[M-A-G]

SmackDown!: November 30, 2040

Opening Match: The Wyldhearts vs. The Future Foundation
The new Unified Tag Team Champions are ready to get down to business by welcoming all comers. They run down the Future Foundation as to how the show is on the other foot. Rick Hilton fires back that the Wyldhearts shouldn't be bragging about anything since they couldn't become champions by beating him and Julian when they were the ones holding the belts. The Future Foundation will bring these posers crashing back down to Earth with just this one match! The rating reflects just how awesome an opener this is. I should've made the Wyldhearts champions a long time ago. Well, either way, they'd have brought out some sick matches with the Royal Effect. Speaking of which, the former champions run down during this affair, looking none to happy about no longer having the belts. They attack Robbie and Blaine as they're setting up Rick Hilton for the Heartstopper. It's a DQ win for the champions but they're in a bad here. Luckily, The Love Connection runs down to make things even again and we have a 4-on-4 stand off to end things here. ****1/2, 93% overall.

SPORTZ ENTERTAINMENT! TIME as Jason Sorola wants to rap with us and comes out to the ring. He wants to talk about how sick he is of his past. He left that pack of village idiots in Ryan Pattillo, Michael Haywood, and ESPECIALLY Gavin Jones so he could spread his wings and make his own name. By the way, everybody should be voting for Jason Sorola for Cruiserweight of the Year! Putting up with the crap he does on a weekly basis should guarantee him that even though he's not the champion. But Sorola realizes that he can't get another crack at that title until he's finally dealt with the garbage at his front porch. So right now he's DEMANDING that Gavin Jones get his ass out here and hear Sorola out, because this business needs to be addressed one way or another.

Gavin eventually comes out looking well annoyed. Gaving declares that he hopes Jason isn't going to try to pour on the guilt because Gavin feels no shame in knowing what loyalty is. He is ashamed of Sorola and he's more than happy to deal with him physically so by all means, let's all hear how Sorola wants to address this business.

Sorola smiles and says that he knew Gavin wasn't going to be able to get over the fact that Sorola eliminated him at Survivor Series, just like how he hasn't been able to get over being apart from his "bros". Maybe if Gavin spent less time moping and more time following Sorola's example, things wouldn't be where they are right now. But as things stand now, Sorola is infinitely superior to Gavin and any one else in the cruiserweight division! And Sorola will prove it if Gavin is willing to accept his challenge. This Monday, one-on-one, in a 2 out of 3 falls match!

Gavin asks if Sorola has truly gone off the deep end. He's basically asking for Gavin to embarass him TWICE in one night. So of course he accepts and he hopes Sorola will regret the day he ever betrayed the crew.

Ian Moore pops on the Tron to interrupt this bit and asks the two of them to pump the brakes because neither one of them is in charge and they can just go around making things for the show on their own accord. "Besides, you guys didn't even think of what I'm going to add on top of this match on Monday. The winner will get to go to Bragging Rights as the number one contender to the Cruiserweight Title! Have fun, you all!" So that settles that.

Second Match: Dusk vs. Phoebe Hanson
Phoebe is looking to right a perceived wrong from Survivor Series. Dusk continues to make great strides in getting over. They stumble out of the ring and continue to slug it out as they ignore the count and that's going to be a draw as they both fail to get back in the ring. Dusk has Phoebe down and looks like she's going to really put the hurt on her but Faith Connors comes on down to get in the way of that. Dusk merely glares at Faith as she decides to back away and take Sorrow with her. Dusk has managed to make another enemy in such a short time frame. ****1/4, 89% overall.

Backstage Jenna Kyle is PUMPED about being named the number one contender to the Women's Title. She knows that it's not really over between herself and Leah because she knows that once she reclaims the gold, they're all going to be coming for her. And her next reign will be no different from any others; she'll take them all on. Naomi Bailey decides to get in Jenna's face as she's still not letting go of the fact that she feels Sonya robbed her at Survivor Series. Who the hell does Jenna think she is? Jenna says that she's the woman who embarassed Naomi at SummerSlam. She's the woman who alongside her partner, Faith, made history as the first ever Women's Tag Team Champions. Jenna accuses Naomi of talking a good game but all she's going to be known for in this year, is being such a whiny sack of tears that even her own cousin couldn't take it anymore. Naomi shoves Jenna in response to this and Jenna leaps onto the former champion and we might have ourselves a fight but officials step in to pull the two apart.

