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Old 03-18-2006, 02:08 PM   #1
Arnold HamNegger
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Meet wrestling's favorite family, "The Vermaats!"
Welcome to a very special episode of:

DINNER WITH THE VERMAAT FAMILY

Please welcome the worlds most delusional family, THE VERMAAT'S!

(Crowd applause )

Pappa Vermaat: Wow, dinner looks great tonight hon.

Mamma Vermaat: Thanks dear, it's my favorite.

Vermaat: You know Mom, your cooking is still as good today as it was during the era where you cooked with "Attitude."

Pappa Vermaat: Yeah, never mind the 3.5 Million dollars we've spent at the hospital due to food poisoning the past 5 years or so, the quality of your cooking hasn't dropped a bit!

Daughter Vermaat: Mom, I love how you ignore what we really want to eat and go ahead and feed us the same thing over and over again, that's just the best!

Mamma Vermaat: Well you know my motto, "Mamma knows best".

Pappa V: So son, how'd you do on today's exam? You know that exam was really MAKE IT OR BREAK IT for you.

Vermaat: Well Dad, I aced it again.....another F! You wouldn't believe how stupid the teacher was on this exam, she had every answer wrong. Every question was multiple choice, but I never saw the right answer. I just used my "logic" to find the right answer for every question. I had to write the correct answer on the test myself, she didn't even have it as an option!

Pappa V: Your a chip off the old block son. Remember what I've always taught you son, if it comes from the head of a Vermaat, it can never be wrong! Now go put that exam on the fridge with all the other's you've aced this year.

Vermaat: So Dad, if what comes from my head is never wrong, then how was this exam MAKE IT OR BREAK IT FOR me?

Pappa V: Uhhhh.......Hmmmmmm, what? Hurry up and eat son, your food is getting cold.

Mamma V: Honey, why are you being so quiet today?

Daughter V: Well, something happened at school today.

Pappa V: But wasn't today the big pep rally where God and John Cena were going to give an inspirational speech?

Daughter V: Yeah, that's just the thing. As soon as they both were announced, the crowd....well, the crowd started to boo....loudly, it was just awful Daddy!

Vermaat: That's not fair! How come God and Cena never come to my school?

Pappa V: Because you can't see them son , now be quiet and let your sister finish her story.

Daughter V: Well, everyone started yelling about hurricanes, fires, earthquakes, famine, disease, tsunamis, lousy move sets, unrealistic finishers and being too Superman like.

Pappa V: Well now that's just phooey hon, just plan phooey! These events are not facts, they're just rumors. Did we actually experience any of these things family?

Family: NO DAD!

Pappa V: That's right, and if we have no experience with something, then it didn't really happen...regardless of what anyone tries to tell you, they are lying! People aren't really angry at God or John Cena honey, it's just that ever since both of them have gone up against Kurt Angle, it's been "Cool" to boo them. I mean, Angle did such a lousy job at playing a heel, he couldn't keep God and John Cena faces!

Vermaat: I know I wasn't there Dad, but I just used my "logic" and came up with a solution. It's the only thing I could think of, so it just HAS TO BE TRUE! People really still like God and John Cena, but ever since that bastard Kurt Angle did such a terrible job, there are always a few bad apples that go against the grain wherever God and Cena appear and want to boo them. And since you told us about human nature, everyone is terribly weak willed and gives in to what others are doing around them...so eventually, against their will...just to fit in, they boo God and John Cena.

Pappa V: That's right son! It's that same logic that got me and your mother together. I was at a party in college and your mother was gang banging my entire fraternity . Well, I didn't really want to join in, but I'll be damned, I had no control over human nature. Against my own will, I started plowing into her like a drunk circus monkey, all in an effort to fit in with the bad apples. And well, that's why you're here today son!

Mamma V: Yep, and we've lived the perfect life together ever since!

Pappa V: Yeah, in spite of the fact that since we've been married, your mother hasn't done any of her signature moves. I know I've told her to tone down a few of her moves, because well...frankly, now that she's a mother...some of those moves are just too dangerous.

Vermaat: Dad, I used my "logic" again and I think Mom is just being lazy.

Pappa V: Yeah, you're probably right son. I keep her around I guess because she has potential. I just really wish I'd have married that Rey Mysterio Jr though.....now he has some innovative moves that are impossible to tone down!

Mamma V: Oh you guys!

