career but wouldn’t change a thing. He still loves business, and he says don’t let anyone else you come into contact with define your life. If a chubby kid with paralysis can achieve his dreams you can too. * That’s the end of the show.