LMAO-Baseball Fans Read.

02-24-2004, 02:03 PM

I just found this hillarious article on ESPN which kind of pokes fun at each team in the majors. I will post the link and also I will post the sections that had me laughing the hardest.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...e=caple/040224

BOSTON: Red Sox president Larry Lucchino opened camp by declaring a jihad against the Yankees, while owner John Henry placed a fatwa on George Steinbrenner ... Boston further responded to the Alex Rodriguez trade by elevating the security threat level in Red Sox Nation to "Monster Green,'' one below the highest level of "Officially Eliminated Blue.'' ... The Red Sox also announced the promotional giveaway for their first home game against Yankees, with the first 20,000 fans receiving a free salary cap ... Former manager Grady Little called new manager Terry Francona to say that he thinks RHP Pedro Martinez is ready to throw nine innings in the first Grapefruit League game ...

OAKLAND: The Athletics held fundamental drills, working on various techniques for missing home plate, including stopping three steps in front of home to argue with the umpire, side-stepping home plate to shove the catcher from behind when he's not looking and not sliding ... General manager Billy Beane explained how to clone human embryos ...

This was the best one.

TORONTO: New Canadian prime minister Paul Martin sided with the Separatist movement that seeks to break the Blue Jays off from the AL East and form their own division with Tampa Bay, Cleveland and Detroit ...

TEXAS: Despite being traded to the Yankees, SS Alex Rodriguez maintained his Rangers captaincy and renewed his commitment to Texas by shipping inspirational t-shirts to the team that read, "I'm Probably Pretty Sure It's Going To Work Out For the Best!'' ... Owner Tom Hicks volunteered to pay the Yankees bar tab ...

CHICAGO: RHP Greg Maddux's first day back with the Cubs since 1991 was cut short by injury when Steve Bartman accidentally ran over him in the parking lot. Manager Dusty Baker said the club will simply go with a two-man rotation of RHP Kerry Wood and RHP Mark Prior until Maddux is healthy ... OF Sammy Sosa received his annual shipment of corked bats ...

CINCINNATI: In an attempt to keep OF Ken Griffey Jr. on the field more often this season, the Reds are moving the trainers room to center field ... Pete Rose has volunteered to run the Reds NCAA tournament pool ...

COLORADO: The Rockies hope to lower their staff ERA this season by keeping game baseballs in a humidor before the game and then transferring them to a locked steel vault when the opposing team comes to bat ...

HOUSTON: RHP Roger Clemens and LHP Andy Pettitte sent out engagement announcements but haven't agreed on a china pattern yet ... 2B Jeff Kent said contrary to reports, Yankees 3B Aaron Boone actually tore his ACL helping him wash his truck ... LOL at Boone

ST. LOUIS: Under terms of the Cardinals' new $100 million contract with 1B Albert Pujols, Rangers owner Tom Hicks will pay $47 million ...

02-24-2004, 10:24 PM

The St. Louis one is pretty funny.

**Jesus Shuttlesworth** · 02-24-2004, 10:30 PM

Funny baseball thing on SNL

"The Yankees offered All Star Shortshop Alex Rodriguez something the Boston Red Sox couldn't...a boyfriend" then a picture of him and Jeter together flashed up on the screen.

**Jesus Shuttlesworth** · 02-24-2004, 10:31 PM

TAMPA BAY: The Devil Rays announced they probably will just stay in Tokyo after their series with the Yankees. "I doubt anyone in Tampa will notice if we don't come home,'' GM Chuck LaMar said ... In an attempt to toughen their image, the Rays have added a new fundamental drill in which they take turns knocking down new consultant Don Zimmer ...

LOL look at the site..and the caption underneath the Zimmer pic hahaha

02-24-2004, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sTiMa34

TAMPA BAY: The Devil Rays announced they probably will just stay in Tokyo after their series with the Yankees. "I doubt anyone in Tampa will notice if we don't come home,'' GM Chuck LaMar said ... In an attempt to toughen their image, the Rays have added a new fundamental drill in which they take turns knocking down new consultant Don Zimmer ...

LOL look at the site..and the caption underneath the Zimmer pic hahaha

LOL, I didn't even read the Zimmer caption. And LOL at the Ligue one too.

**Jesus Shuttlesworth** · 02-24-2004, 10:32 PM

FLORIDA: In a cost-cutting move, owner Jeffrey Loria said the team will give the players "We're No. 1'' giant puffy hands instead of World Series rings ...

02-25-2004, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sTiMa34

FLORIDA: In a cost-cutting move, owner Jeffrey Loria said the team will give the players "We're No. 1'' giant puffy hands instead of World Series rings ...

hahaha!

**Smitty** · 02-25-2004, 10:04 PM

hahaha these are golden.

