[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G SmackDown!: August 31, 2040 Final show of the month! Things have gone well enough to where I'm not regretting moving over to 4.2. I'm sure that will change when some other random thing decides to take Jenna and/or Faith from me for whatever fucking reason. Let's try to finish the month of August on a high note! We open with the FIRST EVER WWE Women's Tag Team Champions, The Lonely Girls. Seeing as we're in Faith's home country of Canada she is of course over as fuck. Faith takes the time to get a sweeping shot of the crowd on the Runner Cam as part of this, presumably, celebration. Jenna is tolerated as Faith vouches for her even though the last time they were both in Canada she got booed mercilessly. Faith says that it's a whole new set of circumstances between her and Jenna and that it should be taken as a sign that things, no matter how hard you may fight against it, are subject to change. It's inevitable and there's no need to look any further than what the two of them are holding in their possession as proof of that. Jenna talks about what a historical night it was at SummerSlam. Things have been so hectic this last week that she and Faith haven't really had the time to soak it all in and actually enjoy the fruits of their labors. Well, they're taking the night off as it's a Friday and Faith told Jenna that Toronto has got some of the hottest spots on the town when it comes to Canada. Tonight will be a night for revelry and maybe some drunken karaoke. But they haven't forgotten their responsibilities. They know that there is an ocean full of sharks ready to strike and try to stake their claim to this new championship. The Lonely Girls will be waiting and ready. Faith puts an exclamation point on this spiel by pointing out that if her and Jenna fought like hell to win the belts, you can be damn sure they'll fight twice as hard to keep them. Until then, Toronto, let's have ourselves a hell of a time! The segment ends with Jenna and Faith playing to the crowd and making their exit through the arena while interacting with the people.

The Lonely Girls - celebrating amongst a sea of people and well wishers. I love me an ironic name!

I also like to imagine they worked the post-show dark match...just for you, Toronto!

Backstage, we're joined by the lovely Luscious and her man, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody and Zed Jones! Hotbody wants to talk about those two criminals, Jordan Demiras and Martyn LaSalle, making a mess of things on Raw. Nobody invited Jordan Demiras back unless Martyn LaSalle wants to fess up to it. And if he did invite Demiras back, there needs to be SERIOUS INQUIRIES into what sort of hijinx they're up to! Hotbody isn't a lying fraud. Hotbody actually announces when he'll be showing up because he wants the fans to know when to tune in to see him. He's not about deception and flirting with legal woes unlike those two delinquents. There is an 8-man main event tonight but Hotbody wants to make it clear that LaSalle and Demiras have no further business with him as they've both been conquered and vanquished. They should consider this their only warning as after tonight Hotbody wants nothing to do with them anymore!

Galino & Farnes' finisher definitely needs to be changed to SERIOUS INQUIRIES, complete with all caps.

First Match: Shawn Dangerson vs. Romeo Valiente Sophie Waters joins the commentary team to talk about the challenge she laid out to Luscious in regards to the Cruiserweight Title. Hotbody has bigger problems on his hands than just Demiras and LaSalle is Shawn Dangerson manages to get a title shot. This is a hell of an opener as Valiente is a great veteran and knows what to do to put a guy over. Dangerson continues his path of destruction with another tap out win via the Danger Zone. *****. 94% overall.

Hella deep cruiserweight division - could dedicate an entire episode of Superstars to a Cruiserweight Open style gauntlet of some kind, except of course nobody could be in more than three matches in a row.

Second Match: WWE Women's Champion Naomi Bailey and Eclypse vs. The Jersey Experience The heels don't look like they're quite on the same page. Naomi talks about how upset she is over what happened at SummerSlam. History was ripped from her and there needs to be consequences for that! She rips Jenna and Faith for using tonight as an excuse to party while she's stuck here with Eclypse. They had better find the time to watch her tonight and what she does, though, because they'll be getting the same. Anyways, the match unfolds with Eclypse more often than not looking like she's not thrilled with what Naomi said. It boils down to Frankie and Naomi as things break down. Frankie tries a running charge but Naomi 'accidentally' pulls Eclypse into the path and the champion capitalizes by hitting Frankie with the Bail Out to score the pin. Eclypse continues to look upset. ****1/2, 93%

Oh come on Eclypse, take one for the team! It's all about the greater good.

