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Old 07-13-2004, 04:46 PM   #1
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Old 07-13-2004, 04:46 PM   #2
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Old 07-13-2004, 05:16 PM   #3
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No one was quite sure exactly why Jerry was drooling over an anorexic Susanne Summers.


"This is for insulting Bret AND Mick!!!"


Flair was having a great time with his sex doll until the head accidentally fell off (pun intended).


Even locked in the figure four, Shane still insisted on slapping the referee.


"And the final question, ma'am... do you have some Connecticut Blueblood in you, and if not, would you like some?"


Eugene had to be careful. The Chris Benoit High Chair was notorious for being unstable.


Chris amazes the crowd with his "stab my throat with my own thumb" trick.


Eugene never expected the crucifix to go after retards.


It wasn't the sharpshooter that hurt as much as it was the fact that Eugene had hemorrhoids.


How to get out of a Crossface:
Step 1: Distract opponent by indicating the presense of Big Bird in the stands.
Step 2: Bite his wrist.


Ref: "Aw geez, Eugene, you really DO have some major hemorrhoids!"


JR: "Pedigree!!!"


Eugene wins the title and immediately gets ready to make his payment.


Trips should have known better than to mess with someone who had mastered the Butterfly Effect.


It took all his might and the added grip of Eugene to prevent Randy from slipping after he stepped on one of Chuck Palumbo's banana peels.


Never! Steal Evolution Kool Aid.


Steven Richards came to Eugene's salvation, though, hitting all of Evolution with his darts before they could inflict further harm.
Last edited by Corkscrewed; 07-13-2004 at 05:32 PM.
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Old 07-13-2004, 05:26 PM   #4
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I'll try to do the rest later, but a couple quickies...


More proof that Flair is getting senile -
Hurricane: I said suck it old man!
Flair: X-Pac! Who did you suck to get back in the WWE?
Hurricane:


Eugene didn't appreciate the fact that Benoit had eaten a huge burrito before their match. Playing the fart game on your opponent was just so childish!


The fans were disappointed to discover that Benoit was actually HHH's puppet. Eugene supplied the proof by borrowing him from HHH's locker room, bringing him to the ring, and showing how HHH shoved his hand up Benoit's ass to make him talk.


Eugene to fan: Here you wanna play too? Come on. Shove your hand up his ass! It's fun!
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Old 07-13-2004, 11:30 PM   #5
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"Rhyyynnooooooo!!!!!!!!"


Raise your hand if you think the Diva Search is a waste of time.


The mere prospect of Rhyno actually getting a pin caused to universe to fade out of existence.


The mood in the arena really brightened up when Tajiri started doing the Mexican hat dance.


Kane: "So, you know... I mean, if you're in the mood, could you, um, lie down in a coffin and hold your breath for about ten min-... what?"


Hurricane: "Oh my God! Hey, Ric, you know when I pull your skin like this, you look just like David Flair!"
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Old 07-14-2004, 12:19 AM   #6
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Well, Donny's let himself go a bit, and Marie has had plastic surgeory to cover up that Mormonity


Hurricanes new "War On Due Payers" gimmick was so over with the crowd when he went after Bob Holly


...and now, Ric Flairs "Head Shrinking" trick



Benoit: Its Posessed



Why you shouldnt startle an Orton-Dinsmore Centaur^^
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Old 07-14-2004, 02:50 AM   #7
Mayo
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King: After months of painstaking negotiations, the WWE has finally signed the talented Jennifer Lopez!


Hurricane: Only my mother can call me Gregory! Payback's a bitch, old man!


Flair was such a prankster; here he is seen wrapping a dog collar around Hurricane's neck after taking off his pants during his nap.


Flair: What's that I see? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, its some internet geek throwing water balloons at me. You fucking young punk!


Girl: Oh Stevie, its bigger than I thought!


Eugene wondered if he could replace a retard in the Whitehouse after seeing the sign behind him.


Benoit had surely lost a step after wrestling so hard during his career. His patented double nose clearing technique was way off.


Eugene could try as he might, but he would never do the Tickler like Dupree.


Eugene: Ouch, this hurts a lot more than when The Rock does it.


Eugene: Oh there's my mom! Hey mom, how's it... OWW!!! Benoit, that's not the fucking cream filling!


Benoit's emphatic DDT wasn't enough to keep him elevated.


Ref: Fuck, Benoit is hungry tonight! I wonder who told him that Eugene was filled with cream!
HHH: *whistling offscreen*


Eugene was a great impersonator, but he didn't do Michael Jordan justice this time.


The censors on TSN were such pussies that even punching had to get blurred.


Orton used Richards as a spring to deliver the acid drop on Eugene on the title to pick up the victory.


