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Old 02-26-2004, 10:45 PM   #1
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SmackDown! Captions [2/26/04]

Kurt Angle posed for his "WWE Main Event" identifcation card, a new requirement enforced by Vince McMahon to assure that people like Hardcore Holly would never falsely enter themselves in a main event.


Eddie Guerrero was frustrated at Heyman, already having lined up two challengers for his Illegal Immigrant Title.


Jamie "The Cloak" Noble showed Mysterio that by placing his legs in his interdemensional torso, that his legs would appear somewhere else. In this case, the upper-right of the two.


It all came back to haunt Noble when Rey came shooting out of his torso to cover Kidman before Jamie could.


When Rey asked Nunzio to sell the West Coast Pop, this isn't what he had in mind.


Scottie always wanted to be elevated, but he was amazed to discover that of all things, a single fart would do the trick.


When the ump delcared that it was indeed a foul ball, Bradshaw carried Scotty back to second base.


As the fist of Triple H showed up in the match, Bradshaw did his best to please it by hitting the pedigree.


Scotty was so sick of these foul balls and pointed for the first baseman to make the call.


Unlike other WWE champions, Eddie actually had to keep his hand on the belt to keep it over his shoulder.


Brock and Billy misunderstood the term "chicken-wing cross-face."


Like Bradshaw, Billy knew he was toast in this match and asked the ref how many pushes he had left.


Brock couldn't go through with the F-5 when all the sudden he felt multiple pairs of lips teasing at his neck.


Torrie and Sable demonstrated, using the mic, exactly what they had to do to get on the cover of Playboy.


The Divas went at it with Cena in a game of rock-paper-scissors, but little did they know Cena was about to use the bomb.


But that Sean O'Haire was coaching the Divas by telling them what John was about to throw... that sonofabitch!


John Cena was embarassed. Apparently, when he said, "You can't see this," and whipped out his penis, he was right.


As Show went for the chokeslam, Cena was a step ahead in employing a hoss of his own, and Show was blind-sided by Mimi from the Drew Carey show!


In the prehistoric era, many people would battle for the rights of calling someone his mate. It was in cases like these that the Chavos would be screwed. (Literally.)


When the ref did the whole "make my hand look like a pussy" trick, Show and Cena faught over who would get to see a pussy that close for the first time.


John Cena takes out his frustrations on Chavo Sr., claiming that "it's people like him that come in and steal our jobs."


Rita knew she had the battle won, when her overgrown monster put an end to the Black Ranger once and for all.


Kurt Angle does his impression of the 5-minute gaps in Triple H's promos.


Eddie was under even more pressure, when not only did he have two contenders for the Illegal Immigrant Title, but Heyman had formed a "Border Patrol" stable!


As they went to arrest Eddie Guerrero, Eddie noticed something about one of the patrolmen, and he assured them that his green card was in his wallet.


But when they fell for the trick, Eddie began his escape. Eddie was a clever guy to notice that one of them was Zach Gowen!


Eddie: Will you wait for me?
Kurt: Yes! *Crying* YES!





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Old 02-26-2004, 10:46 PM   #2
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Whoops.
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Old 02-26-2004, 10:48 PM   #3
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Yeah, the date was wrong, but now some of them are still X'd out. Weird. Fixing them.
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Old 02-26-2004, 10:48 PM   #4
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'Saright. No rush. I shouldn't be talking. I still have this week's RAW pics yet to caption.
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Old 02-26-2004, 10:50 PM   #5
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Hm, I dunno what's wrong with them. The IMG thingies are right. But half of them are X'd. Anyone feel like hitting Reply (under the post with the pics) and seeing if there's anything they notice wrong with the coding? I can't figure this one out.
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Old 02-26-2004, 10:52 PM   #6
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What the hell are you doing RB. Dammit, you're letting everyone down
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Old 02-26-2004, 10:52 PM   #7
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Try changing 1, 2, 3 to 01, 02, 03 and see if that does anything.
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Old 02-26-2004, 10:53 PM   #8
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Just did it as you posted that LoL. Anyway, they're fixed. Thanks.
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Old 02-26-2004, 10:55 PM   #9
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Meh, weak pictures this week, will do more later... Good luck...
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Old 02-26-2004, 10:55 PM   #10
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Fan: Here I'll catch him!