Third Match: Quentin McDaniels vs. El Silencio Not much here other than giving McDaniels a strong outing, hampered by Silencio's low charisma. They get through fine enough as McDaniels scores a clean pin after the Great Depression. ****1/2, 91% overall.

****1/2, 91% overall, "they got through fine enough" I do wonder the extent to which charisma plays a role in match ratings, I always thought that it mostly impacted interviews and segments whereas matches were based on overness and ring work.

Cue Brandon Reigns who's got his hands full of piss and vinegar...and the Money in the Bank briefcase. He tries to run down and take a swing with it but Seth ducks and it flies loose. Seth sets up for the Collapse of Society but Reigns escapes and bails. Seth gets a hold of the briefcase and taunts Reigns with it. Reigns is furious and demands its return so Seth just chucks it into the crowd! Someone got themselves a souvenir! Reigns continues his tantrum on the outside as we go to break.

Eww, hope he sanitized his hands thoroughly. Love the idea of the MITB briefcase being chucked into the crowd. Be a funny way to debut somebody actually, a plant in the audience catches the briefcase and attempts to finagle their way onto the active roster because they claim they are owed a title match now.

Fourth Match: Ozzy Mandias vs. Lyle Morris I've let Ozzy slip through the cracks so I figure get him back on TV as he delivers the cruiserweight goods. Perhaps he can be the one to unseat Hotbody? A question for another time as Lyle Morris gives him more than enough of a challenge here. Ozzy connects with the Blizzard of Oz to pick up the win. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Hotbody has a line of wrestlers five miles long waiting to wrestle that title away from him, if he ever does lose the title he should just create his own and act like he never lost it.

Sixth Match: King Kavovit vs. Gavin Jones Kavovit demands that Michael Haywood be sent to the back in THE INTEREST OF FAIRNESS! Moses McKay sadly can't be here because of the Play Pals' deviousness so it's only right that Jones doesn't have any back up either. Haywood does, indeed, go to the back as Jones assures him that things are OK here. It's another hot match tonight as the feud between these teams is still awesome despite one guy being suspended...er, injured.... Anyways, Kavovit takes advantage of the fact that there's no one in the corner of Jones as he goes for the FOREIGN OBJECT OF EXTREME HUMILIATION and nails Jones to score the cheap win. *****, 99% overall. When I end this feud it's going to be fire.

Christ I hope it's not a non-clicky show when you end the feud, just need that one final percentage point for the full monty!

MAIN EVENT: The Dillingers, Jordan Demiras, and Martyn LaSalle vs. The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody, Zed Jones, and Galino & Farnes The heels come out in a conga line with Zed leading the way but him not actually dancing and still doing his silent straight man bit. Hotbody brags about the size of his on-screen name display and that there's no one on the opposing team that can even come close to all of those achievements! Hotbody-Mania continues to run wild and there is no one that can stop it! He's got the muscle! He's got the hotness! He's got the brains! And that's not even including his team! He makes out with Luscious until the faces get sick of the whole thing and start the match by attacking the heels. It's a crazy affair as you'd expect as Jordan Demiras looks to shake some of the ring rust off. Ultimately, it's down to Joey Dillinger and Hotbody and Luscious decides to get revenge for her make out session being interrupted and uses the same spray she used on Martyn LaSalle weeks ago. Hotbody capitalizes with the Hot Ticket to pick up the win for his team. His team quickly gets him out of there before anyone else can try to get them some. ****1/2, 91% overall.

More goodness here.....straight faced Zed leading the conga line Luscious had a valid beef for having her makeout session interrupted, would've been hilarious had Hotbody just tagged out and made it effectively a 3 on 4 handicap match as he makes out with Luscious until it's time to tag in and steal a win.