Eugene: Look I don't know anything, they don't tell us new guys anything down at the precinct.
Mr. Blonde: You done?
Eugene: Please don't kill me, please! I got a wife and kids!
Mr. Blonde: You done?
*'Stuck in the Middle With You' plays as Eugene's ear is cut off*
Eugene: AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, SON OF A BITCH!!!


Hunter posed to show his dominance; he definitely showed Jack Black who was boss in the movie industry.
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Old 07-13-2004, 04:53 PM   #8
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Ric: your a great super hero
Helms: Huh!? You broke kayfabe!
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Old 07-13-2004, 04:56 PM   #9
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Oh my god this pic looks so wierd.

JR: The Giant penis busted him wide open!

Corey Mattews wasn't a good ref anyway.
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Old 07-13-2004, 05:01 PM   #10
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Chris knew he should have fallen for Dave's "check my kneepads" routine.


Edge was right in the middle of a wicked vampire impression when Steven Richards struck with his Ass Darts again.


When Hold Down Aura goes Haywire.


Dave took it hard when he heard Power Rangers was getting cancelled.


Yeah, Sauron was pretty pissed that Edge had retained the title.


Thousands of reb blooded American teens prayed she's pull a Jackie Gayda.

OR

Lana Lang's WWE debut kicked off the WWE's Superman angle, where someone would finally be able to match Triple H in no-selling.


Shouldn't have told Rhyno you had cottage cheese thighs, Rob. He loves cheese.


With Rhyno holding Sylvian glued to the mat, Shang Tsung could at last suck his soul without trouble!


Rhyno's new Clothesline from Hyperspace was a huge hit with the fans.


Vince: "Rhyno and Tajiri winning on back to back nights??? Who the hell wrote this???"


The new Baldmen Ballet was an instant success.


It'd taken a cross country trip, but Nicole Richie had finally won her superlong marshmellow.


When Riverdance goes wrong.


Kane: "When will you get it through your thick skull??? STOP! BOTCHING! THINGS!!!"
Lita: "I's morry."

Kane: "Roaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!"
*tosses Jerichos in anger*

[/QUOTE]
Jericho and the ref certainly didn't mind flying away with the Iron Giant, but the manner in which he took them with him could have been more comfortable.
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Old 07-13-2004, 05:06 PM   #11
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Maven: Yes I know you can goose walk better then JBL!
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Old 07-13-2004, 05:32 PM   #12
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Eugene regretted running into HHH's nose.
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Old 07-13-2004, 09:10 PM   #13
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HHH tried to rescue Eugene but it was too late, the Alien had claimed it's latest victim
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Old 07-13-2004, 05:37 PM   #14
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Chill out, dickwad.
 
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"Hello. I am the hottest woman alive."
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Old 07-13-2004, 08:21 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by asphyXy

"Hello. I am the hottest woman alive."
You get massive rep.
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Old 07-13-2004, 08:45 PM   #16
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"HOLY SHIT, ITS EATING MY HAND!!"


"AHHHHH, IT BIT MEEEEEEEE"
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Old 07-13-2004, 08:51 PM   #17
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Y2J: If ya got girl problems I feel bad for ya son I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!
Kane:
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Old 07-13-2004, 09:44 PM   #18
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-insert LC Orgasm here-


... oh come on you guys always say shit like that, now it's my turn
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Old 07-13-2004, 10:12 PM   #19
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Finally, Always450, HAS COME BACK, to making captions!
After taking a few weeks to find my smile (yeah, I just wanted to slack off more than usual, and eat granola) I have returned, for my dozens, AND DOZENS of fans!
Now, I await my cheap pop!
*chirp chirp… chirp chirp*
Yeah, anywho, as always I haven’t read the captions yet.


And yet somehow this still has more credibility than the WWE Heavyweight Championship Title.


Ya know that move that Steve Austin and The Big Bossman did where they put some dude on the 2nd rope and they jumped on the person’s back to give them a quick jolt to the throat? You remember that?
Batista doesn’t.


“Five time… You can’t see me… Five time… You can’t see me… It’s the same damn thing!”


Edge “successfully” pulls off the “LitaBomb.”


Dave really need to push right here…. Poor dude forgot his stool softener.


Edge: You’re too far away to kiss me, don’t you know that?


She can touch her nose with her tongue…
Tommy Dreamer does not have a contract….
She can touch her nose with her tongue…
Kanyon no longer wrestles with the WWE….
She can touch her nose with her tongue…
Sean O’Haire is in a freaking cage….
She can touch her nose with her tongue…
Raven was never properly pushed in the WWE….
WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?


This would be the first, and the last time anyone ever questioned “Rhyno’s Special Bear Hug.”