Eddie being held back by another "glass ceiling"


Cena: RUB EM!!!
Chavo Sr: Ok ok!!
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Old 02-26-2004, 10:55 PM   #11
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LMAO at that first one by RB. That's a Caption of the Year candidate.
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Old 02-26-2004, 10:56 PM   #12
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This was a good set of captions, Rock. Good job. Jamie "The Cloak" could become a running gag if you're not careful
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Old 02-26-2004, 11:05 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loopydate
This was a good set of captions, Rock. Good job. Jamie "The Cloak" could become a running gag if you're not careful
LoL, I hope so. I've made a good deal of captions to salute other peoples' gags.

Thanks guys, I try.
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Old 02-26-2004, 10:58 PM   #14
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Scottie shocked everyone when he started to grow breasts out of nowhere.
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Old 02-27-2004, 12:23 AM   #15
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Wow, RB, you were on FIRE!!! These are by far your best set ever. I was chuckling at every single one. Great job, but thanks for making it hard for me to choose. LMAO at the "you can't see the penis" one.

That's gonna be hard to top.
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Old 02-27-2004, 12:35 AM   #16
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Wow, RB, you were on FIRE!!!
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Old 02-27-2004, 12:49 AM   #17
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Damn! Beat to it… but at least I got a nice nap in today.
Before I start, I was playing SmackDown: Here Comes The Pain today, and my sister was watching. Anyways, there was a cut scene with Rowdy Roddy Piper and Sean O’Haire talking about how they would kick my ass. My sister, from out of nowhere, in all seriousness, asks me if the game was made before Sean O’Haire was put in his cage.



Why does Kurt look so quiet… If you watched the Jake Roberts/Rick Rude match at WMIV, you’d be damned humbled also.


Vince: So we’ll take all of the cruiserweights, put them in a blender after a match, condense all of the talent out of it, pour the mix in a hoss shaped dish, and bake ‘till overdone! Yes! I am a jenius!


Paul: Really Eddie? You saved that much by switching to Geico?
Eddie: Yeah ese, and FFX2 isn’t really that bad!
Paul: The idea is genius, but dress spheres?
Tajiri: Isn’t there a cruiserweight match going on right now?
Dawn: Vince said it was too long, so there needs to be something else in it.


All of the cruiserweights, and quite a few fans also, cried when the Fatal Four Way match was intruded by a promo.


Rey: That’s it! I’m out of here! There was a promo that cut into our match, and Nunzio just got attacked by Stevie Richards and the ref isn’t doing a damn thing about it.


No Scotty, standing on your tip toes does NOT count as being elevated.


Bradshaw botched the whole match, his partner is too injured to really do anything remarkable, Rikishi is a fat ass, and the ref can’t even do the YMCA dance… Scotty just didn’t have what it takes to carry the match.


Ref: So Scotty, how are the wife and kids?
Scotty: They’re fine.
Ref: That’s good. Hey, around 15 mins away there’s this great mom and pop burger stand. Best burgers I’ve ever had.
Scotty: That’s nice….. Shouldn’t you be doing something? I mean, isn’t there a match going on?
Ref: Didn’t matter in the last match.


must fight it… must not make hga joke… can’t resist…
Scotty and Rikishi were showing all the talented midcarders back stage how to ask Triple H for a push.


Eddie: Man, I really could go for a nice title defense tonight. A nice and clean non-plot oriented title defense…
Belty: NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!!!!!
Eddie: You’ve been around Brock for too long.


Billy: Come on Brock, impress me!
Brock: TinkyWinkyPoDipsyHardcoreHollyLaaLaa!
Billy: Wow! I am impressed!


Ref: Brock, I hate to say this, but squeezing talent out of Billy Gunn is like getting bloody from a stone.


Brock: Wait… how did that fire marshal bill face look that Cena does…


Torrie: You know, it’s because of all of you guys that Sable and I are on the cover of the A-Boy JerkIt magazines. Needless to say, we went through a lot of mouth wash.
Sable: But opposites still do attract. Torrie used wintermint, while I used winterfresh!


Cena: Yo! So the pics were legit! You two aren’t the same people! But dawg, when did they legalize human cloning?
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Old 02-27-2004, 01:39 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Always450
Anyways, there was a cut scene with Rowdy Roddy Piper and Sean O’Haire talking about how they would kick my ass. My sister, from out of nowhere, in all seriousness, asks me if the game was made before Sean O’Haire was put in his cage.
ROFLMAO! Funny stuff. How old is your sister to actually beieve that sort of thing, five?

