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I just fantasy booked a more succinct card. There's no way it happens, obviously, but I managed to get it down to 11 matches, with basically everybody important getting a spot. I purposely left off guys that would be pushing a return because they'll be back from injury. Hold them off. I also passed on a Triple H match, which is completely unrealistic.
Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship
John Cena (c) vs. Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles
Universal Championship
Roman Reigns (c) vs. The Undertaker
Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar III
Big Show vs. Shaquille O'Neal
The Rock's Segment
The Miz comes out and complains about now having a WrestleMania match. Rusev comes out and he and Miz bicker about who are the best power couple in WWE. James Ellsworth and Carmella join the fray. The Rock and Ronda Rousey come out and beat everyone up.
Cruiserweight Championship
Neville (c) vs. Kota Ibushi
Snake Bight Street Fight
Bray Wyatt vs. Luke Harper
Fatal 4-Way for the Unified Women's Championship
Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley
Unified WWE Tag Team Championship
Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens vs. American Alpha
United States Championship
Sami Zayn (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
Six-Man Tag Team Match
Braun Strowman, Sheamus & Cesaro vs. The New Day
Intercontinental Championship
Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Samoa Joe
* Joe wins the IC Title after forcing Ambrose into the Coquina Clutch.
* The New Day pick up the win when Cesaro is clocked by the trombone while he has a New Day member in the Sharpshooter. Strowman Chokeslams Sheamus and Cesaro after the match.
* Nakamura successfully completes his journey to the United States by capturing its championship in his main roster debut.
* American Alpha, backed by Hulk Hogan, unify the RAW and SmackDown Tag Team Championship. Jericho & Owens beat Hogan down at ringside at one point, but this allows Gable to tag out and Jordan to clean house and force Jericho to submit to the Ankle Lock.
* Becky Lynch unifies the Women's Championship in a Clash of the Four Horsewomen. Sasha Banks taps out away Charlotte's PPV streak for her.
* Luke Harper wins a wild brawl against Bray Wyatt when he finally connects with Sister Abigail to his former mentor.
* Kota Ibushi and Neville tear it up and deliver what is surely to be a MOTY candidate. Ibushi wins the CW Title, making it a great night for Japanese stars in the WWE. Prior to the match, we are shown many cruiserweight legends in the crowd, including Dean Malenko who pulls off a Ciclope mask. I want that spot, dammit.
* The Miz complains right after such a great match about how he is too good a wrestler to be left off WrestleMania. Rusev comes out, Ellsworth comes out, The Rock cleans it all up and introduces the special attraction match.
* Shaq beats Big Show in a carefully put together match.
* Goldberg beats Brock Lesnar defying the odds once again.
* Roman Reigns successfully defends his custom-made belt against The Undertaker, getting huge heat in the process. This is his yard now.
* AJ Styles wins the WWE Title in the true main event when he forces Cena to submit to the Calf-Crusher.
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