**Mikey** · 02-24-2004, 10:49 PM

lol @ all of them

**Bad Guy** · 02-25-2004, 05:58 PM

DETROIT: The Tigers formally opened spring training by losing C Ivan Rodriguez's luggage ... In addition to signing Rodriguez, owner Mike Ilitch said the Tigers will further re-establish their identity and boost their self-esteem by replacing their bullpen carts with fully-loaded Cadillac Escalades that will need to be refueled after every pitching change

02-24-2004, 02:03 PM	#1
Loose Cannon Guest Posts: n/a	LMAO-Baseball Fans Read. I just found this hillarious article on ESPN which kind of pokes fun at each team in the majors. I will post the link and also I will post the sections that had me laughing the hardest. http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...e=caple/040224 BOSTON: Red Sox president Larry Lucchino opened camp by declaring a jihad against the Yankees, while owner John Henry placed a fatwa on George Steinbrenner ... Boston further responded to the Alex Rodriguez trade by elevating the security threat level in Red Sox Nation to "Monster Green,'' one below the highest level of "Officially Eliminated Blue.'' ... The Red Sox also announced the promotional giveaway for their first home game against Yankees, with the first 20,000 fans receiving a free salary cap ... Former manager Grady Little called new manager Terry Francona to say that he thinks RHP Pedro Martinez is ready to throw nine innings in the first Grapefruit League game ... OAKLAND: The Athletics held fundamental drills, working on various techniques for missing home plate, including stopping three steps in front of home to argue with the umpire, side-stepping home plate to shove the catcher from behind when he's not looking and not sliding ... General manager Billy Beane explained how to clone human embryos ... This was the best one. TORONTO: New Canadian prime minister Paul Martin sided with the Separatist movement that seeks to break the Blue Jays off from the AL East and form their own division with Tampa Bay, Cleveland and Detroit ... TEXAS: Despite being traded to the Yankees, SS Alex Rodriguez maintained his Rangers captaincy and renewed his commitment to Texas by shipping inspirational t-shirts to the team that read, "I'm Probably Pretty Sure It's Going To Work Out For the Best!'' ... Owner Tom Hicks volunteered to pay the Yankees bar tab ... CHICAGO: RHP Greg Maddux's first day back with the Cubs since 1991 was cut short by injury when Steve Bartman accidentally ran over him in the parking lot. Manager Dusty Baker said the club will simply go with a two-man rotation of RHP Kerry Wood and RHP Mark Prior until Maddux is healthy ... OF Sammy Sosa received his annual shipment of corked bats ... CINCINNATI: In an attempt to keep OF Ken Griffey Jr. on the field more often this season, the Reds are moving the trainers room to center field ... Pete Rose has volunteered to run the Reds NCAA tournament pool ... COLORADO: The Rockies hope to lower their staff ERA this season by keeping game baseballs in a humidor before the game and then transferring them to a locked steel vault when the opposing team comes to bat ... HOUSTON: RHP Roger Clemens and LHP Andy Pettitte sent out engagement announcements but haven't agreed on a china pattern yet ... 2B Jeff Kent said contrary to reports, Yankees 3B Aaron Boone actually tore his ACL helping him wash his truck ... LOL at Boone ST. LOUIS: Under terms of the Cardinals' new $100 million contract with 1B Albert Pujols, Rangers owner Tom Hicks will pay $47 million ...

02-24-2004, 10:24 PM	#2
YOUR Hero Guest Posts: n/a	The St. Louis one is pretty funny.

02-24-2004, 10:30 PM	#3
Jesus Shuttlesworth Posts: 42,765	Funny baseball thing on SNL "The Yankees offered All Star Shortshop Alex Rodriguez something the Boston Red Sox couldn't...a boyfriend" then a picture of him and Jeter together flashed up on the screen.

02-24-2004, 10:31 PM	#4
Jesus Shuttlesworth Posts: 42,765	TAMPA BAY: The Devil Rays announced they probably will just stay in Tokyo after their series with the Yankees. "I doubt anyone in Tampa will notice if we don't come home,'' GM Chuck LaMar said ... In an attempt to toughen their image, the Rays have added a new fundamental drill in which they take turns knocking down new consultant Don Zimmer ... LOL look at the site..and the caption underneath the Zimmer pic hahaha

02-24-2004, 10:32 PM	#6
Jesus Shuttlesworth Posts: 42,765	FLORIDA: In a cost-cutting move, owner Jeffrey Loria said the team will give the players "We're No. 1'' giant puffy hands instead of World Series rings ...

02-25-2004, 10:04 PM	#8
Smitty mmm mmm bitch! Posts: 2,881	hahaha these are golden.

02-24-2004, 10:49 PM	#9
Mikey Posts: 4,668	lol @ all of them

02-25-2004, 05:58 PM	#10
Bad Guy TPWW VET Posts: 10,837	DETROIT: The Tigers formally opened spring training by losing C Ivan Rodriguez's luggage ... In addition to signing Rodriguez, owner Mike Ilitch said the Tigers will further re-establish their identity and boost their self-esteem by replacing their bullpen carts with fully-loaded Cadillac Escalades that will need to be refueled after every pitching change