Quote:

Ref: So Scotty, how are the wife and kids?
Scotty: They’re fine.
Ref: That’s good. Hey, around 15 mins away there’s this great mom and pop burger stand. Best burgers I’ve ever had.
Scotty: That’s nice….. Shouldn’t you be doing something? I mean, isn’t there a match going on?
Ref: Didn’t matter in the last match.
Hehe... gives me an idea...



Ref: So Scotty, how are the wife and kids?
Scotty: They’re fine.
Ref: That’s good. Hey, around 15 mins away there’s this great mom and pop burger stand. Best burgers I’ve ever had.
Scotty: That’s nice….. say, we should probably get back to the match, huh?
Ref: Yeah, that's a good id--OH MY GOODNESS, WHAT THE HECK IS RIKISHI DOING TO BRADSHAW????
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Old 02-27-2004, 09:22 AM   #19
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Corkscrewed
ROFLMAO! Funny stuff. How old is your sister to actually beieve that sort of thing, five?


Hehe... gives me an idea...



Ref: So Scotty, how are the wife and kids?
Scotty: They’re fine.
Ref: That’s good. Hey, around 15 mins away there’s this great mom and pop burger stand. Best burgers I’ve ever had.
Scotty: That’s nice….. say, we should probably get back to the match, huh?
Ref: Yeah, that's a good id--OH MY GOODNESS, WHAT THE HECK IS RIKISHI DOING TO BRADSHAW????

*LMAO!!!!*
At least 100 times better than mine! My caption has been owned!
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Old 02-27-2004, 12:50 AM   #20
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Cena tried to use his laser finger to free Sean O’Haire while Always450 tries to figure out a decent caption for this pic.


Sable: That’s not true, Cena!
Torrie: It’s not true!
Cena: But you two have enough plastic to be life size Barbies.


Cena: No! Show! Don’t look! They’re showing the HBK/Triple H/Steph double penetration video on the titantron again!
Show: OH GOD NO!


Nick: No Show, you can NOT have your own pet cruiserweight!
Show: But I found it…
Nick: Take it back to where you found it or Vince will take away your push!
Show: yessir…


Nick: When will Rhyno stop?
Show: Hey lookie! I have some talent glued onto me!


Cena: Yeah dawg! I am standing and I’m ‘bout to deliver this move!
Chavo Sr: Please Cena, just kill me so I don’t have to live through another week of this…


Rey: Oh come on Show! You need to get your hand higher for the chokeslam!


Kurt: Now I’m not sure what I’m doing in the ring, but Vince told me since there were too many cruiserweights in the ring that a promo needed to be cut.


Eddie: I’m not feeling anything! None of you shall ever be Jedi cops! You all are weak in the mind!


Cop: I’m sorry sir, but we need to reach out Mexican quota, and we sorta need someone.
Eddie: Racial profiling? You are horrible cops! Beside, I’m from El Paso, Texas. How do you know I’m Latino?
Cop: There’s a Mexican flag right above your head.


Eddie: Hey Bossman, you remember that guy, Nailz? Is he still in the pen?
Cop: Who?
Eddie:……………how long have you been watching wrestling?


Kurt: And that’s what you get for cutting a track on the WWE Original track!
Eddie: So did you!
Kurt: I convinced the cops it was Rhyno!


Shannon Moore tried to look more masculine by getting a short haircut. All it did was bring out his bust line.


The squeal to The Kurt wasn’t nearly as scary as the original The Kurt, or The Vince.
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Old 02-27-2004, 01:24 AM   #21
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Nathan Jones' comeback as the Patriotic Aussie was met with skepticism.


Tajiri was a little concerned. Instead of a tiny devil and tiny angle on his shoulders to act his his conscience, he had a giant Heyman and giant Guerrero.


Ken Burns: "Tragically, thousands of Cruiserweights died between the trenches during the Great Cruiserweight-Hoss War..."


Rey: "BILLY!!!!!!!!"
Noble: "Leave him! He's gone to a better place now!"
Rey: "Damn those hoss infidels!!!!"