Now I know that the WWE wants both the Raw and SmackDown tag team titles to have the same amount of credibility, but do the writers need to bring down the Raw titles?


JR: ROCK BOTTOM!


The valiant sacrifice of the ref and Tajiri prevented anyone from Rhyno’s glue… until Rhyno had their hands chopped off.


Batisita: Hey, why did you fall from the sky?
Maven: Let’s just say Sean didn’t want me as a room mate…


Paris Hilton is to the WWE women’s title as David Arquette to the World’s title.


Test:


Kane: Yes Lita, Hris Cho’s Light is a fine red ale!


In retrospect, Chris shouldn’t have asked Vince to be elevated.
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Old 07-14-2004, 12:04 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Always450

JR: ROCK BOTTOM!
:foc:
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Old 07-13-2004, 10:12 PM   #21
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Jericho and the ref where in the wrong place at the wrong time as the invisible crucifix hit Kane.


The King introduces the love child he had with Terri in her “Marlena” phase.


Ric: And then Doc Ock does thi----
Hurricane: SHUT UP! I HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET!!!


Ric was having problems with his “Build Your Own Jobber” kit he bought from shopzone.com


Lita taught The Hurricane how to do the last dance leg lock.


Vince: Damn it! We need to fill 10 minutes of air time while Triple H polishes his nose! What can I do?
Intern Writer: Well, we could show a clip to hype the return of Christian, or maybe we can have a few local wrestlers put on a match for the hometown crowd? How about we have an in-depth interview with someone who had a quote in Ric Flair’s book?
Senior Writer: Or show a hot chick for no reason?
Vince: You’re a genius! Intern, you’re fired! Clean out your cubby and take the name tap off your cardboard box!


The night almost turned tragic when Eugene was choking on cream filling… until Chris Benoit came to the rescue!


Benoit needs to work on the whole point at yourself thingie…


Try as he might, Eugene couldn’t quite flap his arms hard enough to fly.


Eugene knew it was all a set up when Vince came to the ring, yelling “RING THE BELL! RING THE BELL!”


Chris: OWWWIE! You mean THIS is what I’ve been doing to people? This fuggin’ HURTS!!!!


Now if this wasn’t the most awkward spear.


Another multi-spinaroonie contest ends horribly.


“Hey! It’s just foil covered chocolate!”


It’s quite unfortunate when Eugene insults the wrong movies around the wrong people…
Triple H: Take back what you said!
Eugene: No! It’s just a fairy tale written for modern times with that girl from the Lizze Whatever show on Disney!


The new tag team of Eugene and Steven Richards made their debut with a vicious spiked powerbomb on Orton.


Eugene didn’t know any better when he told Brock Lesnar he has a nice small package.


Randy’s facial expression says that he’s the only one not amused by Ric Flair’s and Triple H’s gas passing contest.
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Old 07-14-2004, 10:03 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Always450

Chris: OWWWIE! You mean THIS is what I’ve been doing to people? This fuggin’ HURTS!!!!
Brilliant! I was still chuckling over that one even after reading the rest of the thread.
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Old 07-14-2004, 12:09 AM   #23
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I like the 'ric flair-david flair' one, El Santo
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Old 07-14-2004, 12:14 AM   #24
Blue Demon
WOOOOOOOOO!
 
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Blue Demon makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Blue Demon makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Blue Demon makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Blue Demon makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Blue Demon makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Blue Demon makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Blue Demon makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Blue Demon makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Blue Demon makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Blue Demon makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Blue Demon makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Blue Demon makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Blue Demon makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)

Man...things really are going downhill...I have to wrestle my hand for 20 minutes
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Old 07-14-2004, 02:06 AM   #25
Mayo
not gayo
 
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Posts: 7,676
Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)

Edge: Stop pushing so fucking hard, I still can't hear the ocean anyways!


Edge: Fuck, that alien looks pretty mean. I wish I knew how to do that Star Trek peace symbol properly!


When the Ref had the urge, he needed his HGA no matter what was happening.


Batista: Average savings for Geico customers is $261. I could be rich! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!


Edge: Yeah, I bought this fly replica belt with my extra money, you stupid son of a bitch.
Batista:


Girl: Oh, hey Stu, its been a while. Call me!
Hey Ron, you're lookin' good as usual, lets get together again!
Jerry, lets make it another night to remember!
Oh shit, I'm on tv...


Rhyno used his sticky hands as an excuse as to why he held onto Rob's ass.


A few seconds after this shot was taken, Grenier's head stuck to Rhyno's hand landed on a fan's lap in the crowd. This confirmed that Tajiri was in fact possessed by the spirit of Bruce Lee.