(crowd applause )
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Old 03-18-2006, 02:15 PM   #2
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Old 03-18-2006, 02:34 PM   #3
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He's going to feel so honored when he sees this.
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Old 03-18-2006, 02:35 PM   #4
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Otherwise interesting concept to build on.
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Old 03-18-2006, 02:42 PM   #5
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SLOBBORKNOCKER SALMON
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Old 03-18-2006, 04:53 PM   #6
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hahahahaha it's pretty funny, however it is nothing like me and you guys laugh all you want, but you are having serious COMPREHENSION issues when reading my posts because you seem to be missing a lot of my points that I adressed. But fun piece of satire.
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Old 03-18-2006, 04:55 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vermaat
hahahahaha it's pretty funny, however it is nothing like me and you guys laugh all you want, but you are having serious COMPREHENSION issues when reading my posts because you seem to be missing a lot of my points that I adressed. But fun piece of satire.
Are you Mr. Subliminal? Cause if you are, I'd believe you then.

Maybe your like for Cena is actually a subliminal message to tell us that he sucks because someone like you likes him!
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Old 03-18-2006, 05:23 PM   #8
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I'm not subliminal, I'm just not uptight like you are. I can joke around even if the other side is misguided.
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Old 03-24-2006, 03:05 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vermaat
I'm not subliminal, I'm just not uptight like you are. I can joke around even if the other side is misguided.

which brings about the TPWW's Public Service Announcement

DONT SMOKE CRACK...CRACK KILLS!!
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Old 03-24-2006, 11:49 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vermaat
hahahahaha it's pretty funny, however it is nothing like me and you guys laugh all you want, but you are having serious COMPREHENSION issues when reading my posts because you seem to be missing a lot of my points that I adressed. But fun piece of satire.
Admit it, inside your weeping really.

Btw, perhaps you should re-evaluate your definition of sattire.
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Old 03-24-2006, 12:14 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavo Classic
Admit it, inside your weeping really.

Btw, perhaps you should re-evaluate your definition of sattire.
If Vermaat looked up "satire" in the dictionary, and it didn't match his meaning, he would say that Webster's was wrong and had probably been influenced by all the BAD APPLES.
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Old 03-24-2006, 01:06 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PureHatred
If Vermaat looked up "satire" in the dictionary, and it didn't match his meaning, he would say that Webster's was wrong and had probably been influenced by all the BAD APPLES.


That's beautiful.
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Old 03-18-2006, 07:59 PM   #13
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[The king is coming
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Old 03-18-2006, 08:41 PM   #14
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Haha... the lost soul is telling the dunes they're misguided.
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Old 03-19-2006, 02:07 AM   #15
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Seriouslly though Vermaat...you've desended to a new level.

You're being mocked by a fellow newbie. I don't think anyone in recent memory, and that's in the last 4 minutes, has ever been more hated than you.

Cept punt bu...........PUNT!? IS THAT YOU!?
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Old 03-19-2006, 02:26 AM   #16
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Gotta shorten it and just go right to the punch or else you lose audience. (ie: ME)
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Old 03-24-2006, 10:13 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nervous Ferret
Gotta shorten it and just go right to the punch or else you lose audience. (ie: ME)
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Old 03-24-2006, 12:34 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nervous Ferret
Gotta shorten it and just go right to the punch or else you lose audience. (ie: ME)
Well, I thought I did get right into it. "Cooking" is a metaphor for "wrestling." I had a hard time keeping it this short, there's so much material to work with....but I see your point.

You know the sad thing is that Vermaat has progressively gotten worse with his delusions, so this could actually be considered a "drama" and not comedy.
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Old 03-24-2006, 08:49 AM   #19
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I was laughing really hard. Then I saw what Vermaat wrote and I died a little inside.
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Old 03-24-2006, 11:26 AM   #20
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umm...what kane and Ferret said...yeah
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Old 03-24-2006, 12:31 PM   #21
Kane Knight
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Dictionary.com is just an internet site for rmours. I don't see satire anywhere on WWE.com, and I don't see it in my dictionary...

...Hey, does that make Satire innovatove?
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Old 03-24-2006, 12:33 PM   #22
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*Looks up "Vermaat"*
See, Retard.

*Looks up "Retard"*
See, Vermaat.
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Old 03-24-2006, 12:47 PM   #23
Kane Knight
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Insanity can be funny. Just ask any Vampire LARPer. If you dare approach them.
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Old 03-24-2006, 01:10 PM   #24
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