Nunzio fell under the crosshairs of A-Train. He'd only been yards away from his own line too.
Rey:


Scotty's moonwalk came to a screeching halt when his feet hit the spot in the ring tha Rhyno had been servicing...


Unbeknownst to Bradshaw, the ref had tilted the match in Scott's and Rikishi's favor by using the Force to drop a giant Wrestlemania XX anvil on Farooq.


Here's a rare clip of someone BEFORE they try to powerbomb Rikishi.

OR

When Rikishi's hungry... he's hungry.


Scotty was a little groggy. So you'll have to forgive him when he missed after trying to call the cameraman a homo.


Eddie: "You're right, Belty. That chica in the front row is SIZZLIN'!!!"


Brock: "Tinkie Winkie is the best Teletubby!"
Billy: "No, La La is!"
Brock: "Tinkie Winkie!"
Billy: "La La!!"
Brock: "TINKIE WINKIE!!"
Billy: "LA LA!!!"


Hebner: "So there he was, Shawn with the Sharpshooter. You couldn't believe what was going on in dad's head. His mind was racing. He remembered what he'd been instructed to do. Vince had made the orders perfectly clear. He watched Bret on the floor. Shawn had it locked in. Dad was in the perfect position. And then, he decided..."
Billy: "Make him stop!!! I promise to never use the internet again!!!"


Brock: "Look! I'm carrying a sack of shit! Get it? He's Mr. Ass, and asses have shit... heh heh heh... that's not gonna make the caption list is it?"
Corky: "Nope."


This segment set the record for lowest combined IQ in the ring ever.


Cena takes his Eminem inspiration a little too far when he starts assaulting women.


Cena: "This one's for you, Sean-- wait, I didn't win a title. DAMMIT!!"


Cena agreed that Sable was looking sexy enough... but why was Torrie wearing a mumu?


Cena: "YOU REALLY CAN'T SEE ME!!!"


Scheduling Big Show's match during his customary feeding time proved tragic again.


The Hoss Rideshare Program was back in full swing.


If assaulting women didn't make him a hated heel, abusing Mexican Hollywood celebrities would!!!


This wasn't what Rey meant when he demanded a push.


Kurt: "AsuncionBogotaBrasiliaBuenosAiresCaracasCayenneGeorgetownLaPazLimaQuitoMontevideoParamaribo.... shit!!"


WGTT finally got some TV time when Shelton Benjamin dressed up as a police officer and stopped Eddie with a Force Wall.


It was bad enough getting arrested. Did the cops really have to grope Eddie's man boobs as well?


That Eddie. Always looking out for the youngsters... here he is volunteering getting arrested so that Maven can get some air time.


Kurt: "MY PLACE AT 8:00 TOMORROW!!! CALL ME!!!!"
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Old 02-27-2004, 01:31 AM   #22
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LMAO! Always, you were on fire too! RB had a few more guffaws than you, but you'll definitely have a bundle in this week's archive!

*applause*


I've been outshined. *sniff*
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Old 02-27-2004, 01:35 AM   #23
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LOL @ Always's Winterfresh and Corky's Eminem female-abuse captions.
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Old 02-27-2004, 05:21 AM   #24
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Unbeknownst to Bradshaw, the ref had tilted the match in Scott's and Rikishi's favor by using the Force to drop a giant Wrestlemania XX anvil on Farooq.
LMAO at this one.
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Old 02-27-2004, 01:29 PM   #25
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Kurt had pissed off Vince so bad that he was now jobbing to Conan in a late night staring contest.


Robby Knieval prepared to set a record for jumping over bad ethnic stereotypes.



times were so tough Scotty stopped dancing for a nickel on the mat.



Shannon Moore's newest "Push:" tagging with Bradshaw as his "human accordian."



Ladies and Gentlemen, the first WWE champion with both a neck AND testicles!



Cena showed off the shirt that Brock had lovingly made for him. John didn't have the heart to tell poor Lesnar that "Cena" was not spelled "Dthmas."



Out of Crazy glue, Rhyno hid in the rafters for some fun with magnets...


YOU CAN'T SEE ME!



I will name him George, and I will hold him and pat him and...



Kurt paused, for a moment forgetting the answer to "Why Kurt, Why?"


Eddie was confused. What was a "Green Card?"



Eddie: Alriiiiiight...Prison Sex!