Third Match: WWE Cruiserweight Title
The Hero to Millions Around the World, the Host With THE Highest Rated Interview Show In All of Entertainment, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Mister Twenty-Forty, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody(c) vs. Lyle Morris
Ian Moore makes the decree that all of Hotbody's associates are banned from ringside for this. Hotbody declares that this just another piece of evidence of the LUNATIC CONSPIRACY against him! Lisa Benton had better hope she never comes back because she's going to be DROWNING IN LITIGATION! Hotbody is on the cusp of immortality and he keeps having to deal with nonsense like this! So with that little tirade out of the way, Lyle takes the fight to Hotbody and doesn't let up. Lyle has the champ on the ropes so naturally Hotbody must resort to his superior strategy. He rolls out of the ring and tries to hide under the ring. Lyle follows and raises the apron to try to get to the champ while the ref looks on. Hotbody comes out the other side and grabs his title belt and slips back in and nails the ref from behind with it. Lyle realizes what's happening and slides back in to get his hands on Hotbody. Hotbody takes a swing but Lyle ducks and snatches the belt away but Hotbody, using his cat-like reflexes and ingenuity, punts Lyle in the balls and the challenger goes down. Hotbody looks to capitalize BUT HERE COMES CHET MORRIS!!! And his chair friend! Hotbody is fucked! He starts backing away as Chet enters the ring....and then watches as Chet blasts Lyle in the head as he's trying to get back up! WTF?!?!?!? Chet gets the ref back to his senses and then rolls out as Hotbody hits the Hot Ticket on the fallen Lyle and the ref counts the pin and that allows Hotbody to retain!

CHET ISN'T DONE!!! He stands over his fallen cousin as Luscious comes down to take her boo away. Chet ponders his next move for a bit and then commences to just rain fists down on Lyle. He's still not done! He flips Lyle over and proceeds to abuse him with the chair repeatedly until the damn thing is bent out of shape. Not to fear, as there are spares around the ring and thus Chet drage Lyle to the outside and proceeds to use more chair-related brutality on his cousin. Lyle is a bloody mess and it's only going to get worse as Chet sandwiches Lyle's head in between the seat and then stomps on it, crushing Lyle's throat. What the hell has gotten into Chet for him to do this?!?!? *****, 94% overall.

Fourth Match: Michael Haywood and The Academy vs. Ziggy Styles, Ronnie Costello, and Salvatore Scabbia
We're shown what went down at Survivor Series between Styles and Haywood, where the latter refused to let go of the Rage Quit. Ziggy declares that he shouldn't even be here! Michael Haywood is a lunatic and thus he leaves Ziggy no choice but to PERMANENTLY REVOKE his standing invitation to join him in getting Ziggy with it!!! Ziggy hates that he has to resort to such drastic measures for punishment, but maybe it'll go a long way in teaching Michael Haywood to not be such a sour puss all the time! The match is kick ass despite all that word salad. The end comes when Scabbia tags himself in as Haywood whips Styles into the ropes. Haywood flapjacks Ziggy and then starts to lock in the Rage Quit but Scabbia comes from behind with the Omerta! Haywood struggles in agony as Ziggy recovers enough to mock him to his face and eventually Haywood passes out. ****1/2, 90% overall.

In Ring Super Special Talky Time with the Money in the Bank briefcase holder Brandon Reigns! He actually has it handcuffed to him and he explains that it's necessary to do so in order to prevent any more Eddy Clash wannabes or even Eddy himself from taking what's rightfully his! He's somewhat disappointed to see that his Money in the Bank win isn't a nominee for any Slammys but if can walk away with Superstar of the Year, then he can overlook that little slight. The year 2040 is going to be synonymous with Brandon Reigns and next year is going to be more of the same. The days until the inevitable are getting smaller in number. Second by second, minute by minute, we are all slowly inching our way to the moment of truth, where Brandon Reigns makes his ascension to the top of the mountain and claims the Unified World Title with the power of this briefcase. So this offer is on the table to anyone who thinks they can sour the mood and make a last minute ditch effort to make a name for themselves, Brandon Reigns is opening the door for anybody to come take a swing. Just be aware of all the bodies right in front, like Jake Connelly, Connor Buchanan, Eddy Clash, et cetera, et cetera!

This is going to call for Kerry Cemenko to make himself known and he joins Reigns in the ring. Kerry brings up the fact that he feels even more terrible about not winning the Unified World Title earlier this year. It would've been even sweeter to be at WrestleMania and watch the look on Brandon's face after he failed to cash in the briefcase after so much talk. Reigns is aghast that Cemenko is insulting him but Cemenko counters by asking how could he not? Reigns threw away an opportunity to have another title shot by refusing to be in the King of the Ring tournament. He also didn't bother to use the case to claim the title when it was vacated not that long ago. Reigns is putting A LOT of eggs in this one basket, and all Cemenko is trying to say is that it's going to be open season on Reigns if WrestleMania comes to pass and this whole master plan doesn't pan out.