This is what RVD saw watching on a tv backstage.


Tajiri just had to knock someone out when they couldn't do the 'A' properly.


Its pretty sad when the Ref is the most talented guy in the ring.


Trish: If they only knew how I REALLY broke my hand...
*vision of Trish and Randy Orton playing shuffleboard and Trish slips on one of the rings*
Trish: Tee hee!


Tomko: Mr. Miyagi, the crane kick actually works!


Kane: Fuck, why are we on the highlight reel? Don't tell me that Jericho could be the father too... you stupid slut!


*Kane proceeds to hang up Jericho on the top rope*
Kane: Let's see you impregnate another dumb bitch now!


Kane: Chris Jericho, this is for you possibly stealing my glory after fucking Lita. Shane McMahon, this is for making me look like shit in our street fight match.
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Old 07-14-2004, 02:17 AM   #26
Corkscrewed
 
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Corkscrewed has 75,000 or more rep points (75,000+)Corkscrewed has 75,000 or more rep points (75,000+)Corkscrewed has 75,000 or more rep points (75,000+)Corkscrewed has 75,000 or more rep points (75,000+)Corkscrewed has 75,000 or more rep points (75,000+)Corkscrewed has 75,000 or more rep points (75,000+)Corkscrewed has 75,000 or more rep points (75,000+)Corkscrewed has 75,000 or more rep points (75,000+)Corkscrewed has 75,000 or more rep points (75,000+)Corkscrewed has 75,000 or more rep points (75,000+)Corkscrewed has 75,000 or more rep points (75,000+)

JR: "Rock Bottom!!!"
King: "Whoa! You actually got a move right!"
JR: "What? Oh, I mean BAW GAWD STUNNER!!!!"
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Old 07-14-2004, 02:02 PM   #27
FourFifty
As over as Crystal Pepsi
 
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Posts: 21,639
FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Corkscrewed

JR: "Rock Bottom!!!"
King: "Whoa! You actually got a move right!"
JR: "What? Oh, I mean BAW GAWD STUNNER!!!!"
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Old 07-14-2004, 08:01 PM   #28
PorkSoda
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
 
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PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)


"Contestant Number 2! Are you ready?"
Edge: I THINK ITS GETTING LARGER!
(Utter Silence)



Edge: Wassup Rosie O? I read your review in the Wall Street Journal, the fans say you suck, and your nothing but a slut!
Ref: I agree Rosie, your nothing but a cheap slut!



Kane: Liiiiita! I have dihherea! And bad things happen when I have dihherea! I tend to make noises, Lita! Uncomfortable noises! Noises that you wake up to in the middle of the night that you hear from a milked-cow!



Comic: Women be shoppin! Women Be shopping, you cannot STOP a women from shoppin!
Triple H: WAAAAAH! HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA! WAH HA! HA! WAAAA HA! HA HAH HAHA OHHOHOHOHOHOHO!
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Old 07-14-2004, 09:37 PM   #29
Mayo
not gayo
 
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Posts: 7,676
Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Mayo puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
Quote:
Originally Posted by PorkSoda


"Contestant Number 2! Are you ready?"
Edge: I THINK ITS GETTING LARGER!
(Utter Silence)



Edge: Wassup Rosie O? I read your review in the Wall Street Journal, the fans say you suck, and your nothing but a slut!
Ref: I agree Rosie, your nothing but a cheap slut!



Kane: Liiiiita! I have dihherea! And bad things happen when I have dihherea! I tend to make noises, Lita! Uncomfortable noises! Noises that you wake up to in the middle of the night that you hear from a milked-cow!



Comic: Women be shoppin! Women Be shopping, you cannot STOP a women from shoppin!
Triple H: WAAAAAH! HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA! WAH HA! HA! WAAAA HA! HA HAH HAHA OHHOHOHOHOHOHO!
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Old 07-14-2004, 08:08 PM   #30
Disturbed316
 
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Disturbed316 has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Disturbed316 has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Disturbed316 has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Disturbed316 has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Disturbed316 has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Disturbed316 has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Disturbed316 has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Disturbed316 has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Disturbed316 has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Disturbed316 has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)


JR: DIAMOND CUTTER!
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Old 07-15-2004, 05:27 AM   #31
FourFifty
As over as Crystal Pepsi
 
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Posts: 21,639
FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)

Randy felt a little awkward when he couldn't remember the words to "I'm Walking On Sunshine" during the Evolution concert.
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Old 07-15-2004, 05:30 AM   #32
FourFifty
As over as Crystal Pepsi
 
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Posts: 21,639
FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)

Screw the title! Eugene just a can of cream filling on the floor!
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