Eddie realized that this was probably a BAD time for his theme to start playing. After all, few judges offer leniency when the video of the crime states "I lie and cheat and steal."



It didn't help matters that Eddie had managed to lift Kurt's medals before he was put in the police cruiser.
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Old 02-27-2004, 01:38 PM   #26
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Kurt looked to see if he had any ketchup on his face...only to see his reflection come back as Eddie Guererro
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Old 02-27-2004, 02:08 PM   #27
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LOL at Always450's sister and the Sean O'Haire cage joke. I actually went back to find what caption I first started that joke on and it was from December. I never expected it to last ths long. Awww. The memories


Jazz, "Do you see him"
Trish, "Oh my god, you were right. He's in a cage.
Jazz, "Yep, that's what happens when your gimmick becomes more popular then Vince wants it too."
Trish, Poor Sean...


Alright who thr FK CARES, time for Smackdown Captions.
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Old 02-27-2004, 03:53 PM   #28
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Kurt Angle was caught leaking future storylines to the Internet, so Vince had him committed to the Solitary Confinement Chamber for a week.



Eddie: Hey Vato, Why were you taking pictures of me while I was showering Holmes?
Heyman: UM....Tajiri asked me to.
Tajiri: HUH...




After seeing what happened to Ultimo, the Crusiers knew to watch out for Vince's invisible "Crusierweight Catcher Net."




Oh No, the invisible Net caught Noble in mid air.



REY REY bailed from the match when he saw the Invisible Net had entrapped a helpless Nunzio.



Scotty sees a message appear on the canvas that reads, "You've been Punked, Please return the tag titles to Vince immediately."



Bradshaw couldn't help but smile when the Ref informed him that Sean was doing his "Beer Guzzling" Act.




Bradshaw really wasn't sure how the Sunset Flip worked



See that guy, I stole his push.
**points to Charlie Haas selling Cotton Candy in the stands.



Eddie seems a little confused when a home video of HHH pinning an inflatable Benoit doll accidently appears on the screen.




Brock: I really have to go to the bathroom
Billy: Can I come and wat....I mean, yeah me too.



Brock held Billy down as the ref used his powers to make sure Billy Gunn never again catches a glimpse of one of his gimmicks in the "Golden Box."



Tori: A, E , I, O, U and sometimes Y.
Announcer: Very good, We'll see you in the Miss U.S.A. pagent next year.



Cena tells Sean to try and keep it in the cage when he's doing that.



Patrick: You, Vader Bomb, NOW!!!!!!



The Ref gives Cena a little support by throwing up the Word Life sign in mid match.




UH OH, The WWE caught the guy in the blue jersey trying to spread the word about The Rock appearing on Raw next week.



Kurt wonders why in the world Shelton Benjamin is using a polaroid camera instead of a digital..



Eddie's "Push for 60 days" Coupon had finally expired, he now had to go to Velocity.



Eddie tried to get out of going to Velocity by saying he would lay down for Hunter again, but it was to late.




Eddie sheds a tear when he sees various WWE midcarders giving him a standing ovation, for he was now a Hero to all.



Angle: Wait, Eddieee, This isn't right.
Eddie: Just let it be Kurt, just let it be. (Anyone know what movie that line is from? The scene is sort of the same from the movie too).
Last edited by Loose Cannon; 02-27-2004 at 10:26 PM.
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Old 02-27-2004, 11:47 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loose Cannon

Eddie's "Push for 60 days" Coupon had finally expired, he now had to go to Velocity.
LMAO.
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Old 02-27-2004, 08:44 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loose Cannon
LOL at Always450's sister and the Sean O'Haire cage joke. I actually went back to find what caption I first started that joke on and it was from December. I never expected it to last ths long. Awww. The memories


Jazz, "Do you see him"
Trish, "Oh my god, you were right. He's in a cage.
Jazz, "Yep, that's what happens when your gimmick becomes more popular then Vince wants it too."
Trish, Poor Sean...


Alright who thr FK CARES, time for Smackdown Captions.
Due to the length of the running joke that captions NEEDS to be in the best caption thingie!
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Old 02-27-2004, 04:38 PM   #31
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Great stuff, LC. I loved the Haas selling candy, Benoit Doll, and 60 day coupon ones.
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Old 02-27-2004, 10:23 PM   #32
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Rock Bottom, you did good this week! Major props! If you don't at five or six of your captions in Cork's "Best Of..." thread, then ere is no justice in this world.