Reigns points out that at least he actually has eggs, unlike Cemenko. Cemenko counters that he has the "huevos" to stand up to a guy like Reigns. Reigns says good on him but this isn't the World Standing Federation. Cemenko says it's also not the World Get Knocked On Your Ass Federation, but that's what's going to happen to Reigns anyway. Cemenko clotheslines Reigns down. Reigns tries to bail but the handcuffs prove to be a hinderance as Cemenko merely grabs the case and prevents Reigns from leaving. Cemenko pulls Reigns in but Reigns meets him with a forearm, causing Cemenko to lose his grip and allowing Reigns to bail.

Fifth Match: Hugo vs. Raymond Delaney
We're back to HUGO SMASH!!! He still hasn't explained his actions and I don't foresee that happening here tonight. I do foresee a lot of pain and loss in Delaney's future though as he suffers the Moonsault Crush from Hugo and gets pinned. Hugo gets on the mic and stares off into space with a crazed look and merely says, "I've been set free..." WTF does that mean? ****1/2, 91% overall.

More SPORTZ ENTERTAINMENT! Time as the lights go out and when they return, the mystery man who was all up in Haven's business on Sunday and Monday is in the ring. He says that it's only appropriate that introductions are finally in order. He is named Victor Dark and he is here to save everyone from the fraud that is Haven.

"I need to make it clear that I am not here to fight Haven. I don't even consider him an enemy. He is merely a disappointment. A disappointment like that does not deserve to be called a champion in any walk of life, much less a champion all of you should praise and encourage. Here is the ugly history between myself and Haven. The WWE isn't the first tent he's tried to bring his brainwashing message under. I met Haven at a commune many years back, and like so many unfortunate minds that fell under his sway, I was what you would call a lost soul. So desparate was I for guidance and acceptance that I came to believe in him and his message. But the truth eventually came to fruition. He wasn't about saving us. He was about power. That's the only explanation one can draw from his decision to ditch us all and come here. Haven would have had all that power if he had won on Sunday. I couldn't live with myself if I saw him get his hands on the thing that would allow him to have unlimited influence on so many innocent minds. I would have been here sooner, and it's a shame to have witnessed so many victims get suckered in by him, but I'm here now and Haven can't escape his past anymore. He's going to have to face up to it. And as much as I don't actually want to get physical with him, I'll have to force him to face it if he is inclined to be stubborn."

Well, we all knew this wasn't going to be a solo outing for long as the music of Haven hits and the Dark Shepherd himself walks out on stage. He addresses Victor in an angry tone. "Victor, I know that there's no way you came here under your own devices. Someone had to have brokered a way in for you. So where is she?"

"Oh, are things unraveling for you, Evan? That's right, his real name is Evan. You people don't have to keep him on that pedestal anymore. I'm here to save you all. Look at him. He knows what kind of force I am. He knows that I can undo him. But since you're so curious about 'her', well, by all means you're welcome to see for yourself. Andrea, come on out!"

Haven looks perplexed and right behind him appears a young lady with a haunting expression on her face as she gazes at the now shocked Haven. "You weren't really expecting this, were you?" Victor asks. "Well, Andrea is also going to be at my side from here on out. And everything that happens by our hand, Evan, is all on you." Andrea takes her leave without saying a word as Haven continues to look bewildered. Seriously, WTF is going on???

Backstage, Nathan Quinn runs into Ian Moore. Quinn wants to rip on Moore for playing favorites with Paul Andrews after giving one of his clients the deal that he asked for. Quinn was always better than Moore and it makes him sick that Moore has the position that he does. Quinn doesn't rely on crap like that to get ahead. Paul Andrews interrupts the proceedings by asking what's going on. Quinn accuses Andrews of trying to get another favor from his buddy. Andrews claims that his girls can get the attention and accolades without any politicking. Ian says that's good to hear because he's got an idea for the two of them. They can each pick one of their women to have a match on Raw. If Nathan's pick wins, she'll get added to the Women's Title match at Bragging Rights. But if Paul's pick wins, the Southern Belles defend their Women's Tag Team Titles against the Perfections at Bragging Rights. "Have fun on Monday," Ian says before leaving. Nathan is all smiles and declares that Paul is set for even more humiliation come Monday. "Now, if you'll excuse me. I've got a client that's about to become the number contender for the Unified Title."

MAIN EVENT: Adamn Hail vs. Ryan Pattillo
This will determine who will face the Unified World Champion at Bragging Rights. I actually don't recall if these two ever had a match when Adam was around on his first run. Either way, they know how to have a good main event, Adam's lack of charisma notwithstanding. It comes to an end when Nathan tries some heel manager chicanery but Simon Bennett comes running down to get him a piece of his former manager, yanking him off the apron causing him to hit the edge. Adam Hail is beside himself and yells at Simon, but Pattillo isn't done with the match and he hits the Shutdown on a distracted Hail and gets the pin, sending him to the main event at Bragging Rights. ****1/2, 91% overall.

Overall show rating: 87%