Due to new censorship guidelines, whenever the WWE started showing material of profane content, the flashed on-screen the show's own symbol of integrity, Kurt Angle. This, for example, is what people at home saw during the A-Train match.


Tajiri: "Guys, please there's no need to fight! You can BOTH marry me!"


God, all Rey wanted to do was sit down, but it turned out he picked a spot smack dab in the middle of Smackdown's First Cruiser Crawl Invitiational.


I don't know what Jamie did, but being forced to carry the Titantron on his shoulders was one hell of a punishment.


Rey knew the 619 was powerful, but .... decapitation? Time to scram!


Vince: "Let's see... we'd like to attract more female viewers... but we don't want to lose our 'Southern redneck' demographic ... I GOT IT! Stripper NASCAR drivers!"


After having to watch Rikishi & Scotty vs. APA, the Ref had had enough. He morphed his hand into a blade, and may God have mercy on them all.


This was the last time ever that Bradshaw would hide Twinkies in his tights.


Oh, real nice, Scotty. Now we're the homos? And who used to be on the tag team known as "Too Much", pray tell?


The Special Olympics salutes Eddie Guererro, the first WWE Champion with no fingers.


Brock: "Mahahahaha! Your tights are talking to me, man..."
Billy: "Oh, man, when did you grow wings?"
Brock: "Jesus, RVD's lighting one up near the ring again, isn't he?"


Billy threw a temper tantrum when the ref wouldn't give him his invisible baby bottle.


Billy: "Hey, Brock! There's a sign out there that says you 'lay loving legends'."
Brock: "Huh? How'd they know about me and Trips?"


Torrie: "And this lovely number, modeled by our very own Sable, is made entirely of A-Train's back hair!"
Sable: "A-Train's... you told me this was mink, you slut!"


Something about Sable leading John around on a metal leash screamed "unhealthy relationship".


The Divas were less than thrilled by John's new "Disco Fever" gimmick.


Torrie: "You're right as always, my dear Jane. Mr. D'Arcy is much too proud! Not at all like Mr. Wickham!"
Cena: "Wha... Huh?"


The WWE's first "Got Your Nose" match got off to a rousing start.


Ref: "Hey, Wight! That's not the US Title!"
Show: "Huh? Oh, sorry Chavo."


Patrick: "C'mon, John, give me a hug."
Cena: "I'm in the middle of a match here!"
Patrick: "You've changed, John..."


Cena: "This is for playing Commander Adama on that pathetic Battlestar Galactica remake, you son of a bitch!"
Chavo Sr.: "For the last time, I'm not... No sh*t, I was Commander Adama?"


Show: "Whoa! Hey, Cena... nice tan!"


And here's what viewers saw at home when Big Show started to do the naked fan dance.


Eddie was thrilled when the Village People showed up to perform "Stop, In the Name of Love".


Eddie: "Oh my God. Booker T, Glenn Jacobs, Maven, Matt Hardy... what are you all doing here? .... What's the deal with these handcuffs? Where are you taking me? ... Oh no... NO... they bury former WCW talent there ... Oh my God... please have mercy!"


Officer on Left: "Nothing you could say could take me away from my guy..."
Officer on Right: "My guy..."
Eddie: "My guy..."


Eddie: "Tell me, Kurt, did you breast-feed your children?"
Angle: "Yes, I did."
Eddie: "Toughened your nipples, didn't it?"
Angle: "Take this... THING back to Baltimore!"
Eddie: " Five foot ten, strongly built, about a hundred and eighty pounds; hair blonde, eyes pale blue. He'd be about thirty-five now. He said he lived in Philadelphia, but he may have lied. That's all I can remember, but if I think of any more, I will let you know. Oh, and Kurt, just one more thing: love your suit!"
Last edited by El Santo; 02-28-2004 at 01:54 AM.
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Old 02-28-2004, 02:46 AM   #33
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Kurt Angle: BRING ME PETER PAN!


Paul: Eddie I promise you we won't bury you as a champion
Eddie: Just like ECW didn't go bankrupt
Paul: ....well met Eddie, well met


Noble: INCOMING!
Rey: You didn't see Dr. Jho too, did you?


Scotty: Rikishi wets his bed
Rikishi: Dude well every once in a while....
Scotty: YOU DID IT FROM ACROSS THE ROOM!
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Old 02-28-2004, 05:02 PM   #34
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Ref: Haha, Billy! My gramma can wrestle better than you! You're a poo-poo head. You just suck! My gramma's shoulder is in better condition than yours, and she can escape this baby submission move easily, much better than you! I mean, when was the last time you won a match? You suck! You're not "Mr. Ass"... you just Suck Ass! You wrestle like my daddy with a butt problem! You wrestle like a GIRL! I bet school girls can kick your ass! Brock will beat you..1..2..3!

Billy Gunn could no longer take the referee's harsh words, and bursted into tears.



Cena: C-A-L-L A-T-T



Ghetto Village People!



Eddie: I am here to check myself into the Mental Hospital, Holmes!

Cop: OK, do you want to walk down to your room on your own do you want to be carried away kicking and screaming?

Eddie: Oooooh Kicking and Screaming would be very good, holmes!



Eddie: ....Ah....
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Old 02-28-2004, 07:50 PM   #35
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Curse you Santo for using that "Stop in the name of Love" before I could


Angle looks on in horror as he is forced to watch the HHH/Stephanie honeymoon video.


Eddie: You're just jealous you don't have a shiny belt across your shoulder, holmes.
Paul: Am not.
Tajiri: Ooo, I want one.


Getting annoyed with the promo, Cena uses his finger grappling hook and joins Sean in the cage.
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Old 02-28-2004, 10:55 PM   #36
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Eddie: I know this drawn-out promo's interrupting what little airtime the cruiserweights get, homes, but if we don't want to join Sean in the cage we have to play along with Vince's crappy ideas.


Billy did the two things in the world that he shouldn't have done to Brock: He bragged about his high-speed internet and he said that Barney the Dinosaur kicked The Teletubbies' asses


Cena: Don't look at the ark, Show! Whatever you do, don't look at the ark!


Eddie: Chippendales dancers for my birthday? Kurt, you shouldn't have.


Kurt: Bad boy, bad boy, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
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Old 02-27-2004, 11:43 PM   #37
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MVP's Captioneer Return:



Kurt Angle shows his enthusiasm when he learned he's going to have to carry Hardcore Holly in another milestone match.


Eddie: "You told me the belt was made out of chocolate?!"


Why Rey started singing "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" during the match; no one knows.



The glass ceiling wouldn't even allow Jamie Noble to stand up.


Scotty 2 Hotty was shocked to find that his tits got bigger.


A lot of fans were pissed that even Bradshaw was carrying a match.


Scotty: "That son of a bitch just called me a homo."
Rikishi: "Scotty I wish you'd stop yelling like that."
Scotty: "Well I wish you wouldn't EAT IN THE DAMN BED!"


Eddie: "Oh yeah, I'm legit"


Billy unleashed the monster in Brock when he ate all the green jellybeans.



When force didn't work, Brock resorted to tickling.


Brock: "Do I smell homosexual?"
Billy: "Oh my god SHUT UP!!"


Torrie: "Billy and I did it in a restaurant, an office, an airplane."
Sable: "I've been with Triple H"
Torrie: "Oh...you must've done some kinky stuff then."
Sable: "Actually he called all the shots."


After a game of Spin the Bottle, Big Show took Chavo to his seven minutes in heaven.


John got a little carried away with the seven minutes in heaven.


Kurt: "Well I might be the one screwing Eddie Guerrero out of his WWE title at Wrestlemania, but I have some good news. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico."


Cop: "Sir, we're the fashion police, remove the shirt, and there won't be any trouble.


Eddie's flagrant nipple flaunting wasn't too appealing to the cops.


Eddie was pretty embarassed to be seen in public with Maven and Mark Henry.


Kurt: "You better return that chocolate belt where it belongs."
Eddie: "IT'S NOT REAL KURT, IT'S NOT REAL!!"
Last edited by MVP; 02-28-2004 at 01:07 AM.
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Old 02-28-2004, 01:01 AM   #38
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El Santo is gold as usual. LMAO at "Stop in the Name of Love." That's the line I was looking for but couldn't quite get.
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Old 02-28-2004, 07:26 PM   #39
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LMAO @ Black Ranger
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Old 02-29-2004, 11:54 AM   #40
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loopydate makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)loopydate makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)loopydate makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)loopydate makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)loopydate makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)loopydate makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)loopydate makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)loopydate makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)loopydate makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)loopydate makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)loopydate makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)loopydate makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)loopydate makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)
Okay. Hoping that some of these are good enough to slip in for the "Caption of the Month" deadline...



KURT: Hi. I'm Kurt Angle, Olympic champion. On behalf of the WWE SmackDown locker room, I would like to take this opportunity to speak directly to our fans. We're sorry about Sean O'Haire's depush. We're sorry about Hardcore Holly's main event run. We're sorry that Bradshaw still has a contract, but Kanyon does not. We're sorry that the Cruiserweight division has consisted of four men over the last year. But we're trying. I mean, we gave Eddie freakin' Guerrero the WWE Title! That's gotta mean something, right? Right? Yeah, you're right. I guess you'd better change the channel now, 'cause there's going to be a killer Cruiserweight match opening the show that gets interrupted by a backstage segment. But, hey, at least the segment features a couple of Cruiserweights! Well, not so much "features" as...well... Ah, just roll the opening montage.



EDDIE: What do you MEAN, ese?
PAUL: I mean exactly what I said. Don't be mad at me, this came directly from Vince.
EDDIE: But I was OVER, man!
PAUL: I'm sorry, but seeing you with gold made him decide that you'd be perfect to play Razor Ramon III.



Rey Mysterio's "Stevie Wonder" gimmick didn't get off to a very good start when Triple H refused to let WWE divert some of his paycheck into buying a piano.
HHH: Meh, just paint keys on Jamie Noble's back!



In the background, Steven Richards kicks out with authority.



Rey couldn't help but chuckle. How he managed to convince Nunzio that if he looked REALLY closely at the canvas, "The Godfather" was playing, was beyond him.



Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: A wrestler whose gimmick got old three years ago!



Loopydate, sitting at home, hoped that Nick Patrick's mind control worked. He had convinced Bradshaw to pick Scotty up. Now if only he could get him to keep walking forward toward the wall of spikes...



BRADSHAW: "If you can read this...I hope you don't mind me eating your knees?" Wha--OW!



Scotty pointed the way to the exit. The fans had to evacuate the building NOW. The WMXX logo was going to blow any second!



EDDIE: *Sigh* Hey yo...



Yep, Billy even botches a hug.



BROCK: This Billy Gunn pillow is so lifelike, Brian. I love it. I just wanna SQUEEEEEEEZE it!
BILLY: Oh, my appendix...



After seeing the sign in the crowd, Brock figured that his gimmick had changed, too. He dropped Billy and became "Leah: Loving Legend!"



The crowd had gone totally silent. Somebody had to tell Torrie that the microphone wouldn't pick up her smile and that she needed to start talking, but no one had the heart to.



John's "Everything's cool when you're J-O-H-N-C-E-N-A" taunt didn't quite go over like his RAW counterpart's.



Point to Sean O'Haire's knees!



JOHN: When did the Godfather become invisible, too? And when did he start dressing his hos in shower curtains?



Sarujohn made sure that each of his Showruk-Wight bore the White Hand before heading off to battle.



SHOW: I found the Halfling!



Patrick was confused. If John was supposed to be Saruman earlier, why was he pretending to be Gollum now?



CHAVO: Why are you giving me an F-U?
JOHN: Because you were in the movie that launched J-Lo's career!
CHAVO: I'M! NOT! EDWARD JAMES OLMOS!



Rey hated it when the hosses decided it was time to play "Catch."



Watching this segment at home, President Bush started taking notes. He was sure he could somehow use this speech as "evidence" to support deporting anyone who isn't white.



EDDIE: That's good, es--
VINCE: *clears throat*
EDDIE: I mean...mang. But let...da Bad Guy show you how to dribble invisible basketballs...chico.



COP: Sorry, Eddie. Master Vince says that until you get the mannerisms right, you're going back to OVW, and the belt is going on A-Train.



EDDIE: You got a bum rap, man. I mean, you WON "American Idol," but that Clay kid gets all the--
COP: I'm not Ruben...



Kurt screamed with surprise. A vehicle backstage at a WWE event...that WASN'T carrying a McMahon?!?
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